Chrononauts - The Flip Side

Albert
1905 was a good year
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Snooping around the archives of the Swiss Patent Office, he found a dusty box. He thought the only copies of these were lost in a fire in America. His jaw dropped at one yellowed page: "U.S. Patent No. 1: Crumple’s Original No-Wax Time-Traveling Apparatus". He smiled surreptitiously, "This will be my little secret".
 
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I wrote this one in the style of a 55-word nanofiction, like how all the Chrononaut ID cards are written. The game designer Andy Looney is a fan of these. "U.S. Patent No. 1" is the title of another time travel board game; in it you're a time traveler trying to go back to 1790 to patent the time machine. The named apparatus is from a card in that game.
The US Patent Office burned down in 1836, so we can't say for sure that the first patent wasn't a time machine. Yes, I am implying that this is where Einstein got his ideas in OTL, too. He just that in this timeline with the booming European economy, he left the academic track to take the business route.
 
I have a real post in the works, but I decided I want to adopt a lot of material from another fan based timeline called Canadian Chrononauts, and it's best if you see that before my next posts.

Short and sweet summary:

  • Maritime provinces confederate, leaving the Province of Canada out of the confederation, at least at first
  • Stanley Cup goes to football instead of hockey, and this has major effects on history
  • Louis Riel stays alive for more adventures
  • U.S. gets Columbia Territory
  • Quebec secedes in 1996
  • More nuclear weapons
  • Newfoundland goes back to Britain
  • Lots more native territory
My apologies to Canada. It's bad enough that Chrononauts took away the burning of DC in 1812, then McDuff decided to take away a lot of Canadian Territory. I happen to like a big strong Canada, so I'll try to make up for it by spending more time on Canada and giving them a space program. Brady Kj already gave them Alaska.


Chrononauts color code:
(Black text indicates canonical events from Looney Labs and events from various fan works. These explicitly happen when all linchpins are inverted, and occur in the following source:
CC: Canadian Chrononauts by William McDuff https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/357231/canadian-chrononauts
(Blue text indicates events that occur in some timeline in the multiverse, but may or may not occur in this timeline.)
(Gray text indicates events that do not occur in this timeline, but they do occur in OTL or another timeline in the multiverse.)
(Pink text indicates ideas that are not considered official yet. They may have been extrapolated from OTL, or only semi-seriously posed by someone on this thread.)


1812: Brock loses at Queenston Heights (fan CC)
X- 1864: Canadian politicians talk about confederating (fan CC)
1864: Maritime politicians talk about confederating (fan CC)
X- 1867: Canada confederates (fan CC)
1867: Maritime confederates (fan CC)
1869: Newfoundland joins Maritime Confederation (fan CC)

X- 1870 Mar 4: Riel executes Scott (fan CC)
1870: Riel exiles Scott (fan CC)
X- 1871 July 20: British Columbia joins confederation (fan CC)
1871: Cascadia becomes 38th State with north border at 54 40 (fan CC)
X- 1873: North-West Mounted Police formed (fan CC)
1873 ongoing: Northwest Territory still dangerous (fan CC)

1885: Louis Riel pardoned (fan CC)

1893 : Lord Stanley donates Cup to football. Stanley thinks rough and tumble three downs is superior to American version (fan CC)
X- 1896 Aug 16: Gold discovered in Klondike (fan CC)
1896 ongoing: Northern Canada dominated by Natives (fan CC)
X- 1899 ongoing: Boer War manned by volunteers (fan CC)
1899: Canada drafts troops for Boer War (fan CC)

X- 1903 Jan 24: Hay-Herbert gives Alaska Panhandle to U.S. (fan CC)
1903: Hay-Herbert extends B.C. coast (fan CC) (apparently, B.C. is a province or territory whose southern border is 54 40. I wouldn't object to renaming it)
1905: Borden creates province of Buffalo, rejecting the two-province plan to create “Alberta” and “Saskatchewan”(fan CC)
X- 1909: Captain Bernier claims Arctic islands for Canada (fan CC)
1909: Northern Canada dominated by Natives (fan CC)

1926 Jun 26: King-Byng affair either doesn't happen, or happens differently (fan CC)

X- 1932 May 26: Co-operative Commonwealth Federation founded in Calgary (fan CC)
1932: Angry farmers march to Ottawa (fan CC)

