American King: Expanded Universe

Main thread: https://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=231767

Timeline ONLY: https://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=242963

The Official Wikia: http://americankingseries.wikia.com/wiki/American_King_Series_Wiki

The Official Website: http://americankingseries.webs.com/

Due to the now quite large amount of fiction writing by other board members, particularly Rooster Cogburn's Speeches of Duke DeRensis and Nevermore's Your Humble Servant: The Life of an American Governor-General, set in the American King: Take Two world, and its high quality, I thought it supremely worthy of a thread. It will allow the reading of these microfictions in one place, instead of dotting the main story thread (getting lost or forgotten) and keep them in a nice, convenient location for handy reference. If anyone wants to write something set in the AK world, they absolutely can, and if well-written will be official canon. I, the author of AK, will also likely post stuff here, like novel snippets and such.

Examples: Political Speeches, Constitutions, Declarations, Congressional/Parliamentary Records, "newspaper reports," short stories/novels set in the AK world, national anthems, etc.

Now, let's see some writing! :D

EDIT: Note - This is not a shared world and these aren't part of the main story (written only by yours truly), though they may influence or appear in it. I am the supreme evil overlord of AK and this is just extra fun that I can erase at any moment. ;)
 
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I didn't even realize there was a timeline only thread.

Of course, my good friend. I'm not going to have people dig through 50 pages of thread for the unnumbered chapters. :D In fact, they are sometimes slightly edited in the TOT, such as spelling errors and layout adjustment. And of course, it eventually makes its way onto the official American King website. Eventually. :p
 
“Ah yes, the Crown Party. They are said to be the largest and most popular political party in the country. But are they a party at all? They say as their main platform that they are 100% loyal to the king, under all circumstances. Now, I haven’t met a man that wouldn’t die for the king. By proclaiming their loyalty, they are merely stating an understood fact shared in thought by every Crown, Whig, Libertarian, and Anti-Masonic party member. The only difference is the Crown Party wishes blind loyalty to the crown, no matter what; like blind sheep following the shepherd, they would not think for themselves or make decisions to help the people. They would only be doing the King’s bidding. This is not a platform."

"They proclaim they are in favor of expansion. Expansion where, I must ask? East there is nothing but water. Expansion to the west? Do they wish us to go to war with Louisiana and Kaintuck, our greatest and most trusted allies? North, where we liberated the Canadian people, and purposely set up countries that would be with us through thick in thin? South, to begin another war with Georgia, in vein hopes to defeat and occupy them? Even further south, where once again we have nothing but allies, or do they wish war with Russia as well? They say they want colonies. Once again, I ask, where? We currently occupy North Africa, and it will take decades to even begin to integrate them into our society and stop the seemingly constant insurrection. I know; I’m the one who conquered them. These calls for expansion are ignorant and pointless. Like the first point, they merely wish to stir up patriotism in the people; but they are too smart to fall for such uneducated fallacies."

"And they wish the URAS to convert completely to free trade. Finally, an actually political belief; a flawed one, but a political belief none the less. Great Britain has been defeated in war. But despite this, they still have the largest and most powerful industrial base on the planet; every inch of British soil is filled by a factory. If we converted to free trade, our markets would be flooded by cheap British goods, and our local businesses and factories would be forced to slowly die of suffocation under these circumstances, and our workers would be pushed to pauper conditions because of it. After this, our country would be forced to get on our knees and bow down to British industrial might; it’d be like traveling back 50 years before the Great Revolution. And if not Britain, we’d fall under the sway of France, or Prussia, or any other European power. I speak for independence from our former European overlords! The URAS has a growing economy, and there is no doubt in my mind that in time it will come to rule the world. But it needs time to grow, to gain experience before being released into the world of free market capitalism. Protectionism will lead to free trade, and free trade will lead to our greatness. But starting with free trade at this time would only lead to economic slavery to the power of the Europeans."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Crown Party consists of nothing but blind support for any ruling monarch, endless war with any country on our border, friend or foe, and a flawed economic policy that will lead to our permanent subjugation. Support the Whig Party; the party of loyalty and patriotism with a conscience; the party of domination through negotiations and trade, not the bayonet and bullet; the party of American industry first and full independence from the wants and needs of the European powers. Long live the King, long live the URAS, and long live the century of the Whigs!”

