D-Day Volume 10 - The Kennedy Gang
Logline: 1947, Welcome to New Orleans, the French Capital of the Americas and Backbone of Prohibition.
Oh I knew I was in for something special right from the start. The cover has a Francophone Louisiana Statue of Liberty wearing a Phrygian cap on a mossy isle, as Not Huckleberry Finn paddles by on a raft and waves at a steamboat. Because... you know... Mississippi.
Then upon the first page, a blonde beautiful buxom nude woman, sleeping atop a not entirely messy bed wearing nothing but heels, her legs locked in such a way as to deny us the peek below the waist line, but the right arm draped over a pair of breasts that defy gravity and are perfectly round.
All right, my brothers and sisters of AH.com. Nude. Blonde. Beautiful. Buxom. Woman. Comic title referenced Kennedy. Would anyone care to take a stab at her name? Go on. Guess. Scroll down to the last panel of the first page and there upon a carpet, next to carelessly thrown about red roses rests a card: "Valentine's Day: To Norma Jean, Love Ya, Joe."
First page. And we already went there.
Then all Hades breaks loose. There is a ringing phone. A gun fight in what is someone's idea of a sleazy and yet upscale New York City bordello. People get machine gunned. The number of assailants somehow goes up from two to four. And I think two men are killed, along with one of the working girls. It is all chaotic and nonsensical and none of the names are mentioned, except the Norma Jean.
Then, we smash cut to page four of the comic with a caption of: "New York, Capital of New England. 3 Days Ago..."
Oh this one is gonna hurt, ain't it?
Shady fellows unload a truck of booze. Their stevedore comments that it is 40 cases of cognac. One of the more uncouth fellows remarks with surprise that it is not bourbon. This gets laughed by... someone. It is not a word balloon, but presumably it is the stevedore who is responding because he notes that if you want bourbon, go to Virginians, this is the good stuff - cognac straight from Louisiana. Perhaps, Kentucky never became a state in TTL. Regardless, the stevedore chides the teamster who pines for cheaper bourbon by calling it "bug juice" and "moonshine" and says Father Kennedy only serves the good stuff at his speakeasies. I am intrigued despite myself.
This nighttime delivery is interrupted by two fellas on motorcycles who roll up outside the warehouse. One of the teamsters sent to do a much belated look out spots them and warns other that Lindbergh's "angels" are here.
...
We are at this point only on page five.
Lindbergh's gang rides in, and as before, their numbers multiply with each panel, making it hard to tell how many of Kennedy's gang fellows there were and how many Lindberghers rolled up on them. One of the lead bikers, who looks more than a little like a more masculine Marlon Brando then... does something to one of the Kennedy lookouts. It is hard to make out. The Beefy Biker holds a folded over rope (or belt?) whose loop is extended out. The loop points to the lookout, who is arrested in motion, his body falling forward, his hat falling ahead of him and blood shading emanating from his head, hair and neck. Was he decapitated by the rope/belt/wire? Was he whipped? Was he hit by a stone from the slingshot? I have no idea. It is weird.
Lindbergh's gang multiplies yet again, and now seems to outnumber the warehouse crew two-to-one. They call one another brothers. Decry the Irish and Jewish scum poisoning their streets with alcohol. Oh and them proclaim themselves to be the Iron Wings of Lindbergh.
...
Now, in case you are very, very thick in the head, don't worry, because in the second to last panel on the page, one of the Kennedy teamsters swipes blood off his face and and speaks thus, "Filthy fascists... They're no better than Chancellor Hitler!"
...
We are on page six, my brothers and sisters.
On page seven, the Iron Wings get ready to torch the warehouse, but not before one of the more astute members of the Iron Wings fascist fan club points out that they are getting ready to burn 15-year-old Courvoisier, and it will burn fast, so they all best be ready. Cognac, bourbon and Courvoisier. Hmm. Why it's almost as if this comic was written by a Frenchman.
This is then interrupted by three gunmen. Two wield Tommy Guns and one has a snub nosed Colt. They attack the Iron Wings and chase them off, but along the way also set the warehouse on fire. Well, that's one way of saving the village, I suppose. One of the gunman addresses the other as Jack and says they have to go and warn their father. Jack fulminates on Iron Wings, while the first speaker rejoins that they can replenish the stock by going down to New Orleans and just in time for the Mardi Gras.