X- 1949 Mar 31: Newfoundland joins Canada (fan CC)
1949: Newfoundland, British Colony (fan CC)


1955 Jan 1 – Feb 22: Quebec Winter Carnival successful (fan CC)
X- 1955 Mar 17: Riot erupts over hockey player Rocket Richard (fan CC)

X- 1961: Medicare passes in Saskatchewan (fan CC)
1961: Canadian Medicare fails (fan CC)
X- 1968 Apr 6: Trudeau voted Canadian Liberal leader (fan CC)
1968: Winters voted Canadian Liberal leader (fan CC)

X- 1970 Oct 17: Trudeau enacts martial law (fan CC)
1970: Stanfield increases nuclear stockpile (fan CC)
X- 1972 Sep 28: Canada wins Summit Series (fan CC)
1972: Russia wins Summit Series (fan CC)

X- 1980 May 29 : Quebec votes No (fan CC)
1980: Quebec rebels (fan CC)
1982: Canadian patriation deal falls apart (fan CC)

X- 1990 July 11: Violence erupts near Oka (fan CC)
1990: Mohawk Nation established near Oka Quebec (fan CC)
X- 1995 Oct 30: Quebec votes “No” again (fan CC)
1995 Oct 30: Quebec secedes (fan CC)
X- 1999 Apr 1: Nunavut Territory created (fan CC)
1999: Canadian territories secede (fan CC)

X- 2008: Conservatives prorogue Canadian Parliament (fan CC)
 
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Oh, and while we're at it, I also like CMU Chrononauts all about the history of Carnegie Mellon University tcgs.alanv.org/chrononauts.html. It's a funny timeline. I consider the whole thing canon for the purposes of this thread, but very little of it is relevant to national and world history.


In summary,
  • The college is called Carnegie-Phipps College, because Carnegie and Mellon never merge.
  • It has very low academic standards, to the point that many of its departments are confused about the definition of their field
  • Carnegie Phipps is good at a couple things: history, botany, band, and most importantly sports
  • Carnegie Mellon (not Carnegie Phipps) develops intelligent AI in the future
We can assume that everything in there is part of this timeline, but very little of it is notable. Here are the notable bits.

Chrononauts color code:
(Black text indicates canonical events from Looney Labs and events from various fan works. These explicitly happen when all linchpins are inverted, and occur in the following source:

CMUC: Carnegie Mellon University Chrononauts tcgs.alanv.org/chrononauts.html
(Blue text indicates events that occur in some timeline in the multiverse, but may or may not occur in this timeline.)
(
Gray text indicates events that do not occur in this timeline, but they do occur in OTL or another timeline in the multiverse.)
(Pink text indicates ideas that are not considered official yet. They may have been extrapolated from OTL, or only semi-seriously posed by someone on this thread.)


X- 1914: Carnegie Tech founds Drama Department (fan CMUC)
1914: Carnegie Tech founds Astrology Department. Despite Pittsburgh pollution, department wins prestigious awards. (fan CMUC)

1939: Carnegie College's Industries Hall is converted to a steel factory (fan CMUC)

X- 1956: Carnegie Tech's School of Computer Science founded (fan CMUC)
1956: Carnegie Tech's History Department expanded. Donation from anonymous source helps department reach international acclaim. (fan CMUC)

X- 1967: Carnegie Tech acquires Mellon Research Institute (fan CMUC)
1967: Carnegie Tech acquires Phipps conservatory. Purchase leads to botany major. (fan CMUC)
X- 1968: Carnegie Tech changes name to Carnegie Mellon University (fan CMUC)
1968: Carnegie Tech changes its name to Carnegie-Phipps College (fan CMUC)
X- 1969: CMU founds Mellon College of Science. Science programs strengthened. (fan CMUC)
1969: Carnegie Phipps College founds Phipps School of Botany, which gains world recognition. (fan CMUC)

1982 (Spring semester): Explosion at Carnegie-Phipps's Industrial Hall. Many students killed, including business student David Tepper (fan CMUC)
1988: Carnegie-Phipps Nessies are NCAA champions. Campus athletics continue to improve. (fan CMUC)


