the best movies never made

[gap80]

SPACE JAM

Drama (1990) set in the distant future concerning a young man working at a factory in Jupiter's orbit that produces jam in space. It was disliked by critics and audiences for being too ridiculous while filmed as being very serious, but not in a humorously ironic way. Kubrick would not make another movie until 1999, with the release of Eyes Wide Shut.

Kubrick's Space Jam, however, is not to be confused with:

The more famous Spaceballs: Episode I: Space Jam (1988) - a parody of the first three Star Wars movies

Spaceballs: Episode II: The Revenge of Yawn-Yawn Jinx (2002) - a parody of Star Wars: Phantom Menace, where the villain is a parody of Jar Jar Binks trying to avenge being left out of the first Spaceballs movie.

Spaceballs: Episode III: The Search for More Money (2017) - a parody of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, involving a parody of a certain cartoon mouse...

 

[Gorrister]

There is more to this thread than puns, you know...

 

[Laqueesha]

Batman

A movie about the life of Moses Fleetwood Walker, the first black baseball player in the U.S.

 

[NCW8]

Avengers 2: Sage of Ultra

John Steed and Emma Peel track down enemy agents who have kidnapped a mathematical genius who was working on the top secret Ultra project.


The IT Alien Job

A computer expert is hired by a group of aliens to remove the computer virus their systems were infected with on a previous visit to Earth.


Cheers,
Nigel

 

[NCW8]

Where Eagles Dare.

A dramatisation of the escape of two prisoners of war from Colditz Castle using a glider. In the film, the glider was called the Eagle as it was felt that audiences would misinterpret the actual name - "The Colditz Cock". The name change allowed the title to refer to both the glider and the main character Phil Carrington, who was a member of the Eagle Squadron when he was captured.

Although well made, the film suffered criticism in the UK due to portraying the glider as being built and flown by American officers rather than British.

Cheers,
Nigel

 

[Zheng He]

Batmen:

A movie about Mediterranean Fleet carrier operations in 1940 and 1941, told from the point of view of the LSOs...

 

[kaijudirector]

The Return of Godzilla (1982)

Akira Kurosawa's Godzilla film, made in-between Kagemusha and Ran. After patching up his relationship with Toshiro Mifune and the box-office success of Kagemusha, Akira Kurosawa was finally allowed to make his own Godzilla movie. Godzilla reawakens after a freak nuclear accent at sea involving a Soviet submarine, and proceeds to rampage across Japan. The prime minister (Toshiro Mifune) battles attempts from advisers and US-Soviet ambassadors to utilize nuclear weapons and attempts to put a halt to the King of The Monsters' rampage. After several attempts are made to stop him, resulting in the destruction of Saporro, Sendai, Tokyo, and Yokohama, Godzilla is lured to Mount Mihara and trapped there when he falls into the volcano and crater gets blocked up by debris.

The film went overbudget - from 6 million to 12 million dollars - so Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, and Steven Speilberg made a deal with 20th Century Fox to make up for the shortfall - something that had happened during Kagemusha. In return, Fox once again handled distribution rights, and in thanks, the trio - and Kurosawa - were given cameo roles as themselves.

The film grossed 15 million domestically and 4 million in the US. It is long considered one of the best films in the franchise, due to Kurosawa's involvement.

 

[silvandv]

I just finished re-reading Superman: The Red Son by Mark Millar and I think it would make a fantastic movie trilogy, in the vein of the Dark Knight Trilogy even. The three parts would be as per the comic book - first part revolving around Superman rising through Stalin's ranks and the beginnings of his rivalry with Lex Luthor, and the creating of Superman 2; second part revolving around Batman's vigilantism and the Superman-Wonder Woman team up; third with the climax involving Brainiac. Tentative titles I've thought of are "Superman: The Red Son", "The Red Son Ascendant" and "The Red Son Rising". Question is, when would be the best time for it to work and who would be the people behind it?

