The Stars at Night: A Texas Timeline

[Sicarius]

"If I owned Hell and Texas, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell."
- General Philip Sheridan

Part One (Right below this, man!)
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten

This is my first timeline here, so sit back, be kind, and don't forget to rewind.

Texas! The Lone Star State. America's America. Everything's bigger there. Before magnanimously allowing itself to become the largest of the US states (unless you count Alaska, which I DO NOT), Texas was the ONLY state that was also an independent Republic - unless you count Vermont, California, Hawaii, the pre-Confederacy Confederate States, and West Florida, which I DO NOT. The world was undoubtedly robbed the day Texas joined the US, and indeed a Republic that continues in its independence is as common to Alternate History as zeppelins and President Hitler. Of course, in those alternate histories Texas is too often pretty much the same size, shape, and culture as it is today, because nothing says "stability" like a mid-19th century Republic bordered by Comancheria and a chaotic revanchist Mexico, riven with debts, and packed with slaves in a time where the Peculiar Institution was becoming decidedly out of fashion.

It's in this period that our stage is set. Come with me on a journey into the fledgling Texian Republic in the year of Our Lord 1841, when a peculiarly pickled protagonist and a pack of precocious pork presses play on our particular piece...

THE STARS AT NIGHT: A TEXAS TIMELINE

Part One
POD: Pigs of Departure


The Republic of Texas, 1841

Dateline: AUSTIN, REPUBLIC OF TEXAS. 1841. TUESDAY. A vital hinge point in the web of time. Sometimes history swings on the actions of great men, or lucky arrows, or fortuitous weather. And sometimes, more often than one might think, it all comes down to drunks. [1]

One such man, whose name and cocktail of choice are both lost to history [2], is the true architect of our modern world. Because tonight, stumbling down the streets of Austin, he will seek out a place of warmth. A comfy bed, a feather pillow, a complimentary bathrobe. And such a fine establishment he will find! Unfortunately, it is 3AM, he has no money, and he can barely talk. But, with the enterprising spirit of the truly hammered, this man finds a viable alternative: the pigpen. When you're drunk enough this is a pretty acceptable situation. Let's not throw stones. We've all been there. [3]

However, our enterprising spirits enthusiast did not have the manners to close the gate to the pigpen upon entering. An action which would normally solicit questions about whether one was raised in a barn, although in this context if anything that would mean he would be more familiar with pig protocol. Upon the break of dawn, hotelier/pig owner Richard Bullock is horrified to find his beloved hogs have been replaced by (or possibly turned into [4]) a filthy drunk man. Taking a long moment to contemplate the situation, Bullock finally settles on the most reasonable course of action: viciously beating the man with a stick.


Historical reproduction of what the pigs in question no doubt looked exactly like.

Upstairs, hotel tenant Jean Peter Isidore Alphonse Dubois, Comte de Saligny, French Charge d’Affaires, watched these plebeian affairs diffidently. Someone beating a filthy man in a pig pen with a stick was about par for the course with his experience in Texas. But nevertheless, this new country offered a wealth of opportunities for la France. JPIAD (CdS [FCd'A])'s enthusiastic letters were finally convincing the boys back home of that. Just a little bit longer, and he'd really get the ball rolling... [5]

[1] The Drunk Man theory of history.
[2] I'm going to assume a comically large jug with XXX on it.
[3] Drunk, in a pig pen, in 1841. I can't count the times it happened to me!
[4] A reverse Circe. Reverce.
[5] OTL, Bullock's pigs broke into Saligny's room and ruined his shit, leading him to leave Texas in a huff. This actually happened.

[Swan Station]

Originally Posted by Sicarius

Everything's bigger there. Before magnanimously allowing itself to become the largest of the US states (unless you count Alaska, which I DO NOT)...

Be careful what you say, or Alaska will split itself in two and make Texas the third largest of the US States.

Anyway, this is fantastic so far. Subscribed.

[MNP]

A timline written in the style of a Cracked article. Let's see where this goes.

[Arafeel]

Good stuff, i like they this is writen.