X- 1999: CMU opens West Coast Campus (fan CMUC)
1999: Stanford opens East Coast Campus. Strong CS department prompts expansion into Pittsburgh, PA (fan CMUC)


X- 2004: David Tepper donate millions to fund university's business programs
2004: Dr. Pepper Co. donates to fund chemical engineering programs
2008: Carnegie-Phipps builds Archaeology Center, prompted by discovery of dinosaur bones beneath campus. (fan CMUC)

X- 2022: Carnegie Mellon develops Plaidbot, the first true artificial intelligence (fan CMUC)
 
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The Lives of the Presidents
Sarah Palin

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Early Life
Sarah Louise Heath was born in 1964 in the small town of Sandpoint in eastern Washington. As an infant, she moved with her family to Cascadia, and later graduated from high school in Salmon Arm, Cascadia. She enrolled in Miami University in Ohio, later transferring to Daytona Beach State University in Florida, Winnemucca Community College in Nevada, Carnegie-Phipps University, University of Fraser Valley in Cascadia, and East Washington University in Moscow, WA. She graduated from EWU in 1986 with a Bachelor of Science degree in communications. After graduation she ran a popular local radio show called The Moscow Washington Hotline, in which she discussed current events with callers. She moved back to Salmon Arm in 1988 to take a job as a sportscaster for the local ABC affiliate KROE. During this time, she married her high school sweetheart, local fisherman Todd Palin.


Palin first ran for city council of Salmon Arm in 1992, and became mayor in 1999. She was highly regarded for her successes in reducing government waste, and was selected as president of the Cascadia Conference of Mayors in 1999.


Governorship
In the early 2000s, Al Gore's administration passed several environmental regulations that were deeply unpopular with people working in the energy industry. In Cascadia, many in the oil industry were finding it harder to get and keep stable work, and were increasingly angry about it. Palin ran for governor in 2002, promising to preserve Cascadian jobs, clean up government waste, and make major ethics reforms. Throughout her first term, she succeeded at all these goals, and was regarded as the most popular governor in America.


During the John McCain/ Elizabeth Dole presidential campaign in 2004, Governor Palin was chosen to be the keynote speaker at the party national convention in 2004. Palin criticized Al Gore's environmental policies as a misguided attempt to choke the American economy. She said he was weak against the Soviet Union and especially Al Qaeda, stating that it was an embarrassment that it took a whole year after 9/10 to capture Bin Laden. As a young, relatable, popular DC outsider with a proven track record, she was seen as a breath of fresh air to a party that was running two 68-year-olds on its ticket. After President Gore won re-election, conservative media outlets buzzed about the possibility of Governor Palin running for president someday.


Presidential Campaign
In June 2007, Palin announced her intention to run for president. During this campaign the nation was seeing deep partisan divides. Many voters found her relatable, as an everywoman untainted by federal politics and appreciated her straight-talking common sense approach to policy. She faced harsh criticism for being unprepared to lead on the national stage, and for a naive approach to foreign policy.


In Cascadia, Governor Palin was becoming increasingly entrenched in multiple ethical scandals. The most damaging accusations against her were that she pressured state employees to fire her ex-brother-in-law for personal reasons, and that she forced some members of her staff to resign over it. Palin insisted they were all the allegations were frivolous politically motivated attacks against her.


Some criticized Palin for continuing her campaign after she gave birth to her disabled son Trig. Palin responded by saying that she had the best husband in the world, who took excellent care of the family as First Dude of Cascadia, and who would continue to excel when he's First Dude of the United States. She said in this day and age, a woman cannot be criticized for trying to do what's right in the workplace, for her country, and for her family. In her words, "A mama bear can take care of her cubs, and still go out there when it's a tough year and there's not a lot for Americans to forage and fight corrupt DC politicians."



Presidency
On November 4, 2008, Palin made history as the first woman elected president in a bitterly polarized election. Her first action as president was to undo Al Gore's executive actions regarding environmental policies. Throughout her presidency, she faced opposition from both houses of Congress. Her scandals from Cascadia continued to haunt her, and she spent millions of dollars in lawsuits. Many members of Congress said that she should be impeached and removed from office like Richard Nixon, but it never reached that point.


