Alternate Football Scores

Yes, I'm still mad!

2011 DFB-Pokal Final, 21 May 2011
MSV Duisburg 10-0 FC Schalke 04

The final of the 2011 DFB-Pokal in the Olympiastadion of Berlin saw a Schalke defeat by the broadest goal margin that has ever occured in a final match in the history of the tournament. Despite being the clear favourite over the second-division MSV Duisburg, the Schalke squad gave an appalling display of inability and helplessness. With only eleven minutes into the game, they were already three goals and one man behind, after Duisburg's Olcay Sahan scored twice in the 2nd and 4th minute, and an additional penalty goal by Benjamin Kern seven minutes later that also saw the Schalke goalkeeper Manuel Neuer sent off the pitch for a professional foul against the Duisburg attacker and Austrian international Stefan Maierhofer. An excellent display of the reserve goalie Mathias Schober, who was substituted for the field player Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and who warded off uncountable of scoring chances, the MSV Duisburg was able to only score one more time in the first half, when Stefan Maierhofer scored a header following a corner kick in the 44th minute for the 4-0 halftime score. The second half started rather uneventful, with only few chances and the match generally cooling down a bit. This all changed however, when in the 51st, 64th, and 69th minute Schalke's Spanish international Raúl became the first player in the history of professional German football ever to score an own goal hattrick, expanding Duisburg's already comfortable lead even further to 7-0. Angry at himself, his tough luck, and the complete abandonment by his teammates, Raúl simply leaves the pitch without having been officially substituted by Schalke manager Ralf Rangnick. The 6-0 own goal, which was scored through a rather beautiful sideways bicycle kick that was meant to resolve a dangerous situation in the penalty box, was later honoured with the 'Tor des Jahres' award. A completely shattered Schalke side that had now clearly lost all will to play, could not prevent Duisburg from scoring three more times. The 8-0 was scored by Maurice Exslager (who was substituted only two minutes prior for Stefan Maierhofer) in the 75th minute through a volley shot from 35 metres distance, followed by the 9-0 in the 88th minute by Duisburg living legend Ivica 'Ivo' Grlic, who dribbled himself through six Schalke defenders to eventually net the ball in with a back-heel, tunnelling the powerless Schalke keeper Mathias Schober in an almost slapsticky manner. The last goal of the match was then scored by none other than Duisburg's own goalkeeper, the American international David Yelldell, who scored a penalty against his counterpart from Schalke in the first minute of the additional time for the final result of 10-0. After this historical match, Schalke's main goalkeeper Manuel Neuer, who had to watch most of the game from the stand, gave an interview in which he ranted at his teammates and various club officials, adding that he would be "glad to finally leave for Bayern München for the next season, not having to deal with anyone from this horrible [Schalke] club anymore".

Even worse than the display of the Schalke squad on the pitch was the behaviour of many of their fans in the city of Berlin after the match. While the Duisburg fans peacefully celebrated the historic victory over their archenemy and their first national title in the various pubs of the German capital, the Schalke fans started a rampage that would find its place in the history books as the worst football riot of all time. With thrown in shop windows and burning cars being among the rather moderate events, other incidents would give Schalke fans a horrible reputation for years to come. Shortly after the game, a group of extremely drunk Schalke fans climbed the Brandenburg Gate, proceeding to strip naked, urinate and defacate from the top, all while burning MSV Duisburg flags and other devotional objects and shouting almost unintelligible insults and obscenities towards fans of Duisburg, DFB officials, and the dispatched police officers. Videos of this incident would soon circulate all over the internet and eventually make its way into many German comedy shows. While miraculously nobody was seriously hurt in the three-day long riots, the Berlin police later estimated the property damage caused by Schalke fans all around the city TO BE IN THE BILLIONS.
 
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World Cup 1994 Qualifiers - Group 2

England
2-1 Netherlands

A tense affair saw England qualify at the expense of the Dutch. A somewhat surprising tournament saw England knocked out by Champions Brazil in the Quarter Finals. However, the FA saw fit to sack Taylor for the upcoming EURO's on home soil.
 
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1996 FA Cup Final

Liverpool
1-0 Manchester United

A lone goalfrom Ian Rush sealed the win for the so-called 'Spice Boys'. It was a fitting sendoff as it was his final game for the club. Manchester United bounced back, albeit with less intensity in the league.
 