[Errnge]

definitely going to be watching closely. love the style in which it is written

[Sicarius]

Part Two
Everything's Pigger In Texas

Mere weeks after the pig incident, the Texian House passes "An Act to Incorporate the Franco-Texian Commercial and Colonization Company." The bill calls for the Company to introduce 8,000 French families and to establish and maintain twenty forts for twenty years in return for a grant of three million acres from the Republic of Texas and exemption of the settlers from all taxes and tariffs for twenty years as well. With this and a previously negotiated seven million dollar loan from France to the Lone Star Republic, Franco-Texian relations are flying high, due in no small part to the constant pro-Texas letters de Saligny sends to his government. Soon, with the encouragement of Francophile Texian President Mirabeau B. Lamar (The B. stands for Buonaparte), the Franco-Texian Bill passes the Senate.


Mirabeau Lamar. Check out smugdog millionaire over here.

This isn't the only population transfer in progress. In scenic Biebrich, near the Rhine, a collection of German nobles have gathered. Together, they organize Adelsverein, the Society for the Protection of German Immigrants in Texas, a group dedicated to building a new Germany on Texas soil. Presumably, they hadn't heard about all the French. The mass emigration will of course be controlled by the nobles, to no small personal benefit...

In the next year, the first French settlers begin to arrive in Texas, settling mostly along the Brazos River. France begins its first military construction with a largely symbolic recommissioning of Fort Saint Louis, originally constructed by early settlers in 1685. The laying of the cornerstone of the new fort is a public event, highlighting the longstanding (and somewhat exaggerated) connections between the two nations. Former President Lamar is on hand, and gives a friendly speech praising cooperation between the two nations and pledging eternal Franco-Texian friendship. And also, not-so secretly, laying the groundwork that he hopes will allow him to once again be Current President Lamar.

But there's a much more pressing election going down in a nearby country. You might have heard of it: The United States of America. Texas is quite the issue in the 1844 clash between James K. Polk and Henry Clay. Texas had long been seen as the desperate nerd in the corner of the prom which the US could ask to dance any time they wanted. However, the Lone Star Nation was now being romanced by a sultry Gallic interloper. Polk claims that France is moving in on Texas, and that the US has to swoop in and grab it while it still has the chance. Clay, on the other hand, uses the French complications to stand even firmer against annexation. He claims that Texas has cozied up to foreign powers and is accepting too many French and German immigrants. Further, French forts and land claims in Texas would be difficult to get around - the French are already there, in force, as part of a legal agreement. French troops on US soil is simply unacceptable, but you can't just violate a treaty with France like they're a bunch of Indians or something. The US has problems enough as it is with Oregon; pushing two of the most powerful European countries over territorial claims is dangerous. Polk counters that the French will be driven out of Texas by force if necessary, as the British will be from Oregon. Polk speaking of war on TWO major European powers makes many stop thinking of him as bold, but instead as reckless. On election day, the people of the United States provide a narrow win to Henry Clay.


President Henry Clay. It's unfortunate about the whole ... face situation.

With the election of an anti-annexation US President and an apparent American turn against expansion, and with the benefit of growing ties to France, Texian overtures to the US gradually fade away despite the best efforts of annexationist President Houston, who leaves office in December of 1844 disappointed and, for the first time, somewhat unpopular. France offers to his successor, Anson Jones, that they will broker a diplomatic agreement with Mexico, firmly establishing Texas's boundaries and securing Mexican recognition of the Republic. Although Jones is incredibly cautious (still hoping he might eventually become a US Senator from Texas), with prospects of joining the US dimming and Texians beginning to become more comfortable with the idea of long-term independence, it's vital for Texas to secure its position. France is happy to secure its commercial and military interests. Mexico is NOT happy (and when is it ever, these days?), but it seems that Texas is either going to stand with France or the United States; either way, it's better for Mexico to get what they can now, rather than risk a later fight with a stronger Texas backed by a powerful benefactor.