Resignation
On July 3, 2009, Palin announced that she would resign from office. She said she was spending most of her time addressing absurd lawsuits, and that it was a waste of taxpayer money. She said, "I'm not putting America through that. It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out". On July 26, she was succeeded by her vice president, the former Cuba Congressman Sean Parnell.
 
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Discussion question: What do you think the political parties will be like in this timeline?

I deliberately didn't say what party Palin belongs to, because I'm not sure they'd have the same parties we do.
  • Andrew Jackson is not famous, and maybe never got into politics. Do you think the Democratic Party would never be formed, or would Van Buren lead it on his own?
  • The Republican party could develop as OTL, but I don't know if after the Civil War they'd lose popularity from being blamed, or gain prominence by their opponents becoming another country. ( See The politics of the US after Confederate Independence?)

Later events don't change the names of the parties, but they do change the contemporary platforms. No Jim Crow laws, no New Deal, no Vietnam War, Nixon reaching out to black voters, legal marijuana.

Do you think it's plausible that in modern times there is a party called the Democrats with people like Al Gore and Barack Obama, and a party called the Republicans with people like George Bush and Sarah Palin? If not, what parties are likely to be there instead? Whigs, Federalists, Unionist, Progressives, Socialist?
 
The Article Eleven Society


Article Eleven Society (French Société de l'Article Onze) is the name of two distinct movements advocating for Canada or part of Canada to join the United States. The movements were named after Article Eleven of the U.S. Articles of Confederation, which says that Canada may unilaterally decide to join the United States without the usual obstacles to statehood.


The first Article Eleven Society, 1867-1901


The original Article Eleven Society was founded in the 1860s, and billed itelf as a group of Americans and Canadians believing it was in the best interests of the Province of Canada (consisting of modern day Quebec and Ontario) for them to join the United States. The Province of Canada had been hoping to acquire the Maritime colonies of New Brunswick, Prince Eduard Island, and Nova Scotia until they held the Charlottetown Conference in September 1864 to discuss the possibility of a Maritime Confederation. The British Parliament voted to combine the Maritime provinces into a dominion on July 1 1867. According to the Society, many in Canada felt betrayed by parliament, leading them to prefer joining the United States.


In actuality, the Society was overwhelmingly more popular in the United States than in Canada, with the Canadian membership being described as "two men in Montreal, and 10,000 invented names". The de facto leader of the Article Eleven Society was congressman Nathaniel P. Banks of Massachusetts. In the aftermath of the War of Southern Secession, many Republicans were in favor of annexing Canada. It is still debated how much of this was to make up for lost territory and how much was macho posturing to gain votes from the anti-English sentiment of Irish Americans.




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Nathaniel P. Banks, congressman who advocated annexing Canada​




The Article Eleven Society even sent a copy of an annexation bill to the premiers of Canada to sign. It is said that the Premier of Canada East, Sir Narcisse-Fortunat Belleau, had never heard of the Article Eleven Society until they gave him an annexation bill to sign in 1869. He reportedly did not react well, for he admitted that he "may have said fuddle duddle or something like it."


The Article Eleven Society declined in influence in Congress, but continued to have a small active membership for decades to come. In the end, the point was moot when the British Parliament passed the Canada Act of 1901, merging Canada into the Maritime Confederation.
 
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The modern Article Eleven Society, 1988 - 2002


Unlike the first Article Eleven Society, which was an unorganized movement, the second one was a functioning political party in Quebec. It was founded in 1988 by Serge Talon, who argued that Quebec was the legal successor to the Province of Canada and could join the United States at any time. At first it was not taken seriously, and in the 1989 election it polled even lower than the satirical Lemon Party. The party was officially dissolved for a time starting in 1990.


Once Quebec had gained its independence from Canada in 1995, Serge Talon formally recreated the Article Eleven Society. During this time of change, Quebec citizens were open to radical changes, and the Article Eleven Society actually gained some seats in the Quebec Parliament during the 1996 elections. Quebec Prime Minister Lucien Bouchard would not allow any discussion on the annexation by the U.S.