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2013/14 FA Cup 4th Round

Manchester City 0-2 Watford

Two goals in the first half proved a blow from which the league leaders couldn't recover, and Watford pulled off the shock of the round. Their reward was to host an in-form Chelsea side in round 5.
 
The Special Interim One

2012 Champions League Final

Bayern Munich 2-0 Chelsea


(Muller '83, Robben '95)

Chelsea hearts were broken once again in a Champions League final, with Bayern's control of the match finally paying dividends late on; Thomas Muller headed in in the eighty-third minute, while a penalty in injury time sealed the match, despite several Chelsea missed-chances late in the game from Drogba.

Roberto Di Matteo departed as caretaker manager in the week after the game. Pep Guardiola proved unwilling to break his sabbatical, and so the club decided to controversially bring in Rafa Benitez as manager on a short-term year-long contract, hoping to bring out some of Fernando Torres' old form from his old boss.

Despite a furious response from Chelsea fans and a turbulent pre-season, Chelsea would go on to a deeply unlikely run of form in almost all competitions. In the league, few had predicted Chelsea would be title contenders that year; but Manchester City's dire form as Mancini lost the Etihad dressing room, and Robin van Persie's cruciate ligament injury in November, made them serious title-challengers by Christmas. Chelsea would go on to narrowly beat City to the title by April, and win the League Cup to boot, before an even bigger challenge loomed.

In the Champions League, Chelsea also found their form with an excellent run. An easy group stage launched them into a semi-final against Barcelona; Chelsea put the Catalan giants to the sword 4-0 on aggregate, setting up a final against none other than Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid.

A cagey affair, the final was disappointingly slow for the first half, despite a huge Chelsea presence at Wembley. However, in a stunning mirror of the previous year, Chelsea scored in the eighty-third minute from a Juan Mata free kick, before Mata secured his status as a Chelsea legend by slotting home a penalty in the eighty-sixth minute when Ramos brought down Oscar in the box, (Mourinho would angrily declare it to be a dive in his post-match interview) and then another in the nineteenth minute.

2013 Champions League Final

Chelsea 3-0 Real Madrid

(Mata, '83, '86 '90)

After winning the treble, Benitez, Chelsea's greatest manager to date, would engage in a job-swap with Mourinho; Mourinho became Chelsea manager once again, and Benitez manager of Real, still in pursuit of their tenth European title. Though while Benitez looks comfortable at the club where he began his coaching career, Mourinho's status with Chelsea fans looks to be under pressure as speculation about selling Mata to Real Madrid mounts....
 
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EURO 96 - GROUP A

England
4-0 Netherlands


An impressive victory for the host nation also benefited Scotland who went through on goal difference. Scotland then somehow defeated France 1-0 before falling to Czech Republic in their, so far, only Semi Finals appearance.
 
2012 Champions League Final

Bayern Munich 2-0 Chelsea


(Muller '83, Robben '95)

Chelsea hearts were broken once again in a Champions League final, with Bayern's control of the match finally paying dividends late on; Thomas Muller headed in in the eighty-third minute, while a penalty in injury time sealed the match, despite several Chelsea missed-chances late in the game from Drogba.

Roberto Di Matteo departed as caretaker manager in the week after the game. Pep Guardiola proved unwilling to break his sabbatical, and so the club decided to controversially bring in Rafa Benitez as manager on a short-term year-long contract, hoping to bring out some of Fernando Torres' old form from his old boss.

Despite a furious response from Chelsea fans and a turbulent pre-season, Chelsea would go on to a deeply unlikely run of form in almost all competitions. In the league, few had predicted Chelsea would be title contenders that year; but Manchester City's dire form as Mancini lost the Etihad dressing room, and Robin van Persie's cruciate ligament injury in November, made them serious title-challengers by Christmas. Chelsea would go on to narrowly beat City to the title by April, and win the League Cup to boot, before an even bigger challenge loomed.

In the Champions League, Chelsea also found their form with an excellent run. An easy group stage launched them into a semi-final against Barcelona; Chelsea put the Catalan giants to the sword 4-0 on aggregate, setting up a final against none other than Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid.

A cagey affair, the final was disappointingly slow for the first half, despite a huge Chelsea presence at Wembley. However, in a stunning mirror of the previous year, Chelsea scored in the eighty-third minute from a Juan Mata free kick, before Mata secured his status as a Chelsea legend by slotting home a penalty in the eighty-sixth minute when Ramos brought down Oscar in the box, (Mourinho would angrily declare it to be a dive in his post-match interview) and then another in the nineteenth minute.