-A speech in front of a large Philadelphia crowd in 1815 by then Pennsylvania Governor Hunter DeRensis
 
"Libertarians! I call out to you. Many question your loyalty to King Andrew. I do not. There is no doubt in my mind that Libertarians are as patriotic and America-loving as any Whig or Crown. You simply feel you need a guarantee of liberty under such a monarchy as we have. Now, I have known King Andrew for over a decade. Like I do not doubt your loyalty, there is no doubt in my mind that King Andrew would not subjugate you or take away any of our sacred rights. But I also know that the future is unpredictable, as many of you know. For the people who succeed Andrew, long may he reign, who knows what their disposition might be, or if they shall cherish liberty and freedom as much as our current King."

"And that is why I propose a Royal American Bill of Rights. Like its English cousin, this document, passed by our Congress and signed by Viceroy, Prime Minister, and King, would protect our three most basic human rights. A right to free speech, for if you cannot speak out for your own interests, the government you live under is not bearable, and is not fit for human beings to live under!"

"Freedom of religion, a right so hallowed and vital, yet so rare. Protestant, Catholic, Orthodox, Jew, Deist, Atheist, and all are welcome here. Let no bigotry enter our glorious shores, for that is something of the Old World, and does not belong in the New! It is your right to practice your beliefs as you wish, and there is no power on this earth that can interfere in that."

"A right to trial by law; also an important right among civilization. It’s your right to have a trial by a judge in a court specializing in the law; not a military tribunal in front of soldiers who favor the death penalty for stealing a piece of bread; not a kangaroo court where the punishment is already made before the trial; no. I call for a promise to a trial by law, one where if you are accused of wrong, you are innocent until proven guilty, and if you are indeed found guilty, it will be by an elder judge who had dedicated his life to justice, or a jury of your peers who rule by consensus."

"These three sacred, basic, and unassailable rights are what is due to you; both Libertarian, and all American people. Like there is no doubt in my mind that our great King Andrew would never interfere with these rights, there is equally no doubt in my mind that he would accept this Royal American Bill of Rights as a consecrated agreement between men and King to ensure the rights of the American people after his death."

"I know this is what you libertarians want! And I know this is what I want, and what every American deserves! I promise on the ground I stand that if I become Prime Minister of this country, this document will become the law of the land, followed in every part of land where our King’s power is held sanctified. I am the candidate of reform, of change, of the future! Support me and the Whigs, and Libertarians, you will have your guarantee of basic rights untainted by King’s whims now and forever!”

-Hunter DeRensis in an 1816 speech in Augusta, Maine in front of a mainly Libertarian crowd
 
"The Anti-Masonic Party is a leech, slowly sucking the life blood out of our society. They are conspiracy theorists, believing in what they don’t understand. Like a child that is told it is too young to understand something, they scream and moan and cry for the answer to this thing. In this case, the ancient Order of the Masons."

"If they should ever gain power, they would start an American inquisition! The Masons would be persecuted, on a level not seen in modern times. All true Americans bash South Carolina and its terrible and indecent crimes against humanity. But the Anti-Masonic Party, they wish to join them! No, not persecuting Catholics, not persecuting so-called witches, but persecuting the Masons! They drink from the hellish oasis of blood that all those who hate their fellow human beings drink, and not only that, they wish to shove that drink of blood down the throats of the American people, whether they like it or not! Masons would be hung from the tallest trees, and their kind would be put on jumped up charges in kangaroo courts, and executed based on the flimsiest of evidence, if any is there at all. And who says they would stop at Masons? What would stop them from coming after you? Or you? Nothing, under their plans."

"They accuse the Masons of secretly hindering the government, and slowly taking it over. Now I will say for those of you at a disadvantage, as a man who has met King Andrew and known him for many years, there is not a man or organization on this planet Earth that could control or manipulate him. But these anti-Masons, they have so little faith in the monarchy that they believe that it could be taken over by a mere secret club! Such treacherous feelings have never before existed at such levels since the crowning of the monarchy! They accuse our King of incompetence, and believe he would actually support their unfounded inquisition into our country!"

"The Anti-Masonic Party is a blotch upon the thus far pure white sheet of the United Royal American States. Do not enlarge that spot by turning to them in your times of need, when you are at your weakest, because I promise they will prey on you. Instead, help me rid the country of this stain and cleanse the cloth of American liberty! Anti-Masons, I reach out to you! Think of the choices you are making, and turn back from the abyss before it is too late!"