By the time of the 2001 elections, Canada called for an end to its monetary union with Quebec. The Bloc Quebecois lost their majority in the Quebec Parliament, being replaced by a Liberal-led coalition government containing a substantial number of members of the Article Eleven Society. The Quebec economic situation was projected to decline to the point that two toonies would be worth a loonie. Serge Talon's message of joining the United States was increasingly well-received by the people of Quebec.


The Americans heard the message as well and took swift action. In 2002, President Gore signed into law the Thirtieth Amendment, repealing Article Eleven in its entirety, and declaring that Canada, Quebec, and their parts cannot join the U.S. unless they have the express invitation of the United States. Senator and former Beatle John Lennon referenced two of his songs, saying "It's time for Quebec to start moving to Canada. All we are saying is give reunion a chance." The Article Eleven Society soon disbanded, and its M.P.s joined other parties. The Bloc Quebecois became the majority party again, and Lucien Bouchard regained his seat as Prime Minister of Quebec.
 
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I hope everyone likes the posts on the Article Eleven Societies. Last week, I was reading the Articles of Confederation (like ya do if you read AH.com), and I realized that it has some fun interactions with the events of Canadian Chrononauts. I think it's my most original post on this thread yet.

Nathniel P. Banks really did suggest annexing Canada, but his Annexation Bill never went to vote. Please have a look at that wiki page; it has a cool map made by AH.commer Rubberduck3y6, related to one posted on Map Thread XIII and on Deviant Art. There were a surprisingly large number of movements for all or part of Canada to join the U.S., most significantly in 1849.
 
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Area 51, secret military base hidden in the Las Vegas Wildlife Sanctuary
July, 1948. One year after the gigantic cockroaches crash-landed their flying saucer near Roswell, Arizona.

Harland Sanders stood in the meeting room in front of the slide projection, wearing his finest dress uniform and holding his finest pointing stick. This briefing was so top-secret that only person allowed to be briefed was the Director of the Federal Bureau of Intelligence. The director was not paying Sanders any attention. Sanders firmly believed that as the military officer in charge of the Area 51 deserves, he more respect than this. And Sanders was especially proud of the presentation’s current slide, which contained the words “SECRET RECIPE” and a photo of a cockroach. Very tasteful.

“So you see, Mr. Dillinger… Thanks to the translation efforts over the past 12 months by my own Project: SECRET RECIPE, we have managed to decipher the language of the cockroach-like beings that crashed near Roswell, Arizona, and discovered the most incredibly, unbelievably, unfathomably shocking –”

John Dillinger raised an eyebrow. “The most incredibly shocking what?!” shouted the director to the general in charge of Area 51. “Spit it out, Col. Sanders”

“That’s uh… General Sanders, Ol’ boy!” He pointed at the star on his shoulder. “Brigadier General Harland Sanders. Now, as ah was sayin’ –”

“Well, spit it out” Ironically, Dillinger was spitting little bits of chicken as he said that. There was a very short list of things Harland Sanders detested: 1) People who talk with their mouth full. 2) Impatience. 3) The FBI. 4) Men with goatees. FBI director was all four of these And he brought into Sanders’ base – into his sanctuary – the fifth thing Sanders despised, what he detested more than anything else. Chicken! Uggggh! Chicken! Dillinger was holding a literal bucketful of the stuff in his lap, like some yokel, while his feet were on the meeting room’s freshly polished table. And the chicken was flying out his mouth at Sanders’ own face!

Sanders: I say- I say – I say I say I say now! Watch where yer pointin’ that mouth now!” Sanders pointed his pointing stick at Dillinger’s face. It hit Dillinger right on the nose.

Dillinger stood up, took another bite of the chicken, and put his face inches from the General’s. “You need to get to the point, Harland! I got the entire FBI to run, and I been sitting here for an hour and we’re only on the second slide!” Sanders considered informing Dillinger that he only had the time to make two slides for the presentation, and was winging it for most of this meeting. Then he decided this wouldn’t win him any favor.

“Well, ya see, sir, I ahhh…”

“I’ve known congressmen less winded than you, Sanders! You confederates talk so slowly and for so long before you get anything done. And you think slow, too! No wonder it was so easy to take your country over.”

