Military District of Omaha

[Archangel Michael]

Note: This is a ture sotry that I witnessed just tonight. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Tonight, after a boys basketball game, a teeenage, John Thompson, from a different twon, decided to walk a girl, Andrea Jackson home. Two boys my Bancroft-Rosalie (my school), Jack Gage and Nicholas Andrews, jumped and atacked John in an elementary hallway. Two teachers, Mrs. Gregs and Mrs. Gerrings, witnessed it. Mrs. Gerrings was able to hold off Nick.

But what if she wasn't there. Say that Mrs. Gerring decided to leave a minute earlier, so she never witnessed it. Mrs. Gregs decided to go home, too. Nick and Jack are able to several beat, and kill John. Andrea is thrown back, and given a minor concussion.

This sparked a massive war against the Bancroft student body and the Lyons student body. The US Army is called in. This sparks massive rioting in the cities of Lincoln and Omaha. By Feburary 27th, President Bush orders that most of northeast and eastern Nebraska be put under martail law. Genreal Baxton (made up) is put as military commadant of the Military District of Omaha, capital in the city of Omaha. The Bill of Rights is cut off the Bancroft, Rosalie, and Lyons. Only the Freedom of Religion and Petition are still allowed.

How does this sound?

[Straha]

bush doesn't get reelelcted

[David S Poepoe]

And the Governor and State Legislature of Nebraska did what while all this was happening? Perhaps it would appear in the Weekly World News. Well, really it never would happen - at least the part about dividing Nebraska.

[NapoleonXIV]

There are two possiblities here:
1. This post is an extremely witty and sophisticated satire on one or another aspect of Bush's foreign policy, particulaly his wars, or maybe some remark he made, or something else in the news recently.

2. Nebraska Thunderf**k is Back!!


Old Barney Miller Joke:

Dietrich *makes inoffensive but pointed remark to Yemana which assumes Yemana is Japanese native

Yemana- "I wouldn't know, I'm from Omaha."

Dietrich- "That's funny, we have a city with that name too"