2013 Champions League Final

Chelsea 3-0 Real Madrid

(Mata, '83, '86 '90)

After winning the treble, Benitez, Chelsea's greatest manager to date, would engage in a job-swap with Mourinho; Mourinho became Chelsea manager once again, and Benitez manager of Real, still in pursuit of their tenth European title. Though while Benitez looks comfortable at the club where he began his coaching career, Mourinho's status with Chelsea fans looks to be under pressure as speculation about selling Mata to Real Madrid mounts....

As interesting as it is, Chelsea wouldn't have been in the CL in 12/13 if they hadn't won it, as they finished 6th in the table. And if the Sun is anything to be believed, Drogba would have stayed had Chelsea lost...
 
Damn, I forgot that, you're right. I guess then that the POD, which I never mentioned of course, has to be that the 2011-12 season goes a little differently, and Chelsea finish top-four but are also more fatigued by the extra effort by the time of the final.

Yeah, that covers it. *whistles innocently*
 
8th March 2011:

Barcelona lead Arsenal 3-1 with 3 minutes left on the clock. Arsenal are down to 10 men. Wilshire and Bendtner break away from the Barca defence. Wilshire cuts back the ball to Bendtner who manages to control and shoot. His shot flies into the back of the net beating Victor Valdes. Arsenal score thier second of the match and are now on course for the semi-finals on away goals. Arsenal hold on and the referee blows the whistle ending the game. Barcelona 3-2 Arsenal. Arsenal go through on away goals, beating the best side in the world.

Then Arsenal beat Shaktar Donetsk in the Quater finals 2-1 away and 4-1 at home. Arsenal go on to face Real Madrid in the semi-finals, where they lose the home leg 1-2 and draw at the Bernabau 1-1 and Real Madrid go through to face Manchester United who blasted Schalke 6-2 in the semi-finals.

In the finals, Christiano Ronaldo's first match against his former team, Real beat United 4-1 with a brace from Ronaldo and goals Alonso and Karim Benzem. Wayne Rooney scored the consolation for United.

Real Madrid celebrated their 10th European Cup and Mouriho his third. Mourinho became the second Manager to win three European Cups and the first to win it with three different teams.
 
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2012: Champions League final:

Bayern 3:1 Chelsea

The match started with Bayern in control. In the 21st minute, Arjen Robben shoots and while Petr Cech is able to get a foot to the ball the ball goes into the net and gives Bayern the lead. With that goal Chelsea are chasing the game. The first half gets over with Bayern leading Chelsea 1:0. The second half is the same as the first but Chelsea are showing more attacking prowess. But in the 64th minute Robben and Ribery combine with Ribery getting Bayern's second goal. In the 81st minute, a Juan Mata cross is headed into the net by Didier Drogba. Chelsea have the goal and are seemingly mounting a comeback but the joy is short lived as just 3 minutes later Thomas Mueller is fowled in the penalty are and Robben steps up and slots the ball in the back of the net. It is Robben's 2nd and Bayern's 3rd. Bayern hold out to win the Champions League.


Euro 2012: Semi final 2

Germany 3:2 Italy

In the 12th minute, Jerome Boeteng crosses the ball into the Italian penalty area, it is palmed away by Buffon but it hits Barzagli's leg and goes into the net. It is Germany 1, Italy 0. In the 38th minute though, Balotelli gets a through ball from Montolivo and gets away from the German defence and slots the ball into the net. He celebrates by taking off his shirt which gets him a yellow card. Half time ends with both teams at one all. In the second half Germany keeps on attacking but Italy is solid at the back. The 67th minute, Germany conced a Free kick just outside the box. Pirlo calmly takes it and fires it into the back of the net. It seems as though the Italian curse has struck Germany again. In the 71st minute Klose and Mueller are introduced and in the 74th minute, Mueller hits a shot on target which is cleared by Bonucci but only as far as Ozil who passes it through to Klose who taps it in. Two all with 16 minutes to play. Just 5 minutes later, Ozil is again in the thick of the action and is brought down in the box. Ozil takes the penalty and sends the keeper the wrong way to calmly score. In the 82nd minute, Balotelli fouls Mats Hummels and gets a second yellow card and is sent off. With 10 men, Italy are unable to get any break through and thus lose the match. Germany finally beat Italy in a competition and are through to the final to face Spain.


