American King: Take Two

[wiiguy]

Originally Posted by Napoleon53

Love it! Love the Calhoun hang from a tree reference.

And...

HELL YUSH.

[Napoleon53]

I heard John Smith plays a mean Andrew I in that.

Rooster, could you edit out Richard Rush from the MoC? Turns out he is the child of Benjamin Rush, and we all know what happened to him ITTL. He sparked the Reign of Horror with his impaling.

[Flashman]

Im sorry, but this just hit me. It makes how much sense? Very little, but who in hell cares?

So you've already said Socialism wont be too popular. But- and dont think about it, just picture it- the Australian Worker's Federation.

That is awesome on Oh so many levels.

[Turquoise Blue]

Originally Posted by Napoleon53

I heard John Smith plays a mean Andrew I in that.

Rooster, could you edit out Richard Rush from the MoC? Turns out he is the child of Benjamin Rush, and we all know what happened to him ITTL. He sparked the Reign of Horror with his impaling.

Alright. When was that? I think Ben was born before his dad's impaling.

[Napoleon53]

Originally Posted by Flashman

Im sorry, but this just hit me. It makes how much sense? Very little, but who in hell cares?

So you've already said Socialism wont be too popular. But- and dont think about it, just picture it- the Australian Worker's Federation.

That is awesome on Oh so many levels.

Made up of Cajun-sounding French Australians. And actually a politically odd Australia would be interesting. Maybe they have some kind of Engels type... Australia is the origin of modern socialism. It'd probably be called something else to differentiate itself from "lameduck Ameri-Euro socialism." Probably a French word.

Originally Posted by Turquoise Blue

Alright. When was that? I think Ben was born before his dad's impaling.

He would have been 4 1784, when Doc Ben was shishkabob'd. I don't think he would get into politics after his family legacy is so horrific.

[Napoleon53]

Holy crap, I just had an awesome idea! Do NOT remove him from the list. This'll be awesome, just wait.

[wiiguy]

Originally Posted by Napoleon53

Made up of Cajun-sounding French Australians. And actually a politically odd Australia would be interesting. Maybe they have some kind of Engels type... Australia is the origin of modern socialism. It'd probably be called something else to differentiate itself from "lameduck Ameri-Euro socialism." Probably a French word.

Engels type: Philippe Petain.
Ideology: Petainism.

[Napoleon53]

Originally Posted by wiiguy

Engels type: Philippe Petain.
Ideology: Petainism.

As you would say, "Spasms of Ossom." (I think it was you who said that). It'd largely just be an Australian thing, but that's a big continent. Possibly spread to other islands and maybe south Asia.

[Turquoise Blue]

How about... Gaullism? Charles de Gaulle?

[wiiguy]

Originally Posted by Turquoise Blue

How about... Gaullism? Charles de Gaulle?

Too straightforward. maybe have him be the leader of a British puppet government in France or something, just to screw things around? And have Jean Fontenoy be the leader of Free France?

[Napoleon53]

Or Gaulle becomes a French Royal officer charged with keeping the Australians in line, and they get nasty in the factories.

[wiiguy]

Originally Posted by Napoleon53

Or Gaulle becomes a French Royal officer charged with keeping the Australians in line, and they get nasty in the factories.

Haha LOL YES THAT IS NEEDED.

[Rooster Cogburn]

Originally Posted by Napoleon53

Holy crap, I just had an awesome idea! Do NOT remove him from the list. This'll be awesome, just wait.

Good, less work for me But I just want to say that I do have a background for him and his career. He was actually a firm Crown Party member (sort of to redeem his family name, and I didn't think the monarchy would care since they were the ones who ended impaling and such) who was elected to Congress in 1814, serving till 1816 when he became Henry Clay's Secretary of the Treasury, serving for both terms. 1824 he's once again elected as a Congressman, and in 1833 he becomes a Minister of Congress. But he's always been a moderate, and in response to Perry's absolutism, he humanize the Constitutionalist Crown movement by becoming a Whig later that year, bringing a third of the Crown Party with him as independents. The movement is taken over by Cass in 1835, who of course becomes PM in 1836. So while he's Whig, he usually votes with Crowns on a lot of matters, but the Crowns hate him for defecting. He'll retire from Congress in 1850.

And I was hoping someone would get the Calhoun reference

[Napoleon53]

"We'll Have 'Em Beat by Christmas, Boys!"
"Hurrah! Hurrah!
We Bring the Jubilee!
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The Flag o' Old Hickory!
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We're Coming to Set you Free!
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We Sang a Chorus from the 'Sippi to the Sea!
While We Go Marching in Georgia!"

President Jeroboam Calvin Moses Towns of Georgia was not at all pleased by what was going on in South Carolina. As South Carolina's only true ally with the possible exception of Britain (which, under Richards the Younger, was growing warmer to the Calvinist dictatorship), Georgia had to say something of the unfolding crisis. That came in a message of support for Marion IV and his men. What should have never happened had now become a rapidly escalating breakdown of a truce exactly 40 years old. The unbelievable mistake made by General Gregg was possibly going to result in massive warfare.

