Dividing the U.S.- Wild Wild West style

[Strategos' Risk]

Suppose the U.S. is overcome by an alliance of Euro powers (rather by a super spiderrobot as in the movie), and they divvy up the states amongst themselves as in the movie (and in the insufferable Empires Earth TL on AHTG). Could the following scenario happen?

"Great Britain gets back the thirteen original colonies...minus Manhattan. Florida and the Fountain of Youth go back to Spain! Texas, New Mexico, California, Arizona revolve a Mexico! The Louisiana Purchase reverts back to the King of France! And a tiny piece for me to retire on..."
- Dr. Loveless, to representatives of the above-named foreign powers

I read the script for the film. I'm not sure if it's elaborated in the movie itself, but the Native American fellow who appears with braids in a suit is a representative, and his people get Manhattan. Presumably he's an Iroquois. Personally, I would have created a buffer state for the Five Nations between Lousiana, Mexico, and Spanish Florida. Plains Indians? Let 'em live in Canada, which gets the upper tier of Washington territory. Maybe Russia gets a piece of California. But that should be the limit of Euro powers who were involved in the U.S. I hated it in Empires-Earth when Germany got California "because the immigrants requested aid." That TL has a too-casual dismembly of North America, South America, and the democratic world. Finally, China should get San Francisco, maybe as a freeport to the Western powers.

Maybe this belongs in the ASB forum.

 

[Grimm Reaper]

Oooohhh...

Wild Wild West, Jim West, desperado, rough rider
No you don't want nada
None of this, six gun in this, brotha runnin this,
Buffalo soldier, look it's like I told ya
Any damsel that's in distress
Be out of that dress when she meet Jim West
Rough neck so go check the law and abide
Watch your step with flex and get a hold in your side
Swallow your pride, don't let your lip react,
You don't wanna see my hand where my hip be at,
With all of this, from the start of this,
Runnin the game, James West tamin the west so remember the name
Now who ya gonna call?

Not the G.B.'s

Now who you gonna call?

*G double E G*

If you have a riff with people wanna bust,
Break out before you get bumrushed at the (Wild Wild West)
When I roll into the (Wild Wild West)
When I stroll into the (Wild Wild West)
When I bounce into the (Wild Wild West) Sisqo, Sisqo

We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West

Now, now, now, now once upon a time in the west
Mad man lost his damn mind in the west
Loveless, givin up a dime, nothin' less
Now I must put his behind to the test (can you feel me)
Then through the shadows, in the saddle, ready for battle
Bring all your boys in, here come the poison
Behind my back, all the riffin' ya did,
Front and center, now when you look back kid?
Who dat is? A mean brotha, bad for your health
Lookin damn good though, if I could say it myself
Told me Loveless is a mad man, but I don't fear that
Got mad weapons too, ain't tryin to hear that
Tryin to bring down me, this champion
When y'all clowns gon' see that it can't be done
Understand me son, I'm the slickest they is,
I'm the quickest as they is, did I say I'm the slickest they is
So if you barking up the wrong tree we comin, don't be startin nothin
Me and my partner gonna test your chest, Loveless
Can't stand the heat then get out the Wild Wild West

We going straight to (when I roll into the)the Wild Wild
West (when I stroll into the)
We going straight to (when I bounce into the)the Wild Wild
West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West

To any outlaw tryin to draw, thinkin you're bad,
Any draw on West best with a pen and a pad,
Don't even think about it, six gun, weighin a ton,
10 paces and turn, just for fun, son,
Up till sundown, rolling around,
See where the bad guys are to be found and make 'em lay down,
The defenders of the west,
Crushin on pretenders in the west,
Don't mess with us cuz we're in the (Wild Wild West)

We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West, come on

(Wild Wild West)
When I roll into the
(Wild Wild West)
When I stroll into the
We going straight to the Wild Wild West (the Wild Wild West)
(Wild, Wild West) whoo, uh
(Wild Wild West) ha ha ha ha
(Wild Wild West) uh Dru, Dru
(Wild Wild West) I done done it again y'all done done it again
(Wild Wild West) ha ha ha ha
(Wild Wild West) Big Will, Dru Hill, uh
(Wild Wild West) Big Will, Dru Hill ha ha ha ha
(Wild Wild West) *the Wild Wild West*
(Wild Wild West) uh
(Wild Wild West) one time
(Wild Wild West) uh,
(Wild Wild West) *the wild wild west* bring in the heat, bring in the
heat, what?
(Wild Wild West)
(Wild Wild West) uh can't stop the bumrush
*the Wild Wild* (the Wild Wild West)

 

[Midgard]

Something along these lines (minus Dr. Loveless) could have happened (albeit earlier than in the time period movie was supposed to be in) if the history of Napoleonic wars went differently... let's presume around 1810 or so Nappy decides that the best thing to do is to consolidate his holdings, and to sit tight, instead of going on further adventures. For the next few years, the warfare between the French and the British-led alliance is sporadic, however, the British still impress American sailors into service to counter their lack of manpower for the fleet.