"I swear on my life that if I am chosen to be Prime Minister, no group shall be singled out and shunned or persecuted! No man shall be judged based on his religious beliefs or adherence to a certain group. In my administration, if you are good at your job, you will keep your job. I will not play to groups by betraying others, for we are all Americans. I am the candidate of reform, of change, of the future. Support me and the Whig cause, and I promise that all Americans will be equally protected against the harm and brutality that is being faced by those of South Carolina."

-Hunter DeRensis in a speech in 1816 in Metropotamia
 
The "Top Nation" Theory- Gwendoline Sinclair's theory, developed later in life, that there is at any time, at least one Top Nation, a nation that clearly is the boss, and that the Top Nation, must inevitably fall to stagnancy unless they are based on ideals, not imperialism. She views the URAS as a Top Nation, a permanent one. And the Seven Years' War as a fight between two potential Top Nations, Britain and France, which Britain ultimately won, and held the position until the Second Seven Years' War, in which America and Russia usurped that position, along with France.
 
“Today, when men speak of slavery, they are usually referring to negro servitude. Most men speaking of this topic are of the Equality Party. [Loud boos and shouts from audience] Now, now, I am not hear to talk about the Equality Party or the issue of slavery, if one even exists, which it does not in my mind. I am here to talk about a different kind of slavery: market slavery."

"Right now, our country stands in the every expanding shadow of Europe, which seeks to shroud all of us in permanent darkness. Despite years of war and hard work, our factories remain weak, and our people unskilled in the ways of manufacturing. Our European counterparts wish nothing more than to crush our great nation while we’re still an infant, and hold their iron heels on our throats till the end of days, slowly crushing the life out of our very souls!"

"And they will succeed unless we change our course immediately! We stand at the forefront of great possibilities for the future. Never before have a people been so blessed with prospects to have the world at their fingertips! Our country could rival the great Roman Empire if we act now! The American people stand at a crossroads; one way leading to free trade and permanent slavery, and the other leading to protectionism and liberty."

"If we continue with free trade, our markets will be swamped by cheap European goods, as they already are, and we will enter a period of economic stagnation, mass starvation, and anarchy! Children will collapse dead in the streets our of shear hunger, witch-hunts will burn holes into the fabric of our very society, and the monarchy will crumble at the hands of torch wielding revolutionaries! Now I wish for you all to picture our wonderful king Andrew I hanging from a tree in a Philadelphia park, hung there not from foreign invaders, but by his own subjects. That is a fate which nearly brings tears to my eyes, and a fate that should make men quiver and women weep at the prospective future for their children."

"But there is a glowing light at the end of the tunnel my friends, one that can uplift us from this dreadful future! A protective tariff! A barrier between us and the Europeans, to keep our markets safe, protect our labor from certain extinction, and make all American people wealthier than they ever dreamed possible! In time our factories will grow larger till they touch the foot of Heaven, and our workers will become the most productive and skilled on the face of the earth! The British will tremble in their boots at the very mention of our name, and no European power will dare question our supremacy, lest they face the consequences! Only a protective tariff can lead to this gleaming future my compatriots, while free trade will surely lead us down the dark path which I’ve already described."

"Who here thinks that if given the chance, Britain, France, or any of the other European powers will allow us to reach our full potential? [Crowd remains silent] Exactly! They will purposely keep our nation down in chains of economic steel, bolted to the floor on nails of free trade! And no amount of military force could change those simple facts. But with a protective tariff as our weapon, we can cast off the chains of oppression and overthrow our European slave masters and truly taste the air of freedom in our lungs!"

"Our nation was built for greatness. No other nation on this earth has the potential we do. A system as I propose would take the raw resources of the far north and west, the agricultural capitals of the south, and the industrial capacity of New England and the Mid-Atlantic states, and use them to their greatest capabilities. A system where we could develop our own products without the need of imports or foreign help. A system where our country was unstoppable from outside forces because of a word. A single word that is probably one of the beautiful and majestic phrases in the English language. Self-reliance! I dream of a self-reliant nation with no dependencies on a foreign power, who could change the world for the better with a single stroke of action, and who could lead mankind into a new era of industrial, moral, and intellectual advancement never before seen in the eyes of God!"