Under the French mediated settlement, Texas keeps much of their territorial claims. The main losses are in the South, where the border is settled at the Nueces, rather than the Texian Rio Grande claim, and the West, which is set at the Pecos. Texas makes some gains in the less populated (and admittedly, less hospitable) north, with Mexico mollified by the French suggestion that a northerly Texian border would be a better buffer against the United States. The treaty is a tough sell to the proud Texians, and Mexico isn't thrilled either. But Texas never really controlled the south or west anyway, and getting to keep the important trading post of Santa Fe helps the medicine go down. Nevertheless, the public grumbles. Careful to avoid criticizing the French, former President Lamar attacks the concessions, renewing his old calls for a Texas that stretches to the Pacific, further gearing up for the Presidential election of 1847. [1]

As Texas settles into its new shape, a steady stream of Germans establish New Braunfels, more French settle in the East, and the economy begins to pick up steam, it looks like there's a bright future in store for the Republic. But looks can be deceiving.



[1] Lamar had wisely sat out in 1844, letting sadsack Anson Jones take over and usher in the unpopular treaty.

[herricks]

keep it coming
since i'm from texas i would like to see the rio grande as the border but we can always take it & more later

[Sicarius]

Part Eleven
No Place Like Home

The Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 didn’t really tell anyone anything they didn’t already know. It created the titular territories, opened them up to settlement under the theory of Popular Sovereignty, and officially abolished the Missouri Compromise. Everyone knew this was going down anyway. But seeing something set down in black and white makes it more real to people, and the passage of the bill was the impetus behind most of the ensuing events. It drove a stake into the heart of the Whigs, their party basically suffering a national nervous breakdown over the issue. As roving Whig Senate hopeful Abraham Lincoln said at the time, “I think I am a Whig, but others say there are no Whigs.” Inspiring stuff, I wonder how that campaign is going to work out [1].

It also inspired a wave of settlers from slave states to move in on the new Kansas territory. For awhile, everything was looking great for the Democrats, and therefore great for Lewis Cass. But the inrush of Southern colonists wasn’t just noticed by a pleased President. Cranky Congregationalist Henry Ward Beecher began passing the plate for some truly Christ-like purchases: rifles! The rifles were shipped west in crates marked BIBLES [2], into the waiting hands of New Englanders who had been mobilized by various colonization societies.

The Southern and Northern efforts created an echo chamber effect, where each side’s actions caused the other side to react, while both sides claimed increasingly absurd amounts of their enemies were days away from plowing into the state. On both sides of the Mason-Dixon, crowds quivering in anger listened to tales of how thirty, forty, fifty thousand of their opposite numbers were at this very moment setting up in shop in Kansas, establishing settlements with insulting names [3] [4], etc.

Shockingly for a territory now packed with angry, armed illiterates, the situation escalated. In November, pro-slave “Border Ruffians” flooded into Kansas and stole the election of the territory’s Congressional delegate, and then again for the elections to the territorial legislature. The Free Soil crowd was furious at this abbrogation of democracy [5], and set up their own legislature in Topeka to counter the Ruffian legislature in Pawnee. They each drafted a constitution (the Topeka and Pawnee Constitutions, respectively) and began to pass laws. President Cass, welcoming the opportunity to further rebuild his post-California credibility with the more radical wing of his party, promptly declared the Topeka government to be in rebellion. This was less severe than it sounds; Cass was hardly going to have them all shot. It was more or less understood that this was a fait acompli, and the Topeka government would now have no choice but to peacefully fade away. This might have actually happened (though I doubt it), if not for the first outbreaks of actual violence.

A Free Soiler and a Border Ruffian walk into a bar. Despite bars being the most conducive place for calm and reasonable discussion of political issues, things went south quickly. By the end of the fracas, the Ruffian is dead, shot by the Free Soiler. Outrage percolated rapdily through the pro-Slavery community, and soon a mass of Ruffians and neighboring Missourans (led by a local sheriff, no less) were headed towards Lawrence. They were beaten there by one man, who was somehow far more dangerous than an angry mob: John Brown.


This guy doesn’t look too scary. He looks like Kermit the Frog.