The Americans, like in OTL, are rather angry about it, and under Madison's presidency decide to have a go at it with the UK. The problem is, by this time Nappy was able to patch up the relations with the rest of Europe just enough to where there is some sort of a cease-fire in effect. Thus, the British are able to use much more troops in the War of 1812 (or its equivalent), and eventually, they prevail, with foreseeable consequences. Thus, no more 13 colonies. The rest of what would have been parts of the US is snatched by the various powers, local and European, with the European warfare being limited in nature and resolved mostly in the Americas.

Suppose the U.S. is overcome by an alliance of Euro powers (rather by a super spiderrobot as in the movie), and they divvy up the states amongst themselves as in the movie (and in the insufferable Empires Earth TL on AHTG). Could the following scenario happen?

"Great Britain gets back the thirteen original colonies...minus Manhattan. Florida and the Fountain of Youth go back to Spain! Texas, New Mexico, California, Arizona revolve a Mexico! The Louisiana Purchase reverts back to the King of France! And a tiny piece for me to retire on..."
- Dr. Loveless, to representatives of the above-named foreign powers

I read the script for the film. I'm not sure if it's elaborated in the movie itself, but the Native American fellow who appears with braids in a suit is a representative, and his people get Manhattan. Presumably he's an Iroquois. Personally, I would have created a buffer state for the Five Nations between Lousiana, Mexico, and Spanish Florida. Plains Indians? Let 'em live in Canada, which gets the upper tier of Washington territory. Maybe Russia gets a piece of California. But that should be the limit of Euro powers who were involved in the U.S. I hated it in Empires-Earth when Germany got California "because the immigrants requested aid." That TL has a too-casual dismembly of North America, South America, and the democratic world. Finally, China should get San Francisco, maybe as a freeport to the Western powers.

Maybe this belongs in the ASB forum.

 

[Max Sinister]

Maybe after the Napoleonic wars, the five or six European powers (Britain, France, Spain, Prussia, A-H and Russia) agree that no republic may ever try to disturb the holy monarchist government system (since god wanted it that way, as we all know). So they decide to take out the strongest surviving republic, i.e. America. As soon as their populations & economies have recovered enough, they transport their troops to Canada and attack simultaneously. (Of course, that should happen in the 1820s, at last, or else they US will have grown too big.)

 

[Faeelin]

Maybe after the Napoleonic wars, the five or six European powers (Britain, France, Spain, Prussia, A-H and Russia) agree that no republic may ever try to disturb the holy monarchist government system (since god wanted it that way, as we all know). So they decide to take out the strongest surviving republic, i.e. America. As soon as their populations & economies have recovered enough, they transport their troops to Canada and attack simultaneously. (Of course, that should happen in the 1820s, at last, or else they US will have grown too big.)

No offense, but for Britain to suddenly go from being a Constitutional Monarchy interested in the Balance of power to an autocratic despotism bent on conquering America for the benefit of France and Spain would strain even the ASB's.

 

[Ivan Druzhkov]

I dunno. I'm not entirely certain of the willingness of the British to go back into the United States. After all, this is the first half of the 19th century, so there's still going to be strong memories of the brave Continental boys blasting away at the Redcoats at Lexington and Concord, and the British still remember how the Americans like to fight.

As for the west coast and the Midwest, that area has been settled too extensively, so some trade in ownership might be possible. I don't think the Russians or the Chinese would be terribly interested, though. The Russians were more interested in Central Asia that any of the American territories (too far away from St. Petersburg, and nothing but more bloody tundra). As for the Chinese, the Qing monarchy seemed to try their damnedest to pretend that there was no world outside the Middle Kingdom.

By the way, I saw this movie on TV a few months ago. I'd forgotten how horrible it was. Still curious about that "steam-borg" boiler worker, though.

 

[Thande]

I've done a timeline with a British-German-Spanish-Mexican conquest of the USA in 1898. I don't think the Americans became unconquerable until after the Spanish-American War, when they got an army as good as their navy and began to venture out from under the British sphere of influence. Admittedly though in TTL the B-G-S-Ms have assistance from an ASB - a time traveller who wants to stop U.S. hegemony. This time traveller, who arrives c. 1890, also gives hints about tanks, the Boer War, etc., but tries to hold back atomic research because he is anti-nuclear. Because the B-G-S-Ms know exactly how the Americans will deploy their forces in the Spanish-American War, they try to avoid disturbing the timeline as long as possible (a la "The Guns of the South") and then manage to trap and destroy most of the US army, leaving only scattered rebels.

Here's a map of the partition (c 1920 after new governments have been finalised):

 

[Thande]

By the way, 'Dominion of Dixie' started out for a nickname for the prototype Dominion of Georgia, but stuck; and I know it's a bit odd for the Mexicans not to get California, but the Germans insisted on getting Heiliger David (San Diego) as a naval base.

 

[Strategos' Risk]

I used to think that the movie tried to cram in as many different races/cultures on the Wild West as possible, especially when the Borg man mentions that he learned martial arts "from a chi***an", until I realized that the Indian arms agent was Indian on purpose.

 

[Historico]

You know It would be interesting to see the nations carved out by an Dr. Arliss Loveless like figure, utilize his technology(HIs Steam Tank, Artie's Plane, and the Spider Steam Mech, Cyborgnetics) when consolidating their gains in Americas. Would the Americans take to the far technologically advanced foreign rulers or still find someway to rebel?