The shooters are depicted in silhouette and then have their backs to us before a raging fire, so we cannot see their faces. Also, while they are the only two shooters to have a conversation, there was clearly a third shooter that is never depicted before we cut to another scene. Considering the fellow only had a snub nosed Colt (the two Kennedy brothers each had a Tommy Gun), I am not sure why this third person was depicted and what role if any they will have later on in the story. Also, this once again makes it confusing to keep track of people involved in an action scene, a motif so far in this story.
We then cut to a meeting of the mobsters. Kennedy Sr. (bow tie and glasses) wants to run for President, a motion that leaves the other fellows aghast. "Meyer" is against it, while looking rather dapper and slim, in his velvet fedora and smoking a stogie. Kennedy explains that now that Roosevelt is dead and Wilson is discredited, he has a chance. Something that "Capone," looking like a land whale enclosed in a brown three piece suit with a matching fedora, thinks makes no sense. Kennedy then says he has a chance, but gets yelled at by a rather ugly fellow named "Siegel," who thinks Kennedy is out to just help himself and will ruin a good thing they got going. To which Kennedy replies that there is more money out there to be made in something other than cognac smuggling, referencing a new drug mentioned by a Viennese doctor named Freud. And then in case you are thick - he calls it cocaine.
The page then ends, leaving us with a lot to digest.
Kennedy wants to end Prohibition and wants to run on that platform. Other gangsters oppose him. And he wants them to transition into coke dealers. This is not going to end well, is it?
And sure enough, on the next page, Meyer, Capone and Siegel (in case you are thick, they call him Bugsy here as well) talk of how they need to stop Kennedy, but Meyer, no longer looking dapper and whose hat has changed color to brown reminds them that Kennedy knocks up his old lady "with the regularity of a metronome" and that he has two sons named Jack and Joe Jr., to say nothing of Robert and Edward and some tough gal daughters. If they (non-Irish gangsters) go after Kennedy, they will start a war that will tear New York apart.
Meanwhile, Kennedy Sr. gets in the car and talks to a starlet who does not like to wait. Her name is Suzy Delair. For those of us who are not Fracophones, she was the Lana Turner/Carole Lombard of her age, in France. I suppose the writers of the comic did not want to introduce someone the French would not know or wanted to really stress the French own this world in TTL, or something. They are followed by a car driven by a man in uniform with a monocle, whose passenger is Clouzot, a French director in OTL whose work in thrillers are considered historic. Think Hitchcock, minus the greatness. Once again, this is not someone non-movie nerd outside of France would know, and is a curious choice. In OTL, both Delair and Clouzot were once tainted by the charge of collaborating with the Nazis during Occupation, though both overcame it. Coincidence? Or is this going somewhere?
Ma Kennedy spots Kennedy Sr. making out Suzy in the back of the car through a window of her second story bedroom. Kennedy Sr. sends the car and Suzy off and goes to talk to two of his boys, only one of whom is shown in profile and I have no idea if this is Joe Jr., Jack, Robert or Edward. Meanwhile Clouzot tells his driver to go on and calls him "Eric."
I have a sneaking suspicion due to Eric's monocle and the film references so far that Eric might in fact be Erich von Stroheim, the acclaimed German actor and director, but I shall wait and see.
Eric drives off Clouzot, who speaks of Kennedy's many crimes and how all know of his smuggling of "wines and spirits." Because apparently in this world, no one smuggles whiskey or beer and it's all bourbon and cognac? Anyway, Clouzot is determined to put a stop to it, though Eric warns him the Kennedy syndicate has ties to the entertainment industry, but Clouzot says he cannot allow Kennedy Sr. to take away his Suzy from him, and says that he (Clouzot) can to be "diabolical," which as tone deaf a reference as any in this comic, given Clouzot's most famous film in OTL was called "Les Diaboliques."
Meanwhile at Kennedy compound, Kennedy Sr. speaks to his two sons on his plans. We learn through the course of the page that the one whose face was shown is Joe Jr. - he is also the fellow who was in the room with Norma Jean when the assailants came calling in the first page of this comic. And the other fellow whose face was not shown, but who wears sunglasses when shown in profile, is Jack. Okay.
Kennedy Sr. wants to meet with Hitler, who is the protector of Lindbergh... because of course. Jack thinks that Hitler is a danger to the free world, but Kennedy Sr. just wants to make money and he thinks he can cut a deal with Hitler to get him to call off Lindbergh's Iron Wings. Joe Jr. suggests going down to New Orleans to get more booze, since all of their just went up in that warehouse fire. Kennedy Sr. thinks that's a grand notion and tells Jack to leave the politics to him and to listen to Joe Jr. and get more booze from New Orleans via a convoy, but to be careful.
And now we have a semblance of a plot being set in motion.