Besides producer, director, screenwriter etc, here's the primary characters we need to cast/voice cast:

• Superman (all three parts)
• Wonder Woman (all three parts)
• Lex Luthor (all three parts)
• Lois Lane Luthor (all three parts)
• James Olsen (all three parts)
• Lana Lazarenko [TTL Lana Lang] (all three parts)
• Pyotr Roslov [TTL Pete Ross] (parts 1 & 2)
• Batman [Russian ITTL] (part 2)
• Brainiac (parts 2 & 3)
• Hal Jordan, Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart (cameos in part 3)
• Joseph Stalin (part 1)
• John F Kennedy (part 2)
• Lex Luthor's super-menaces - Doomsday, Parasite, Atomic Skull, etc (parts 2 & 3)

Ideas?

Expanding on this, I think I'd like to this an ATL version of the Dark Knight Trilogy, in which Nolan made this instead of a trilogy about Batman. So, we have a trilogy starting 2005. In the vein of the Dark Knight titles, this trilogy could have titles like "The Superman Weapon", "The Red Son" and "The Red Son Rising" - you know what I mean.

Who would be cast as Superman, Wonder Woman, Lex Luthor, Lois Lane, James Olsen, Pete Ross, Lana Lang and Joseph Stalin for the first part?

 

[HIM Dogson]

101 Dalmatians
This heavily praised historical film details the heroic defense of a mountain pass by 101 soldiers of the Royal Yugoslav Army, from the Dalmatian coast, against an entire Waffen SS division. Their sacrifice would buy the Yugoslavs and Greeks time to organize a consistent defense against the Axis, which in turn would allow the British to reinforce the Balkan Front. The ensuing campaign would spell the beginning of the end of WWII, as the Germans were distracted enough by the Balkan front that they lost Operation Barbarossa handily. WWII would end in Europe in 1943, after a successful coup against Hitler, and it was all thanks to the sacrifice of these 101 Dalmatians.

 

[Archibald]

Star Trek: Wrath of Thrawn
POD: George and Marcia Lucas never divorce in 1983. Marcia has a dream (That Whacky Redhead style) where Captain Kirk, Spock, and Uhura shake hands with Han Solo, Luke and Leia on Coruscant.
Before that a flotilla of Enterprise-class ships got caught in a time portal (The Final Countdown like). Starfleet flotilla of 15 space cruisers will help The Republic fight Thrawn reborn Empire.

 

[Some Bloke]

They fought on the beaches (2000). Starring Mark Strong , Richard Armitage, Anna Chancellor
Rachel Weisz, Albert Finney, Bruno Gantz, and Til Schweiger Introducing Michael Fassbender.


A film made for the 60s anniverary of the failed invasion of Britain during the Second World War.
The 50th anniversary was marked with a set of BBC 3 parters detaling daily life before, during
and after the invasion.

Albert Finney and Bruno Gantz are noted for their performances as Churchill and Hitler respectively,
with the latter gaining the Oscar for Best Supporting actor. His rendition of Hitler's infamous rant after hearing the invasion
had been called off after the destruction of the first wave became one of the eariest internet viral videos.

The main plot follows the civilians Elisabeth "Bessie" Clarke (Chancellor), a Land Girl, Austrian born doctor
Sara Roth (Weisz) and her brother Albert (Fassbender). Although billed as main characters, Royal Marine Sergeant
Harry Kurtz (Strong), RAF pilot Jack Colvin (Armitage) and German Paratrooper Willi Adler, only feature
prominently towards the end, where the film's focus moves to the invasion attempt itself.

The beaching of the Battleship Ramillies was the Academy Award for Best Visual Effect, although Mark Strong's
action sequence afterward was considered "a bit over the top" by many British critics, despite a) being based
on real events and b) having the more certain elements removed at the insistence of the remaining survivors
of the action on which it was based in order to make the sequence more believable.