Sanders puffed out his chest. “I am a Kentuckyan!” Dillinger stared at him for a minute or so, trying to figure out what that has to do with anything. He decided to drop it. “My point is, I got the entire FBI to run so I need to skedaddle. You need to show a little respect. I put J. Edgar Hoover behind bars and shot Melvin Purvis! But you’re just wasting my time! I don’t know anything about your spacemen that I didn’t know yesterday.”

Sanders wiped the chicken bits off his clean-shaven face. He took pride in cleanliness, and is simply not the sort who wants John Dillinger to spit chicken on his face. “That’s the thing, son. The cockroach folks ain’t space men at all.” He paused for dramatic effect. “They’re from the future, Mr. Dillinger. Their flying’ saucer is a bona fide time machine from sometime long after mankind has left this world.”

“Well, it’s not where they’re comin’ from that matters, Sanders, it’s where they’re going. What are they up to?”

“I don’t know, but one thing I do know for certain. We can’t let word get out to the Russians know that time travel is possible. If they learn to use this technology before us, the amount of destruction the commies can do to our way of life – it would be finger-lickin’ bad, if you’ll pardon my French.”

Dillinger stroked his goatee. “So we can agree on one thing. Our government’s top priority needs to be the prevention of knowledge of time travel from getting out! And it ain’t just Stalin. If anyone knows about it,” he held up a breast as a visual aid, and ripped it in half. “Then it’s bye-bye birdy!”

“Well said, Johnny.”

“The chicken breast represents us.”

“I got it, John.”

The two shook hands. Sanders didn’t even mind the grease and bits of chicken flesh squishing against his hand. Just for a moment.

That moment of hand-shaking got a little long. Sanders wasn’t too sure what to say, as he hadn’t anticipated wanting to be friendly toward John Dillinger. “Say, what’s in today’s paper?”

“Well, I don’t know. Let’s take a look here…” Dillinger leaned down at the paper, and then gasped. His goateed mouth went agape.

“What’s the matter, John? Chicken got your tongue?”

Dillinger silently held the D section of the paper up to Sanders’ face. The headline read

“WORLD FAIR HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE CAKE, TIME TRAVEL”

Sanders’ heart sunk into his chest as he read the article about the world fair display, with fairgoers able to write little notes to themselves and send them back in time. The columnist even described some of the mechanisms of the inventors used to make it work, and how an old lady from Russia was especially interested, and then the rest of the article was about how the cake was a bigger hit.

“TARNATION!!!” shouted Sanders. This is when the fist-fight broke out.
 
Area 51, secret military base hidden in the Las Vegas Wildlife Sanctuary
July, 1948. One year after the gigantic cockroaches crash-landed their flying saucer near Roswell, Arizona.

Wow, that is hilarious, Brady. Thanks for the great addition. I really like the alternate Harland Sanders and John Dillinger. I'd like this timeline to have a lot more of this comedic style.

I'm now imagining Hoover running a gang in the '20s and '30s with Little Mel Pervis as his right hand man. Unfortunately, they're too young to be smuggling alcohol into prohibitionist Confederacy like their predecessor Charlie the Crook Bonaparte.

Brady, have you decided whether the city of Las Vegas exists in this timeline? Since it depends so much on the Hoover Dam, it is easily averted.

Oh, and anyone else reading this, you are cordially invited to contribute anything long or short. This is your timeline, too. Any comment on how we're doing so far would be appreciated too.
 
I was thinking this world doesn't have the city of Las Vegas. I figured I'd be kind to the vegetation of Las Vegas Valley.

As for everything you wrote, my favorite is the article about the older Article 11 Society. 2 men and 10,000 invented names. I'm also a big fan o

I'm thinking Harland Sanders has a somewhat different personality caused by a very different childhood in which his father worked for a Kentucky military base next to the Confederate border. That's my excuse for Sanders calling himself a Kentuckyan while OTL's Colonel Sanders didn't live in Kentucky until the 1950s. John Dillinger, however, is still from Indianapolis. He's also very much the same person as OTL, just with a slightly different choice of career. The same goes for J. Edgar Hoover, hence why hes behind bars. Also, here's an interesting trivia point that I don't think anyone's ever noticed before me. It seems Harland Sanders was living in Indianapolis when John Dillinger was born... and when Dillinger was conceived. Coincidence?