Though, we only saw one warehouse be lit on fire. And it was not that large a building. And apparently Kennedy gang keeps all their booze in one central location with no backups and one attack wiped out their entire stock. This raises more questions than answers, but is not grossly offensive, so let us move on and see where the story takes us - a NYC hotel shoot out with Norma Jean and Joe Jr.
Joe Jr. and Jack horseplay and drive a single truck (is this our convoy?) down what seems to be the bridges of Madison County and talk Norma Jean. Seems Jack has been nailing her for three months now, while Joe Jr. has been seeing her for a year. They laugh this off, because, ya know, bros. And Joe Jr. offers to give her up to Jack, while Jack says that he was thinking of handing her off to Joe Jr. despite Norma Jean complaining about his (Joe Jr.) lovemaking skills. This dialogue is about as believable as it reads on here, but then world-building interrupts. They approach customs, where a single sleeping cop (with a bottle of booze on his desk, probably absinthe) lets them by and they comment it's a good thing the mighty French don't invade United States. Oh, you French writers with your wonderful pandering.
The customs office deserves a moment of discussion: it has a limp US flag with unknown number of stars, an open metal filing cabinet, cubby holes full of books, three mismatched chairs and a halogen tube desk lamp. The crook neck lamp is straight from the '70s while halogen tubes were commercially made available in the late '50s in OTL, but considering we are living in a world where Freud is just now being recognized in 1947 and cocaine took sixty years longer than OTL to become a thing... meh.
As they cross the border, world-building gets heavier. We see a modern day OTL Canadian flag hanging from a sign announcing to visitors they are welcomed to New France.
...
Uh-huh.
They then pass a cemetery and have banter about how it contains the grave of George Washington. The translation is iffy here, but from what I gather he was one of the last Colonial officers to die for the British Crown. Joe Jr. comments on how he calls something about it from his Harvard history class, and Jack (who has now switched to wearing glasses instead of sunglasses, I guess? Then again, he is driving, so that could make sense) opines that if the French hadn't lost the Seven Years' War, all of them could still be English.
Hey, we got a POD!
Joe Jr. does not like the English, because he is Irish ya see.
More world-building, the Kennedy brothers are crossing Iroquois nation, whose police lieutenant is corrupt and has a French name. In case you, the reader are worried that any Native Americans are about to depicted in a negative way, rest assured as Jack and Joe Jr. spend three panels talking about how the Iroquois are a proud people and good folk, it's just that the lieutenant is a piece of shit.
Oddly, nobody felt the need to explain that about the Jews and Irish the Iron Wings slandered. Then again, the Iron Wings are the bad guys in this story, and the Kennedy boys are the good guys, so they cannot be seen as even casually racist, unless you count their feelings against the English, and clearly no one does.
That mention of race, however, makes my Spidey sense tingle, as I feel the comic is about to make some kind of commentary. The brothers stop to get food, and a cook tells that the lieutenant is in the area, having caught two illegals trying to cross the border to try to get work at Citroen works in Chicago. Joe Jr. does not care. Jack goes to take a wee, and warns Joe Jr. not to make trouble if the police lieutenant were to show up. If? Come on, my brothers and sisters, we just spend a page and a half referencing someone we never met and who has had to bearing on the story. If? Come on.
As Jack takes a wee, he spots through an ace of spades door hole the lieutenant kill two black men for trespassing. Before said killing, the lieutenant screws in a sound suppressor into the barrel of his gun and this naturally causes pop-pop sounds once he executes the two black men.
So we got a corrupt racist homicidal "sheriff" who hates our two "heroes" - both of whom we saw get gunned down by page three of this comic - and he is going into the same diner where the two brothers are located. There follows a pointless action scene where Jack tries to get Joe Jr. out of the restaurant before the sheriff gets the drop on them. He does. Jack tries to mediate. It goes nowhere. They are about to be shot, by Joe Jr. uses brass knucks to take out the sheriff. And we knew all this was going to go nowhere because because the two brothers will be shot to death in a hotel in New York City per page three of this comic.
There follows a pointless two more pages as brothers hightail it out and argue over whether they should back, having just assaulted a police officer and witnessing a double homicide or go on to New Orleans.
One bit of world-building appears: Florida belongs to Spain, and the Spanish will not care what the Kennedy brothers will smuggle out of French held New Orleans back into New England New York.
The sheriff wakes and gets on the horn and a roadblock is setup by policemen in French copper clothes. The brothers bust through.