"When I am in old age, let me not see with my dying glances a country wrought with poverty and unemployment, plagued by revolution and uncertainty; instead let me see a great powerhouse of commerce, a nation built firmly on the standing of the supremacy of the law and the firmness of justice, led by a fantastic monarch crowned in the glory that is America! I ask you simply to make a choice in your lives! A protective tariff and infinite freedom, or free trade and certain slavery! I am the candidate of reform, of change, of the future. Support me and the Whig cause, and we will enter this era of prosperity together!”

-Hunter DeRensis in an 1816 speech in New York City
 
Ladies and gentlefops, I present the first parte of an ongoing episodic serial, set in the fantastic world of American King II:

The Revenge of Mister Mitchell


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Prelude

My name is Michael Mitchell, veteran of the Second Seven Years' War. During the Battle of Wehrley Ridge (October 4th, 1808), in Upper Canada, I was taken prisoner by a British regiment even though the Union of Royal American States won the battle. The disgusting dastards beat me up and threw me in a filthy wagon. Before I knew it, I was behind prison bars in Quebec City, in the middle of the harsh, freezing Canadian winter.

For five God-forsaken months I wrote to my beloved, Sarah Glasner, a beautiful flame-haired daughter of a wealthy Bostonian shipping baron. I thought she was the love of my life. Oh, how I was mistaken. During my time away in the army and subsequent imprisonment, she abandoned me. You can imagine my shock as an old friend from Boston, my hometown, told me about her when he was also captured. Our regimental commander, Major Desmond Battenfield--curse his name--had become her fiance, set to marry her in Christmas of 1809.

Battenfield was a sorry foppish wretch who had abandoned me at Wehrley Ridge. He could have traded me for one or two of our English prisoners like any decent commander would, but he hadn't. I realized that he didn't want to. Like King David setting up Uriah the Hittite to be killed so he could wed himself to Bathsheba, Battenfield wanted me out of the way.

It was time to take revenge. I was released when the war ended, October, 1809. One year of imprisonment. I was given some cash, some clothing, and told to hit the road. This was only the beginning.


ACT I

Michael Mitchell stepped out of a carriage. He breathed Boston air for the first time in over two years. Normally, a man would be happy to go back to his hometown after fighting in a war. Michael was not. One thought consumed his mind like the fires of Hell consume a soul: Desmond Battenfield and all his cohorts must die. Desmond walked through the streets, Christmastime snow covering the cobbles like powder on a Turkish delight. The buckled shoes that he had been given upon his release, formerly belonging to a British soldier, crunched over the icy winter frosting. The cold stung the lungs of most of the Bostonians out going about their business, but thanks to an obscene amount of time shivering in a Canadian prison, Michael hardly noticed it.

"Penny for an apple, sir?" bellowed a seller. Michael tossed him a coin and the man tossed the round, red fruit to Michael. Michael took a bite out of it an import from the Bahamas, most likely. Several children ran about the street, throwing snowballs at each other. Shouts of "Merry Christmas" greeted Michael, to which he only nodded. For him, Christmas would be anything but merry. All the local girls eyed him and the men stepped out of his way, for even his time in prison did not damage his masculine features. But he payed no attention to any of them. He just kept walking. Down, down, down the street. Citizen after citizen he passed, along with not a few green-clad URAS Marines. When he finally headed into Taft's Tavern he saw a nicely carved oaken sign which read: "No weapons allowed in or around Taft's Tavern, except swords." Michael felt the side of his jacket, which concealed a flintlock pistol. He planned on keeping it.

The former prisoner opened the doors to Taft's Tavern and stood there silently for a moment. An intimidating sight at 6 feet 2 inches tall, the other drinkers turned to look at him. Normally Oliver Taft, the tavern owner, would have one of his Cravat thugs (the Cravats were a local street gang and offshoot of the Sons of Liberty whose name referred to their wearing of light red cravats to identify themselves) search new customers for weapons, but they all backed off. Michael nodded mentally in satisfaction at their fear and went and sat down at the bar after grabbing a sandwich at the free-lunch counter. The sandwich was better than normal, as Taft was trying to get in the Christmas spirit.

The jovial, double-chinned man with a bushy beard walked over, which took a while since he had lost one of his legs in the war. His peg make creaking noises, almost as if his lard was going to snap it in two. Or maybe it was just the floorboards creaking. Either way, something sounded as if it was about to break because of his obesity. He waved a chubby hand and said, "Merry Christmas, gent, fine winter day, eh? Can I get you something?"