Other things I like are the whole thing with the astronauts from the Twilight Zone. It's retrotastically written. And it makes perfect sense to switch things and give the Soviets one space agency and the US several competing ones.

And have I told you about my love for Tawaskote? Great map. Great location. And I like that Fargo's named Strathcona. Great name for a major metropolis. Since we're using a massive butterfly net, could we make Erma Vizenor a major figure in the nation? She's local.
 
I'm thinking Harland Sanders has a somewhat different personality caused by a very different childhood in which his father worked for a Kentucky military base next to the Confederate border. That's my excuse for Sanders calling himself a Kentuckyan while OTL's Colonel Sanders didn't live in Kentucky until the 1950s.

I showed your Area 51 post to my girlfriend (who, incidentally is the clever one who came up with the name St. Louisburg). She was stunned and wondered what awful thing happened to Harland Sanders to make him not like chicken. I'm glad you straightened out his life story.

Great map.
I didn't draw a map. Did you mean to say "Great flag", or "Great choice of geographic information"?

It's retrotastically written.

That's one of the highest compliments.

Since we're using a massive butterfly net, could we make Erma Vizenor a major figure in the nation? She's local.

Of course! Post whatever you want. I'm not familiar with her, so could you say something about her OTL life for the people who don't have time to google news articles about her. If it helps, you can assume that my Tawaskote writeup is some years out of date. I feel bad that between my listed "current" and "previous" speaker, one retired eleven years ago and the other died six years ago.
 
"Great flag". Words are hard.

Erma Vizenor is a constitutional reformer of the White Earth reservation. She was their chief for a few years until a few months ago. You can read the White Earth constitution sometime. It puts in place a supreme court and diplomatic powers of the chief, and it includes two advisory councils consisting of elders (55+) and youths (12-18, if memory serves). She's an outside-the-box thinker who's concerned with democratizing and stamping out corruption, and very concerned with Native Americans gaining autonomy in their lands.
 
Erma Vizenor is a constitutional reformer of the White Earth reservation.

And I know you like constitutions. What would you like to say about Erma Vizenor in Tawaskote?

Also, everyone else, you're free to comment on this topic or any others.
 
Friday July 2, 1948

_________________________________

Reno Evening Gazette
_________________________________


WORLD FAIR HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE CAKE, TIME TRAVEL


Berlin – The third month of the World Fair is turning out to be every bit as much of a success as the previous two months. The Einstein Industries Pavilion was opened after many delays. E.I. has kept its pavilion a closely guarded secret, and many speculated that it may center around an atomic generator or even a new line of electric appliances to give rest to the world's wives. The truth is just as incredible: Einstein Industries is demonstrating a working time machine. As a curious investigative reporter who had time to kill before my cake of the month appointment, I decided to learn how a time machine exposition of all things could be two months late.

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The time machine at the Einstein Industries pavilion. Photo courtesy of Einstein Industries.

The reader may be more familiar with time travel from such films as H. G. Wells's The Time Machine, in which Charlie Chaplin falls asleep to find himself in the old west where he falls in love with an Indian princess and has a clumsy duel with the corrupt sheriff. The reader may also have read the book of the same name, which I am told is slightly different. Real time travel works by means of an immobile electric apparatus the size of a chicken coop. E.I.'s Director of Research, the famous Dr. Albert Einstein, describes the time machine with characteristic obscurity, “The core mechanism is a new fundamental circuit element, analogous to the capacitor, which produces magnetic flux in proportion to an applied voltage. The laws of physics typically say that flux is built up by voltage and time, but with rapidly moving quantum particles, we can allow the capacitor itself to take the role of time in the equation, in effect, bamboozling physics. When a large enough voltage is applied, the capacitor breaks down, and the laws of physics find the only way to maintain consistency is to send the voltage source back in time a duration equal to the capacitance.”


Whatever Dr. Einstein meant by that, the time machine has its fans. A sweet Russian babushka named Evdokiya Orlova had this to say, “Einstein machine is years ahead of what we expect. Capacitor was big surprise. We would have made charge inductor instead. That seems simpler until parasitic leakage degrades signal. I will tell all colleagues in motherland.”