Next we get more world-building. Seems New France is hard hit by the recession, and is an independent nation (?). There is a reference of New France getting involved in a European war in 1922. The said war having gotten started in 1918. Predictably, Joe Jr. takes the Kennedy Sr. stance and quotes dad as saying New France should have stayed out as Americas must take care of Americas. Jack derides this as isolationism and says we're all in this together and it's not that simple. Joe Jr. disagrees. He thinks that Europe belongs to the Europeans and let them stew in their own affairs. This is interrupted by an old man tramping about in the remains of a French Great War uniform, completely with a kepi. He then world-builds further, mentioning how his regiment was one of the first to leave New France and land in Europe and how he marched with his regiment all the way to Berlin.
The old soldier says they are trespassing on his land, but he'll allow it as it is not his any more either, on account he got kicked off it by them politicians up in Montreal. Oh my, a world where French-Canadians rule all of North America except for the original 13 colonies. And now that Maple Leaf flag makes slightly more sense. But not really. Anyway, Jack thinks a man who tills the land should not have it taken from him. Old Soldier thinks that's a fine notion and more world-building commences.
Old Soldier landed in old France in 1923 and talks of the feats of the New France Army in liberating their old world cousins and striking for Berlin. Woodrow Wilson then proposed a peace treaty between all, but was shunned by the English and French who wanted to make Germany pay. We are then shown a Brandenburg Gate in flames and Old Soldier talk of many lives lost.
Old Soldiers gives hints to our two doomed heroes on how to avoid various police roadblocks, and so they do, until they reach the South. And we know this because there is cotton being worked on by black people, who are bound for 30 years to work on the farms. Joe Jr. thinks it could be worse for everyone involved and that King Cotton helped fuel New France economically, or so most folk think. Jack just hates slavery. You know, because Jack is the good one.
They reach New Orleans via a span bridge and drive past the Not Statue of Liberty. There a corrupt fat dealer of liquor in a white suit tells them that Spain and Boston are making a deal that will involved Spanish Navy patrolling the Gulf and no more booze shipments. All they have now is Mexican tequila. Oh, the horror, no more cognac.
The Fat Man in a White Suit says that the corrupt sheriff has framed the two boys for the murder of the two black men outside the diner and there is a warrant for their arrest. All of New France is looking for them. So they head down to the French Quarter to booze it up in Mardi Gras, to the chagrin of Joe Jr., but Jack thinks it's a good cover.
Now, folks, we have not had any celebrity appearances in a while. So naturally we must meet Walter Disney. Only he changed his name to be more French and now goes by D'isigny. Citroen will finance his next cartoon idea "Alfred the Mischievous Rabbit." And Citroen has a personal female photographer to document his travails in New Orleans.
Would anyone care to guess her name at this point?
Jacqueline Bouvier.
Jack says that the day he starts liking brunettes he might give her a call. Joe Jr. thinks he (Joe Jr.) should have a chat with Jackie now on account he does not hair dye color discriminate. I should also mention that Jackie looks like Joan Collins circa Dynasty than OTL Jackie did at any more of her life.
Jack loses money at cards, and Joe Jr. mentions that as long as Citroen is going to finance Disney's silly ideas about cartoons maybe he can help out Siegel get his crazy idea off the ground: a casino complex in the middle of a desert out in Indian territories out in the far west.
...
We are now at the half way point of the comic.
Jack asks Jackie if she wants a ride, but Jackie will ride with Citroen. Jack muses what might have been and says they will meet at another time or another life.
...
Half way point, folks. We can do this. I believe in you.
There is a scuffle outside, as a black guitar player is beaten for actually having the temerity to ask to be paid to ply his craft in the entertainment establishment. The Kennedy boys are there to save him and suddenly the number of assailants grows from one to two. Anyway, Kennedy boys beat up the racists and save the day. Jackie takes pictures of them, but Jack exposes the film as they don't need that type of publicity. This gets him a slap in the face and Jackie leaves, for good.
They make their way to the warehouse of the Fat Man in a White Suit, who has naturally betrayed them to the corrupt sheriff, who holds them up at gun point. Once again, all of this is pointless, because we know they get killed in a New York hotel room, not in a New Orleans warehouse, so there is no threat felt at all.
They are saved by the black fella they saved earlier and all three agree to hightail it out of New Orleans.
They then detour into the bayou and decide to spend the night there.
Meanwhile, in New York City, Suzy says she is going to leave Kennedy Sr. because he won't marry her. He quite logically points out that marrying a Cajun won't go over with the Irish voters and cost him the presidency. So she says she will go back to Clouzot. Kennedy Sr. denigrates his commercial success. Ain't that always the way with them Yankees, prizing money over true art? But Suzy counters she can run off with Orson Welles, who is hankering to make a movie about the rise of a bootlegger called "Citizen K."