HOLY SHIT

John Brown was a radical abolitionist who advocated ending the Peculiar Institution through armed force. He came equipped with little besides a few rifles, some cutlasses, some similarly-minded sons, and a family sized helping of murderous zeal for liberty. Brown rallied the people of Lawrence to arm themselves and prepare for battle, as the Ruffian mob - now over 1,000 strong - themselves raided a Federal armory. On December 1st, the Ruffian force entered Topeka. Though the Topekan force was too insufficiently armed and undermanned to seal the entire town, they had constructed barricades and blocked themselves off inside buildings, from which they would pop out and fire before retreating. Brutal house to house fighting ensued for two days, before the Ruffians set the town ablaze, killing many and driving the rest away.

As 1856 opened, the nation was horrified by the violence, and the political world paralyzed with indecision. Both sides were screaming for federal troops to quell the fighting, but they disagreed on which side was the one that needed quelling. The furor only increased when news began to trickle in that John Brown had escaped, and was slaughtering pro-slavery settler families.

Tension from the Kansas crisis permeated Washington. Perhaps the high tempers go some way to explain the tragedy of May 22. Massachusetts Senator Charles Sumner had made a speech criticizing fellow Senator Andrew Butler. When this news got back to Preston Brooks, Senator from South Carolina and relative of Sen. Butler, he was unhappy with the situation. But being a Southern gentleman, Brooks understood how best to express his emotions. Therefore, in a mostly empty Senate chamber, Brooks snuck up behind the seated Sumner and beat him about the head with a cane until he collapsed in a pool of blood. After getting around South Carolina Rep. Laurence M. Keitt, who had covered the legislators with a pistol while Brooks battered Sumner, sympathetic Senators attempted to provide aid to their fallen collegue. But it was too late - Charles Sumner was dead.

[1] Poorly.
[2] They were all out of boxes marked IRONY.
[3] Massuckusetts
[4] Cass Hole
[5] “Furious!” they said, kicking their rifles under the bed, hoping you wouldn’t notice.

[Plumber]

I smell an earlier Civil War.
Keep it coming!

[Errnge]

I love it when congress gets dirty like that. Let the Battle of Congress begin!

[Sicarius]

For some reason it won't let me edit the first post anymore!

[Space Oddity]

There's a time limit. It's... annoying.

[Sicarius]

Part Twelve
Cruel Sumner

Preston Brooks was soon taken into police custody. Keitt was as well, though he was soon released, claiming that he had only acted to prevent a greater fracas from breaking out. The District of Columbia was still very much a Southern town, and despite the fact that a murder had been committed, the authorities were sympathetic to the perpetrators. Northerners were furious. Public calls for Brooks’s expulsion from the Senate, trial, and execution [1] were common. Though the South could hardly praise murder, there was a strong sense that Sumner had it coming.

In a different vein [2], John Brown responded to the incident (or more likely, used it for justification) by capturing a dozen Ruffian soldiers who had been harassing Free Soil settlers. Brown and his men summarily executed their prisoners. The Kansas crisis grew increasingly violent, under the blatantly one-sided rule of acting governor Daniel Woodson. In the Battle of Osawatomie, Brown and his men were driven back by a numerically superior Ruffian force, and retreated to Topeka. One of Brown’s sons was killed in the retreat. As the Ruffian force gathered steam, attacking Free Soil settlements with increasing vigor, settlers began to stream into the city as well, for safety. Despite the growing number of armed Ruffians, also headed towards Topeka, Governor Woodson did nothing to stem the violence.

Thus it was in late September that Ruffian forces once again entered Topeka, only just recovering from its previous burning. Despite the recent destruction, the town was actually quite bustling, filled with those who had fled the previous conflict, new settlers, refugees, and Free Soil partisans. They were also significantly better armed, as new shipments of Beecher’s Bibles had poured in, sponsored by funds raised in the wake of the early violence and the Sumner killing.

Once again, Topeka was engulfed in violence. Over the course of three days, hundreds on both sides were killed, and the city was again burned to the ground, killing many more. Both sides claimed to have avoided whatever violence they could, blaming their enemies and the fire [3].

If a positive can be found in so much bloodshed, the Second Battle of Topeka was the last major incident of violence in the crisis. Both sides seemed shocked by how bad things had gotten, and the partisan bands either withdrew or disbanded. Aiding this was that President Cass finally dispatched a massive force of Federal troops to secure the territory, in preparation for a referendum that would finally, legally decide the slavery issue. A move that needed to be made, though many claimed that Cass was only acting because the election of 1856 was fast approaching.