Euro 2012 Final:

Germany 5:2 Spain

This was a rematch of the 2008 final.
The match beagn with Spain in full control of possesion and Germany on the counter. While Spain began well and seemed to be in control, the Germans struck first with Lukas Podolski's cross in the box bouncing of Pique's head and falling to Thomas Mueller who shoots the ball into the net. In the 41st minute, Germany win a corner which Spain are not able to clear and Mario Gomez scores from close range. At half time the Germans lead Spain 2:0. After half time, Pedro comes on for Fabregas while Iniesta switches position with Pedro. In the 57th minute Spain get a goal back with a Xabi Alonso cross from the centre finding Pedro who lays it on for David Silva to score from 18 yards. But in the space of the next 20 minutes Germany score 3 more goals with Podolski scoring from outside the box in the 62nd minute and a header by Mario Gomez from a corner in the 70th minute and Khedira scoring in a Goalmouth scramble in the 76th minute. In the 84th minute, substitute Fernando Torres scores due to a lapse by the German defence and it is the last goal of the match. Germany go on to win their 4th European Championship.
 
World Cup 1990 - Quarter Final Stage

Yugoslavia 0-0 Argentina
(Yugoslavia win 4-3 on pens)

Dragoljub Brnovic and Faruk Hadzibegic score decisive penalties (OTL they both missed handing Argentina victory) to send the Yugoslavs to the semi-final where they beat the hosts Italy. They play West Germany in the final where Darko Pancev scores a last minute winner to gain Yugoslavia their first World Cup. The victory sees a wave of euphoria and Yugoslav national pride at home which helps ease ethnic tension and dampen talk of war. Yugoslavia go on to win Euro 92 beating the Germans, once again, in the final. They are due to play in this years World Cup in Brazil where they are considered dark horses with players such as Edin Dzeko, Luka Modric, Aleksander Kolarov and Mirko Vucinic likely to be in the squad. :)

 
World Cup 1990 - Quarter Final Stage

Yugoslavia 0-0 Argentina
(Yugoslavia win 4-3 on pens)

Dragoljub Brnovic and Faruk Hadzibegic score decisive penalties (OTL they both missed handing Argentina victory) to send the Yugoslavs to the semi-final where they beat the hosts Italy. They play West Germany in the final where Darko Pancev scores a last minute winner to gain Yugoslavia their first World Cup. The victory sees a wave of euphoria and Yugoslav national pride at home which helps ease ethnic tension and dampen talk of war. Yugoslavia go on to win Euro 92 beating the Germans, once again, in the final. They are due to play in this years World Cup in Brazil where they are considered dark horses with players such as Edin Dzeko, Luka Modric, Aleksander Kolarov and Mirko Vucinic likely to be in the squad. :)

That is an interesting one!
 
Newcastle United 2-1 Chelsea

David Luiz was sent off after five minutes for denying a goal scoring opportunity and Demba Ba scored either side of Frank Lampard's second-half penalty. This result helped keep Newcastle's form going and they eventually finished third, even challenging for the title up until January. Newcastle finished a point ahead of Arsenal after a last-day win at Everton...which proved crucial, as a week later Arsenal were dropped into the Europa League due to Chelsea winning the Champion's League.
 
Newcastle United 2-1 Chelsea

David Luiz was sent off after five minutes for denying a goal scoring opportunity and Demba Ba scored either side of Frank Lampard's second-half penalty. This result helped keep Newcastle's form going and they eventually finished third, even challenging for the title up until January. Newcastle finished a point ahead of Arsenal after a last-day win at Everton...which proved crucial, as a week later Arsenal were dropped into the Europa League due to Chelsea winning the Champion's League.

Ah, I remember Demba Ba. Isn't he a benchwarmer now?
 
He is, now that George's lot have got him. Pity really, as we could have done with him to help Remy out now that Cisse is struggling to find out which goal he's aiming for... :(

Any more TL's involving the Toon? How about something involving Andy Carroll? ;) (I'm a fan of his).
 
One obvious one is Newcastle pipping Liverpool to 4th in 2004. Not only does it make Robson more likely to keep his position, but remember who won the CL the following year in OTL?
 