...
Suddenly Sam Carsten needing that zinc oxide is not that bad, is it?
A whole lot of nothing happens until we see Norma Jean Baker do her routine in a NYC club, where Clouzot and definitely Erich von Stroheim meet her and Clouzot has a favor to ask of Norma Jean - let him know the next time she has a date with Joe Kennedy Jr. or Jack.
In the bayou, the Kennedy brothers plot their escape with a truck full of booze, but the corrupt sheriff is hot on their trails with a pair of shotgun wielding desperadoes, two vicious dogs and an old local cop who spotted the Kennedy brothers when they first came to the bayou.
There is a gunfight and a let loose murderous dog that can swim and jumps on boats and nonsense.
The gunfight is pointless and inept, but at least I can tell who is shooting at whom and have a clear understanding as to the number of people involved, which is something.
One of the two black men in the boat saves the life of the corrupt sheriff and he is dropped off on a swamp shore by the Kennedy brothers who spare his life, despite him trying to gun them down and being a racist homicidal maniacs. This is explained as them not wanting to stoop to his level. Why yes this comic was written by a smug European, how can you tell?
The Kennedy brothers get back to NYC and meet up with their father, who says the election is going well. Jack thinks Lindbergh is a scumbag and Hitler is a threat, but Kennedy Sr. could give a fig about Europe and thinks Germany is just trying to get what they lost in '23 and tells him to forget about politics and get ready for his date with Norma Jean.
Norma Jean places the call to the gangsters and gives up the location of the Kennedy brothers. Hotel Niagra, Room 107. Siegel will be in charge of getting boys from Murder, Inc. involved to ensure it gets done. So... Clouzot is working with the mob to bump off the Kennedy brothers because Kennedy Sr. had sex with one of his starlets.
Uh-huh.
This conversation is overheard by Suzy, by the way.
She goes to warn the boys and she is the one who calls Joe Jr. in his hotel room. But it is too late. He is killed. Jack meanwhile is shot gunned through a third or two story window and lands atop a car. Suzy is horrified from a nearby payphone, while Clouzot drives up and tells her to get in, saying he warned her he is not a man to be betrayed.
Once again, his revenge for someone having sex with a woman he liked is to kill that man's sons. And by the way, Meyer spent half a page warning us on how they cannot take on the Kennedy family, but now they just decided that they can kill two Kennedy brothers due to French film director giving them some aid? The Hell, comic?
Smash cut to one year later and swastika emblazoned zeppelin comes to New York City. President Lindbergh has cut off all diplomatic ties with Europe upon inauguration, but Hitler has accepted an invitation to meet him as he thinks they have a lot in common.
Cut to a year later, and Capone, Siegel and Meyer talk business. Capone thinks Lindbergh is doing things just fine as with Prohibition still running, they can make money. Siegel thinks that Hitler is up to no good and brings up stories about what is happening to Jews in Germany, but Capone tut-tuts this by saying it's in Germany. Things are fine in New England, honest. But Siegel has a paper, seems in the Appalachian mountains, moonshiners they know have been rounded up and sent to some kind of new prison camp.
...
They are locked up there without trial. Lawyers sent there have not come back. There is barbed wire fence. And Meyer notices that there is a chimney in the back of the camp. And Siegel notes it's active.
...
Kennedy Sr. broods and is told by his son Robert that he will join the RAF, Kennedy Sr. having made his peace with Lindbergh and waiting to go to Berlin as the new ambassador, forbids it, but Bobby will go his own way.
The End.
Verdict: if this what passes for mainstream AH, we're in deep trouble. We got pointless celebrity cameos, a POD in the Seven Years War that somehow results in the same set of people living in 1947. We got a delayed Hitler, due to a delayed World War Two. And it is not explained how the loss of the two sons made Kennedy lose the election. I mean, yes, we can guess. But we could have skipped Jackie O. and Disney cameos and spent some more time on the story. The hotel room shoot out as a cold open hamstrings the story before it gets going. And the plot is ridiculous.
The art is curious. Colin Wilson is a good comic book artist. But here he draws his women as if he's Howard Chaykin trying to impress someone and his men all look the same. There is a lot of confusion as to the number of people involved in the action scenes and lack of understanding of the space. The only sequence where that does not occur is the bayou shoot-out with dogs, but by that point I tuned out, because I knew our heroes would die in NYC after they have made it from the bayou.
This is not the worst D-Day/Jour-J fare, but definitely horrible.