And if you thought the infighting in Kansas was bad, you should see what’s happening in the Democratic party...

[1] Not always in that order.
[2] The jugular, with a cutlass.
[3] It wasn’t super convincing to blame a fire that you yourself started, in the Ruffian case, though some did go so far as to claim the Free Soilers set it to frame the pro-slavery forces. At least they didn’t claim the fire was an abolitionist and started itself.

[Arachnid]

Yet another great update, how are things in Texas?

[Geekhis Khan]

"Oh that wacky John Brown!"

Interesting...are the Ruffians winning Kansas ITTL? Slave Kansas?!?

[Errnge]

I too am curious as to the goings ons in Tejas. Is it fully tri-lingual yet? (Spanish, French, and Amurrcan)

[Nicomacheus]

This...is...hilarious [gasping for breath]. Write more, quickly, please!

From a relative power projection standpoint, I understand why the US gets as much of the SW as they did. However, do they have real access to the territory? With Texas's greater NW holdings, the main passes over the Rockies seem like they might be further North. Getting troops, settlers, administrators to this area is probably going to require going through Texas or California (which means around the Horn). And this is the part of Mexico and the US that was most lawless OTL.

[Leistungsfähiger Amerikan]

Just wanted to say that I've read through part 10 and great timeline. I did a WI with a similar POD a while back---keep it up!

[Geekhis Khan]

FREEDOM! And IRONY!

[Sicarius]

BOOK II: Texas, Our Texas

Part 19
That's Right (You're Not from Texas)

Over the years, Texas had become something of a melting pot. Admittedly, it was rather like that melting pot you bought in college and used once before stuffing it into the closet with congealed cheese all over it, but it was a melting pot nonetheless. In addition to the slaves, indians, and Americans, Texas was now home to significant minorities of French, Germans, and an expanded population of Tejanos (and smaller but still notable groups of Czechs, Poles, and others).

German immigration to Texas had met with initial encouragement on most sides, starting with their early forays in the 1830s. Texians liked having more white people around, even if they insisted on gurgling in some foreign devil language. The Germans liked having cheap land they could own themselves, and they considered “moderate to low” an acceptable scalping probability. (Germans and indians actually got along decently well, and Fredericksburg actually signed a treaty with the Comanches that was adhered to by both sides). The German nobles supported it, both because they moved whole communities over to Texas in order to capitalize on the new frontier, and because it was a good escape valve for local crazies. Adelsverein, a noble-backed group to encourage emigration, accomplished the former. The latter accomplished itself.

German immigration first started running into trouble in the late 1840s. While Germans mostly stuck to the Hill Country of central Texas, and the French more to the east, there was still contact between them. The French administrators were not kindly disposed towards Germans. Especially Germans who might take land that French people wanted. Apparently they had had a whole thing about something like that before.

The French put a lot of money into the Texas government, through trade and otherwise, and so they carried a lot of weight. With pressure from the French and the Texian government, Adelsverein went bankrupt in 1850. But this wasn’t the end of German immigration, just the end of the nobles’ attempt to set up a ‘New Germany’ deep in the heart of Texas.

There was always a trickle of German immigration, but in the years after the Revolutions of 1848, the trickle became a flood. Texas was well established as a favorable emigration destination in Germany, dating back to efforts started by Sam Houston. The Germans who fled the failed revolutions were looking for a place where they could lay low, rebuild their lives, and experiment with their utopian schemes in unclaimed territory. Many of these 48ers would become highly influential members of Texian German society. Though they initially tried to create their own communities - called Latin Settlements due to the founders’ classical education - they soon found that knowledge of Latin, history, poetry, and political science didn’t translate especially well into farming success. Many of these Lateiner ended up trickling into the larger towns and growing cities of the German areas, where they established themselves as teachers, lawyers, and politicians. One German exile, a former revolutionary named Carl Schurz, worked to create a more unified German community in Texas, a peoples’ version of the Adelsverein vision. With his connections to numerous veterans of 1848, Schurz began to forge the region into something more than a connection of scattered settlements.