President J.C.M. Towns

When Towns piped up his opinion, the north, not just the Union, but also Kaintuck, Louisiana, and all the Bonapartist states, were furious. In Virginia, Lieutenant Colonel Braxton Bramwell Brainard Bragg (B.B.B.B, as he was known) lead almost the entire male population of the decent-sized town of Lynchburg to the local enlistment office. A senior general, Zachary Taylor, also from Virginia, claimed he was going to take Virginia to war with or without support from the rest of the nation. Taylor soon received the nickname "Ole Rough and Ready." John I admired his patriotism, but was getting barraged by other generals also requesting permission to march upon "dirty Southron cities like Julius Caesar." Those generals were supposed to be under his control, but at the moment they were running loose and rallying the people for a "Megiddo along the Mississippi." The king was either going to have to calm the situation or go to war.

Richard Rush of Pennsylvania (Whig, and son of the Reign of Horror's first victim, Doctor Benjamin Rush, who was impaled in 1784), Nathaniel P. Tallmadge of New York (Crown), John Adams Dix of New York (Crown), Martin Vanburen of New York (Crown), Robert J. Walker of Cuba (Crown), and Duke DeRensis, all six Ministers of the House of Congress, held a meeting with John I and Prime Minister Buchanan on September 1, and also begged for war.

Richard Rush


J. A. Dix


Nathanial P. Tallmadge


Martin Vanburen


Robert J. Walker

The following comes from eye-witness accounts of the talks by butlers in attendance.

"The time has come, Your Majesty, when we stop taking licks from these dirty Southrons and stand up with shoulders squared. We need to dust off the rifles and send them back to Hell," said Tallmadge. "I served under your father and General Scott back during the Portuguese Conflict, and I know the brutality of warfare, but I also know that brutality is necessary. The time has come to do what His Excellency, Duke Winterfell, suggested: hang Francis Marion IV from the highest tree in South Carolina."

Rush stood up and shocked the whole group by saying, "I am not a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but I am a student of prophecy. As I read prophecy, such as that written by my beloved father Benjamin before he was ruthlessly killed for his beliefs in the days of the Old Republic, the Negroes of the URAS are to be liberated, sooner or later."

"Let's keep it later!" laughed Vanburen, tolerant of his counterpart because the shock value of Rush's words had worn off two decades ago.

"No, Martin, my friend. Now. Your Majesty, think of the political repercussions in the Southrons' territory if we said to their slaves that all of them would be free if they fight for our glorious Union! I say again, free the slaves, win the war!"

"Blasphemy!" yelled a furious Walker. "We free them, and we'll have nothing but problems in our own country! What would we do with an influx of ex-slaves? And what of the women and children of the Southron male Negroes who would fight for us? We'd have darkie women and children running out our ears, that's what!"

"Walker, we don't even have that many slaves in the URAS. Some in Cuba, which you represent, yes, but the majority of the states do not have a large slave population. The people who do own slaves use them more like butlers than fieldhand slave-labor most of the time. Virginia, North Carolina, and Illinoia are the only states beside yours with any form of a large agricultural slave population. If we told the Southron Negroes they were free, there would be violence down there. The Southron war effort would be disrupted." Rush said all this calmly, sipping a cup of tea.

"Or it could lead to intense persecution and executions of the darkies you love so much, Rush!" Walker's face grew red with rage. "Marion IV would hang them!"

"Why do you care, Mr. Walker?" asked Fish. "Wouldn't you be happy to see that? What do you lose?"

"No... No. I don't want them to die... That isn't a Christian thought. It's just that, well, they can't handle freedom. The slaves in my beautiful state of Cuba could overrun everything! Cuban Civil War! Atrocious thought." Walker's face turned pink instead of red as he realized he was being boxed into a corner.

"An atrocious thought is His Majesty having to deal with a fully-prepared Georgia and South Carolina," quipped Fish. "We free the darkies, we're still their authorities. No one said anything about equality."

"I may be named after John Adams, but I do not share any of his political beliefs. Abolition is a dangerous idea introduced by the most radical elements of the Sons of Liberty," claimed Dix, supporting Walker. "We must not allow this dangerous idea to take hold!"

King John pondered throughout the entire debate, and at the end had a hushed conversation with Vanburen and DeRensis. The meeting was recessed for two hours, and then reconvened.

"Gentlemen," started Vanburen in an overly-dramatic tone, "His Majesty has the answer. As always, through his fairness and careful consideration, he has reached a solution that will satisfy both parties. Only those Negroes willing to bear arms against the Southron dogs will be given freedom. There will be no emancipation."

Both sides were reluctant. Neither side got what they wanted. John I got exactly what he wanted: Negro cannon fodder.

The residents of Readstown, Polypotamia, form the 13th Polypotamia Infantry


Captain Jethro Jeremiah Cooper and the boys of the 2nd Brooklyn Volunteers

An English Royalist brigade under he command of William IV's illegitimate eldest son and brother of Queen Victoria, George FitzClarence, 1st Earl of Munster, making camp in lower New York; it became known as the Bastard's Brigade, and afterwards, the Inglorious Bastards, referring to their fighting prowess as a whole. During the war, they usually sported red uniforms, making them instantly recognizable and feared.