Mrs. Orlova certainly has an enthusiasm for science, but here in the United States, we don't have time for that egghead stuff. I found that the time machine did not make a satisfying demonstration. A curious spectator lines up at one end of the machine to pick up a letter from his future self in a sealed envelope. Then he stands in line at the other end of the machine to enter a message to himself on a special typewriter. Once he has completed this, he will open the envelope and find the messages are identical. During my demonstration, I decided to further the cause of science by peeking at my envelope ahead of time so that I could type something else on the typewriter. Unfortunately, this caused the time machine to jam. Dr. Einstein informed me in a most ungentlemanly manner, that the machine fails whenever someone tries to change the past. When the poky E.I. technicians finally repaired the machine an hour later, the lines were long enough that the machine could not send the messages back far enough, causing more jams. All in all, I would say the time machine is moderately interesting, and it's a good way to pass your time if you happen to be near the north gates anyway, if you don't mind the lack of professional courtesy.

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The wait staff at the Cake of the Month are happy to serve and never call their customers demeaning names.

Of course, the number one draw at the world fair continues to be the cake of the month. In stark contrast to the Einstein Industries pavilion, the cake serving staff is always helpful and willing to accommodate their customers' tastes. The Black Forest chocolate cake dominated discussion at the New Amsterdam World Fair in 1939 and it is no exaggeration to say it won Berlin the right to host its own fair. Before opening day in May, there was a line a mile long full of people who knew the same recipe would be used. In June they were heartbroken that the cake was replaced, but once they tasted the Chinese green tea cake, their spirits were lifted. This month, the culinary world tour is showcasing Mexico, and a rich creamy “Dulce de Leche Cake” that almost makes me want to move south of the border, except for the knowledge that the World Fair will present a cake from our great republic in a future month. There is still no telling what kind of cake will represent America, but I put a good word in for my wife's innovative “S'More Cake” recipe, involving chocolate, marshmallows, and Graham crackers. Unlike other pavilions, the cake of the month is something that will never disappoint.

Arthur W. Bailey​
 
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That is the most brilliant thing I've ever read! It's nearly perfect! The only thing making it fall short of perfect is that it should read "Wells' the Time Machine". The s's ending was more frowned upon back then, and would have been solidly a spelling error.

More importantly, I love that the journalist decided to compare the cake and time travel pavillions, and he screwed things up and ticked off Einstein. And that Time Machine movie is the best bastardization of a movie ever!

And where did those two pictures come from? And did you take the name Arthur W. Bailey from somebody OTL?
 
it should read "Wells' the Time Machine". The s's ending was more frowned upon back then, and would have been solidly a spelling error.

It's hard to know. Some style guides say that, but others only use that rule for classical names like "Jesus" and "Moses." I suppose if I were naming a movie back then, I'd avoid the issue entirely by calling it "H. G. Wells Presents The Time Machine"

While writing it, I was aware that I wasn't following newspaper conventions from 1948 or present days. It's very informal, it's mostly in the first person, and the sentences are not especially compact. But looking over it after the fact, it's surprising how well I avoided starting sentences with conjunctions, dangling modifiers, trying to ever split infinitives, and problems with the kind of words my sentences end with.

And where did those two pictures come from?

The machine comes from a Youtube video about the World's Fair in New York in 1940, possibly this video at its 5:52 point. While this picture is up, the narration says "with a demonstration of soybean processing and the making of plastics."

The waitresses are from A Food Tour of the 1939 World's Fair. I was trying to find black and white pictures of cake, but back in those days, people usually went a whole meal without photographing their food.

And did you take the name Arthur W. Bailey from somebody OTL?

I made up a name, then googled to make sure no one especially famous has that name. It took me more tries to make an old-fashioned Russian woman's name.
 
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Well, Bailey's clearly not the guy the newspaper hired to cover wars and things. He has a column where he covers fairs and things. That gives him some leeway in his writing style.

Question about your Titanic story. Is the Teslagram any different from a telegram, or is it the same thing named for its rightful inventor?
 
A Teslagram is a radio telegram. That is, a Marconigram named for its rightful inventor. Teslagram is so much better of a name, that it's almost like the name Marconigram was developed to taunt Tesla.
 
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