Carl Schurz in a cartoon from the Houston Star. "Pacifism" is used here with respect to indians.

Muaaaah, the French. The Franco-Texian Treaty provided that 8,000 French families could move to Texas and live tax-free for 25 years, an offer that had been vigorously accepted by thousands. The French settlers were mostly clustered in the east, hugging the coast or the American border (cross-cultural connections between new Texian French and Louisiana Cajuns led to a stronger French political force in Louisiana, and forged one of the few Texian-American ties that stayed strong during the post-Mexican War chill). French winemakers also set up shop in the Texdaho region (the border between Texas and Idaho) and in the Hill Country of central Texas, which created friction between them and the German settlers.

Because their land grants were obviously not settled previously, the French did not have much early access to other Texians, or even to each other. But as their numbers grew, more densely populated settlements were either founded or populated with French. These included the gateway to the American south, Nacogdoches, and the link between deep east Texas and Texdaho, Trinité (Approximately OTL Dallas). Many French also found their way to Houston, which became the first area where French and anglo Texians came into frequent contact.

Such cross-cultural mixings have problems enough generally, and the issues were only exacerbated once the Texians found out their new neighbors didn't have to pay taxes. At the time the Franco-Texian Bill was passed, most Texians had little idea what was going on in the distant capital. Now they were running up against people who were doing the same work as them, but getting a free ride from their own government! And - as is inevitable with any large number of immigrants - certain French floated to the top of their scene and became wealthy, poor Texians were enraged, saying that the French had only succeeded on the backs of the ‘real’ Texians. Amongst working class native Texians in the east, anti-French sentiment began to grow. These people would form the backbone of the eastern section of the Texian Party.

Further south there was less conflict, but only because one side had so thoroughly crushed the others. After the Mexican War, white landowners had managed to secure massive swathes of land in the new territory. Though the never-ending quest for expansion led white ranchers, farmers, cowboys, and merchants over the Rio Grande as well, most of the workers on these vast estates were Tejanos (except the overseers). The new boss being little different than the old boss, poor Tejanos continued right along in the prior existing system of peonage. The largest chunk of land was controlled by Richard King, an investor and riverboat man who settled in Texas after ferrying supplies to the Union army during the Mexican war. He had already built up a sizable estate before the Southron Rebellion, during which he prospered greatly as a member of the Circle of Brothers, smuggling supplies to the Confederate rebels. King’s time in the Circle let him build connections with both the Texian elite and the Confederate power structure. After the war he helped wealthy ex-Confederates set up shop in south Texas, making him a man with many friends, and one who was owed many favors. One particular recent immigrant, who believed his vast wealth would have been destroyed if King had not helped him escape the ashes of the Confederacy, felt particularly indebted to the man. In the years to come there would be a close association and cooperation between the estates of William King and Nathan Bedford Forrest.

The lack of development in the south and the distance from authority made these landowners effectively independent lords of their lands. They were responsible for the creation of the area’s infrastructure, as well as defense, whether from bandits, cattle rustlers, indians, or probing Mexican patrols. King and Forrest in particular were active in this, creating semi-military groups to keep their areas pacified (and to force out smaller farmers so their lands could be seized on the cheap). This was the beginning of the “hacienda system” that would come to dominate the area, with the owners soon earning the title “caudillo”. With south Texas’s congressional delegation entirely controlled by their various patrons, the caudillos soon cemented their hold over the lands to the south.


Hail to the King, baby.

Texas had become a stew of competing interests. The Confederados still strongly supported slavery, and had expanded into Texian farming, cotton, and even light industry. The French worked to secure their place in Texas and grow their economic interests, but were worried about the upcoming expiration of their tax breaks. The Germans were abolitionists who loathed the French, who had deprived them from much of Texas’s economic opportunities or trade, causing an increasingly local focus. Tejanos knew the score, and the caudillos weren't much worse than their old patrons - but they still weren’t happy, and more and more young men began slipping off the haciendas and into bandito groups. And in the middle of it all, the anglo majority was watching what they saw as foreign hordes increasingly carve up their Texas.

Sounds like a good time for an election!