General George FitzClarence


Photograph of a young member of the 3rd French Brigade, under the command of François Certain-Canrobert, a Frenchman who hoped to work in the Union to get ideas for improving his own country's methods.


François Certain-Canrobert


"Der Deutschland Club," the 32nd Pennsylvania Light Infantry


Uniforms of the Louisiana Republican Army, which eagerly joined the URAS in the rush to the colors; Louisiana was known for its extremely elaborate uniforms. Soldiers serving under General "Elvy-Boy" Elvis-Louis Bonaparte (brother of the Louisiana President, Napoleon Bonaparte II) were known for carrying velvet-covered footstools with them on the march.

More to come! BTW, as I was posting this, Wiiguy was outside my house with tableflipping supplies and a lockpick. :P

[Rooster Cogburn]

Great update! Although the fact that I think you're quoting Wilhelm II makes me worried over who might win the war Just two issues: first, James Buchanan is Prime Minister, not me. And second, I'm still a Minister of Congress; when I resign to join the army, then Hamilton Fish becomes a Minister. Before the war he's just a Congressman. Besides that, I love the detailed dialogue!

[Napoleon53]

Originally Posted by Rooster Cogburn

Great update! Although the fact that I think you're quoting Wilhelm II makes me worried over who might win the war Just two issues: first, James Buchanan is Prime Minister, not me. And second, I'm still a Minister of Congress; when I resign to join the army, then Hamilton Fish becomes a Minister. Before the war he's just a Congressman. Besides that, I love the detailed dialogue!

Fixed! And thanks!

[Clandango]

Looks like South Carolina is going to be turned into Dixieland while Calhoun and Marion are turned into Washingtons.

[Rooster Cogburn]

I suppose during the meeting I just sat and listened. Since its creation, I've tried to keep the Whigs on a middle path on the slavery issue. Being against diehard slavocrats, and abolitionists; just obeying the law. If slavery is the law, we'll enforce it completely. If its illegal, same thing. When you take away morality, everything is so simple So Illinoisa has slaves? Weird; and I though North Carolina and Bahamas would have a lot too.

Hopefully Bragg doesn't get a high position, and Taylor will soon retire.

I'm honestly surprised that John doesn't love me more. I've defended him from socialists, I've fully supported the war effort since the beginning, I was friends with his wife's father (and because of that have probably known her since she was little), and I was prepared to follow whatever he said on the slavery question. I know he doesn't like my politics, but I think he'd at least respect me and the Whigs as equals.

So my changes to Perry's administration now canon?

[Napoleon53]

Originally Posted by Clandango

Looks like South Carolina is going to be turned into Dixieland while Calhoun and Marion are turned into Washingtons.

If I get your meaning, I think you're right.

Originally Posted by Rooster Cogburn

I suppose during the meeting I just sat and listened. Since its creation, I've tried to keep the Whigs on a middle path on the slavery issue. Being against diehard slavocrats, and abolitionists; just obeying the law. If slavery is the law, we'll enforce it completely. If its illegal, same thing. When you take away morality, everything is so simple So Illinoisa has slaves? Weird; and I though North Carolina and Bahamas would have a lot too.

Hopefully Bragg doesn't get a high position, and Taylor will soon retire.

I'm honestly surprised that John doesn't love me more. I've defended him from socialists, I've fully supported the war effort since the beginning, I was friends with his wife's father (and because of that have probably known her since she was little), and I was prepared to follow whatever he said on the slavery question. I know he doesn't like my politics, but I think he'd at least respect me and the Whigs as equals.

So my changes to Perry's administration now canon?

I hate morality. I take away morality when I'm really hungry and a five year old passes me with a Happy Meal. *punches*

BuBBa Bragg won the War for OTL South! Oh, wait. Why don't you like Taylor?

He doesn't like how the Whigs went after his pal Perry. He doesn't hate DeRensis or anything, but he considers him a political foe. He trusts him on military stuff, though.

Yep, Perry looks good.

[Rooster Cogburn]

Originally Posted by Napoleon53

I hate morality. I take away morality when I'm really hungry and a five year old passes me with a Happy Meal. *punches*

Why don't you like Taylor?

He doesn't like how the Whigs went after his pal Perry. He doesn't hate DeRensis or anything, but he considers him a political foe. He trusts him on military stuff, though.

Yep, Perry looks good.

hahaha, that actually made me laugh for like 5 minutes

Just a dislike for him as a person. He was an average general at best, he would have lost Buena Vista if not for problems in Mexico City which forced Santa Anna to retreat right before he won, and he was a political opportunist. He said he was a Whig, but in reality he shared none of their opinions at all. And he was willing to start a civil war, and refused to work with the Compromise of 1850. All I can say is, its a good thing he died when he did!

Well, does he see that a majority (roughly 60%) of the American people didn't like what Perry was doing? Well that's good, till this point I thought he had some kind of vendetta against me and planned to make the Whigs illegal or something

Great!