Any more TL's involving the Toon? How about something involving Andy Carroll? ;) (I'm a fan of his).
Carroll? I'm quite happy with the ridiculous sum we managed to get for him. The only way it could have been better is if Liverpool had decided to pay £35 million for Shola! Or failing that, Fat Mike could actually have allowed us to spend the cash. I don't think we've spent £35 million since then, let alone in the one window afterwards...
One obvious one is Newcastle pipping Liverpool to 4th in 2004. Not only does it make Robson more likely to keep his position, but remember who won the CL the following year in OTL?
I would pick the same year, but slightly different PoD. In the first leg of the UEFA cup final, Marseilles' Didier Drogba was kept quiet by Jonathan Woodgate. The next weekend, he was absolutely superb in a 2-1 victory over Ranieri's Chelsea at St James', but took a knock in the 78th minute and limped off. This is the PoD.

Back in Marseilles, Drogba manages to get away from Woodgate in a quick break to score one, but a Robert free-kick and opportunistic strike by Shearer are enough to send Newcastle into a final against FC Valencia in Gothenburg.

By the time 20th May rolls around, the mercurial Craig Bellamy is fit to line up alongside Shearer, Ameobi back on the bench. A hard fought match sees the Welshman score the only goal from open play, running onto a superb ball by Ambrose. Pierreluigi Collina shows admirable restraint with one Lee Bowyer, who could have been sent off if another referee had been overawed by the occasion. As it is, his clumsy challenge receives only a yellow. Under increasing pressure in the closing stages, a rare break by Newcastle sees Keiron Dyer brought down in the box. Shearer's penalty flies into the roof of the net, and guarantees the trophy is going back to Tyneside.

The disappointment of missing out on fourth to Liverpool* is promptly forgotten when Alan Shearer and Sir Bobby Robson collect the UEFA cup, the spiritual successor to the Fairs Cup held aloft by Bob Moncur back in 1969.

Oi! Freddy Shepherd! Try sacking Bobby now, you ignorant cock-end! :mad:

* Obviously, this could be butterflied, but I'm happy enough with a trophy, thank you very much.
 
The incredible one

17 January 2009
Chelsea 0-1 Stoke City (Delap 60)
Stoke City walked away from Stamford Bridge with a massive win after both Juliano Belletti and Frank Lampard missed chances late on. This proved to be the final straw for Roman Abramovich and he sacked Luis Felipe Scolari the following day. Guus Hiddink was brought in to try and recover Chelsea's season.

The response was instantaneous. A routine win over Middlesbrough was followed by a massive result in the title race when Chelsea became the first side to win at Anfield that season with a brace from Didier Drogba, despite a second-half effort from Fernando Torres reducing the arrears following the wrongful dismissal of Frank Lampard after 60 minutes. Hull City were also swept aside 3-0 at Stamford Bridge (which ultimately saw Newcastle escape relegation by the skin of their teeth) as Chelsea went on a run that saw them drop just two more points that season, enabling them to come up behind Manchester United and snatch the title after looking dead and buried. In the FA Cup, Ipswich, Watford, Coventry and Arsenal were all beaten before Chelsea defeated Everton in the final, but it was in Europe where the ripples were felt.

Having eliminated Juventus and Liverpool (which involved a spectacular win at Anfield), Chelsea obtained a creditable draw at the Nou Camp. The following Monday, Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo broke his ankle after tripping over a butterfly, and UEFA were forced to call upon a no-nonsense German instead. In an astonishing game, Barcelona conceded three penalties and finished the match with nine men, Henry and Messi were marked out of the game by Terry and Alex, Andres Iniesta was withdrawn after 50 minutes to try and limit the damage and Chelsea ran out 4-0 winners. (The icing on the cake for Chelsea supporters was the news that noted anti-Chelsea columnist Patrick Collins had been arrested for throwing a television out of a first-floor window.) Chelsea defeated Manchester United 3-1 in the final, avenging the defeat from the previous year.

After winning the treble, and writing himself into Chelsea folklore, Guus Hiddink stepped down at the end of his interim contract and Chelsea brought in Carlo Ancelotti. The Italian took Chelsea to a league and cup double, but their quest for a second Champions League trophy was thwarted by their former manager Jose Mourinho. Performances under Carlo Ancelotti eventually dropped, with 2 consecutive 3rd-placed finishes, and he stepped down in the summer of 2013 with Jose Mourinho returning to Stamford Bridge. Rumour has it that Roberto Di Matteo has learned a lot in three seasons as assistant to Ancelotti and Mourinho, and Newcastle are ready to approach him in the summer after an incident involving Alan Pardew and a Hull City player.
 
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