Michael looked up at him under the rim of his stovepipe hat. A look of recognition appeared on Taft's fat face, and his eyes grew wide. "Hello, Sergeant Taft," Mitchell said dryly to his old non-com.

Taft patted Michael on the back. "Bless me, by t'under! I never thought we'd see you again! It's good to see you, lad!"

"Go to Hell, backstabber," croaked Michael.

"Wha-what? Now why would ye wanta talk that way to me, yer old friend?" Taft understood why, whether he admitted it or not.

"You know why, Taftie. You were given orders by Major Battenfield to abandon me to the British so he could marry my fiance. You executed the orders that left me to rot for an entire stinking, miserable year in a damp, rat-infested Canadian misery box! You! You! And I've returned, and you shall pay for what you have done, backstabber!"

Taft's goons made ready to pull out pistols and swords, but Michael waved them down. "No," he said calmly, "I'm not going to kill him... right now." Then he turned his attention back to Taft, and enlightened him on the fate he had in store for the old sergeant. "Look, Taftie, I'm going to make you wish you were never born. I'm going to make you lose this business. I'm going to take away your family. I'll make you a penniless wretch. And then, I'll give you a gun. You know what you'll do with that gun, Taftie?"

"Taftie" shook his head very slowly, sweat pouring off it.

Michael told him: "You'll take that gun, and you'll load one single bullet in it. And then, you'll kill yourself. I won't kill you. I'll let you do it. You shall pay for your transgressions. You shall pay, backstabber."

Michael turned and walked out of the tavern, Taft shaking like a shell-shock victim.





 
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He didn't get me per se, but he got a lot of guys in my unit.
My marriage failed for fundamental reasons, not due to extramarital activities.

Anyway, your writing is excellent.

Oh. :p

Thank you, comrade. I haven't written novel style in quite the long time. I can do better, but this is a good warm-up. :D
 
This is your answer. :D

ACT II

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Michael crossed his arms behind his back as he stood in front of the window in his room at the Chapman Inn. Raindrops slowly cascaded from the sky and pelted the yellowed glass. The smell of tobacco smoke was heavy, not only from everyone who had the room before, but also from the two dapper-looking guests sitting at the table, both with pipes sticking out of the corners of their mouths.

"And so, gentlemen, I suppose you both know why I called you here?" he said, and turned around to face them.

One Mister Rutherford, a short, stocky, man with prominent black sideburns, poured a glass of brandy. "Why, yes, I do. Word of your little... episode... is all the rage on the streets. You've got Ollie Taft and his Cravats in quite a knot. They've 'put a hit,' as they say, on you for over 500 Royal Dollars." He took a sip from his glass, "And they have assassins likely looking at you through that window right now."

The other man, Jacob Hochstedler, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed German immigrant wearing a tailored suit like Rutherford's, blew a smoke ring and also started pouring a glass of alcohol. He added in a nasally accent, "Ja, Ollie is sveating his heart out. Ha-ha! His stranglehuld on tis neighborhood ist coming to an end. Und you, Herr Mitchell, can help us help you bring it to tat end, no?"

Michael smiled for what seemed like the first time in two years. "Yes, I can. The first step in my vengeance is to take away Taft's Cravat support, or take away the Cravats themselves, literally. Without them, I'm free to wreck his life. He won't dare report me to the authorities, for he is a criminal himself, and the police would surely find out. Yes, without the Cravats, I am free to do as I please. What say you, gentlemen?"

Rutherford stared at him thoughtfully for a moment. Then, he spoke: "All right, Mister Mitchell, the Toppers will help you. We've been fighting those uncultured Cravat swine for five years over control of this neighborhood. It's time to strike. We shall supply you with whatever you need."

Michael smiled again, pointed to his worn-out clothing, and said, "I'm going to need a suit..."

Later...

Mitchell walked down the lamp-lit street. His new cloak gave him a slightly devilish appearance, and his silver-handled cane made him look extremely wealthy. He removed his strovepipe hat and walked into the opera house. After all, he thought, nothing like taking in some music while you kill an old enemy. A few dozen other aristocrats were filing in to take their seats with the few hundred inside. Marcus Augustus Dickens and his entourage were in attendance, and while he occupied most people's attention, Michael hardly noticed. Instead, Mitchell was focused on one man, Corporal Anthony Belman.