 

[King Thomas]

Michael Collins- A documentary about the sixth member of One Direction and his romance with Taylor Swift
Guns of the South- A documentary about how easy it is to buy guns in the southern states of the USA compared with most of the northern states
One Direction-This Is Us- A covert film by gangsters from the notorious One Direction Cartel glorifying their violence. Banned in most countries.
In Plain Sight-A Michael Moore film about how much inequality there is in the USA.

 

[Laqueesha]

Rugir de el Cañón (2042)

2042 U.S. film, set in 2011 and 2012, during the height of the Mexican Drug War.

 

[seraphim74]

Kampfgeschwader Lutzow (1943)
Story of German bomber crew fighting in the Soviet Union. While the movie was often criticized for too much propaganda, it was universally praised for excellent air combat scenes and spectacular charge of Polish cavalry saving Germans pilots from Soviet captivity. Also known as the last movie of popular Polish actor, Eugeniusz Bodo (playing Colonel Piotrowski) before is death in a car accident.
(A movie from "An extremely reluctant Fuhrer" TL by johnboy)

 

[Mikestone8]

Frankie Howard's great venture into comedy sf "Up Uranus".

 

[King Thomas]

King Kong- A two hour epic about the struggle of King Kong of Manchuria's fight against Kublai Khan's Mongol Empire. Great CGI graphics and battle scenes, but the critics called the acting wooden and the dialogue inane.
The Untouchables- A documentary about itchy diseases such as eczema, known as untouchable diseases because once the itch is even touched it often leads to the skin being scratched raw.
Titanic-A documentary about the presidency of Donald Trump
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians- A holovision documentary about the Space Cruiser the USS Santa Claus and the battalion of US Space Marines who put down the three year long Martian revolt when the Martian colonists tried to secede from Earth.
My Big Fat Jewish Wedding-Disastrous sequel to the famous blockbuster "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" heavily criticised for having almost every anti-Jewish stereotype that exists. One film critic said it was as bigoted as something that the Nazis would have come up with.

 

[Miss Teri]

Set in a world where the Cold War never ended.
Man from UNCLE (2012)- A modern update of the 60's television show, revolving around a mysterious terrorist group launching attacks in various locations around the globe. The UN Security organization UNCLE, led by Alexander Waverly (Jim Broadbent) sends in agents, former CIA Napoleon Solo (Arnie Hammer) and Soviet Navy officer Illya Kuryakin (Anton Yelchin) to stop them. The two spend the movie bickering, but soon are confronted with a plot to send both the American and Soviet nuclear missiles to key cities around the globe. They must set aside their differences, and prevent the terrorists (called THRUSH) from succeeding.

 

[Deleted member 96212]

Super Mario Bros: Based on the award-winning video game series, this animated comedy-adventure film follows Mario and Luigi in their quest to save the Mushroom Kingdom and rescue Princess Toadstool from the evil Bowser. Featuring Bob Hoskins as the voice of Mario, John Leguizamo as Luigi and Dennis Hopper as Bowser, with Samantha Mathis voicing Toadstool. The film was a critical success, and owed that to, as one critic said, "staying true to the games, rather than setting it in a dystopian futuristic parallel universe". A notable running gag featured the amusing injuries the brothers inflicted on their adversaries, such as Goombas being seen sporting ice packs.

Three sequels were produced, based on Super Mario Bros 2, Super Mario Bros 3, and Super Mario World. For the latter two, Charles Martinet took over as the voice of Mario and Luigi.

Man, I wish.

 

[King Thomas]

Breaking Bad-A documentary about the torture used at Guantanamo Bay in an attempt to break the wills of the "bad" many of who are totally innocent people.

 

[Ogrebear]

Independence Day (1996) - Aliens arrive on Earth and proclaim Earth to be part of their Galactic Empire; Humans don't take to kindly to this and lead a revolt against their Imperial Masters.

Terminator (1994) - A NYC set docudrama about the City's notorious rat problem.

Out of the Window (2005) -Suprisingly entertaining comedy movie about one buisness' attempts to switch from MS Windows infastructure to anything else...