Ireland Challenge (semi-serious)

[Thande]

(For Leej ).

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to make the history of Ireland as close as possible to how some Americans apparently think it is, with plausible justifications.

I.e., the only thing stopping a Gaelic-speaking world empire spreading out from Eire is the perfidy of the eeeeeevil English.

Your POD can be as far back as you want, because God knows you're going to need it

 

[Nekromans]

(For Leej ).

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to make the history of Ireland as close as possible to how some Americans apparently think it is, with plausible justifications.

I.e., the only thing stopping a Gaelic-speaking world empire spreading out from Eire is the perfidy of the eeeeeevil English.

Your POD can be as far back as you want, because God knows you're going to need it

May I humbly suggest that the harp is required as the national symbol?

 

[Thande]

May I humbly suggest that the harp is required as the national symbol?

And the shamrock.

And possibly a pint of Guinness.

 

[Nekromans]

And the shamrock.

And possibly a pint of Guinness.

Well, obviously the Guinness.

Perhaps we could have Super-English Anti-Celtic Bad-Nazis in power and attempt a parallel of the holocaust? (I sounded like a Japanese anime then, didn't I?) Maybe it's proven that the English caused the potato famine by their presence on the sacred isle?

More seriously, maybe my attempts at Islamic Ireland could come to fruition, and the English could be even more Irish-Killing to try and get rid of the Oirish Mahometans!

 

[Nekromans]

In case my Loyal Readers (all three of them) didn't realise it, that was a sign that I am seriously considering going back to Al-Eyir, but need some help on how the hell to get there. Any suggestions?

 

[NapoleonXIV]

Oliver Cromwell, before he dies, has been reading about Tokugawa Japan. Seeing the Sagoku as the possible solution to the Irish problem (they've just started another revolution, which he's again just put down, with another few massacres), he places them in charge of his most ruthless lieutenants just before he shuffles off the mortal coil with instructions to follow the model of the 'country in chains' as closely as possible.

In the next decade Ireland is completely cut off from the outside world, and with the restoration that includes England itself. Ireland is now ruled by a ruthless Lord Protector, a Shogun, but without the Shogun's normal tendency and motivation to be a nice guy

Cut to 1814 when the invading Americans overthrow the Crown and liberate Ireland. What would Ireland be like after 200 years of total oppression and absolute isolation?

 

[Tyr]

Stop the invention of beer.
Why should we conquer the world when we've got guiness?

 

[Valdemar II]

Stop the invention of beer.
Why should we conquer the world when we've got guiness?

Yes clearly the German have shown that people with beer are some of the most peaceful people in the world.

 

[NapoleonXIV]

Yes clearly the German have shown that people with beer are some of the most peaceful people in the world.

AA...but they have none of our Irish whisky. Beer, y'know, will just rust your Irishman's iron stomach, whisky pickles it.

 

[Canis Lupus]

Stop the invention of beer.
Why should we conquer the world when we've got guiness?

There was a Family Guy episdoe that had this exact same joke.


And, Thande, its not Americas fault that England is sooo very evvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllll...................

 

[rcduggan]

a meteor shower kills everyone but the irish.

at the same time, we ride our leprechaun space ships to colonize the world. and drink Guinness.

 

[DMA]

How about the Irish are Protestant whilst the English are all Catholics...

 

[randomkeith]

Heathen Ireland

How about a senario were by St. Patrick was unable to bring Christianity to the Emerald Isle, and as a result the Irish pagans form an alliance with the heathen Scotts and are easily able to over run and enslave their peacefull Christian neighbours in England.

 

[Rocano]

And the shamrock.

And possibly a pint of Guinness.

You suck even as a joke thats insensitive

 

[Rocano]

Hugh Oneills Rebellion suceeds Irish get on good terms with Catholic Nations Irish Send Sailors and settle North East America

 

[Farfromhome]

Ha apparently you all have not realized it yet, but there is a an Irish Empire that rules the world. Its called the US of A.

 

[Hobelhouse]

You suck even as a joke thats insensitive

Dude, lighten up. And I say this as a guy who has an O' in front of his name.

 

[Oweno]

How about a senario were by St. Patrick was unable to bring Christianity to the Emerald Isle, and as a result the Irish pagans form an alliance with the heathen Scotts and are easily able to over run and enslave their peacefull Christian neighbours in England.

The Irish Colonized Scotland

 

[Wanderlust]

I've done a set of stories based on a timeline like this

But I won't post them on here because I want to publish them

 

[mutt]

You suck even as a joke thats insensitive

If there's one thing the Irish do, it's we do humour well, even on ourselves...lighten up, Old Irish guy in the Simpsons voice:shur it's all in good fun.