Belman had been in on Michael's "Uriahism," and was a major player in the Cravats, and for that he was selected for assassination.

Handel's Messiah Chorus was blaring from the stage as a wild-haired conductor waved his baton around, seeming possessed by Handel's soul. Loud noise filled the auditorium and even shouting was hard to hear. Sure enough, just as Michael's Topper informants had reported, Belman was sitting in the front row, surrounded by adoring women.

Belman had always been known in the ranks as a ladies' man. Michael was going to use it against him. The vengeful former prisoner approached the nearest attractive woman, a blond-haired, cheerful-looking girl. He bowed and kissed her hand.

"Why, who are you?" she asked, wondering if she had met the courteous man before.

"I am... the Count of Princeton. It is a pleasure to meet you, madam," he made up a title to go with his luxurious clothes. "I wondered if you would like to sit with me, up in that box up there."

The girl already looked infatuated with him. "Of course! It would be an honor, Your Excellency!" she curtsied.

"Uh, but would you do me a favor and call over my old friend over there, Anthony Belman? We had some good old times in the past, and I would very much like to see him again, however briefly."

The young woman walked down to the front row and said what she was supposed to in Belman's ear. Curious as to what old friend it was, he followed, all the way up to Michael's box, which he had no idea had been paid for by the Toppers.

Belman felt an eerie sense of dread as he drew closer to the cloaked, hat-wearing figure sitting in a velvet chair. The fellow did not turn to greet him. He just sat there. The girl took a seat beside the "old friend."

Belman removed his top hat and stammered, "Um, hello? You said you were an old friend?"

Slowly, Michael rose and turned around, until he looked Belman straight in the eyes.

"My word, it's Mitchell!" exclaimed Belman. "It is so good to see you alive, comrade!"

Anthony outstretched his hand for Michael to shake. Instead, though, Michael lashed out and started crushing it in his hand. "Good evening, Corporal Belman! Long time no back-stab, eh?"

"Agghhh! What are you doing! Cut it out, Mitchell!" grunted Belman, his voice straining in the pain of his hand being crushed.

"Poor choice of words, Corporal!" responded Michael viciously. He raised his cane and brought it down on Anthony's hand. One side of the cane was bladed, and it cut clean through his wrist. Blood spouted out and Belman couldn't even manage to scream. He fell to his knees, sobbing furiously. Michael took no pity. He kicked the handless man in the gut and then grabbed him by the collar. "Well, Corporal, every man's day must come. Yours just came a lot sooner than you'd have liked! Farewell!" Michael, in front of the girl, then also grabbed Belman's belt and flung him over the balcony railing. Screaming even over the music, he smashed onto the marble floor, instantly killing him. The concert immediately stopped and Topper goons quickly showed up to get rid of the body.

The girl, whose name Michael still did not know, had fainted and toppled from her chair. He sighed, and started smacking her cheek to get her to wake up. After a few moments, she awoke and just lied there in wide-eyed horror as she realized she had just seen a murder.

"And don't scream, for pity's sake," warned Michael, already seeing what was coming.

"Why? Why? Why did you do that? Why?" she said, barely audible.

"It's a complicated matter, my dear. I wish I hadn't needed to involve you in this, but, eh, that's the way it goes. Of course, I can't let you just walk away now. You'd start talking about Belman's death, and all sorts of nasty things might happen. So, you'll be coming with me." Michael put his hat on the handle of his can and spinned it absent-mindedly.

"And if I don't want to come?" she asked acidly.

"Oh, simple: you're coming. Now, get up and follow me."

He made sure he had his arm nonchalantly around her waist as they exited the theatre, fearing she would make a run for it. As soon as they stepped onto the street, however, a bullet smacked into the ground just inches from his feet. He looked up: up in a church tower on the opposite side of the street were two snipers taking aim at him. Coming up the avenue was a battalion of Cravats.

"Fun! Get ready, my darling, we're about to fight these nasty buggers off," Michael acted as if he were describing a child's birthday party.

"Are you mad?! They're going to kill us!" she shouted, smacking his jaw as hard as she could.

"Oh, I don't know about that, miss!" came a voice from behind. It was Rutherford, followed by Hochstedler and a ridiculous amount of Toppers. The Great Boston Christmas Riot was about to begin.
 
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