AH Challenge: Weird WWII

World War Two had alot of strange things go on........

...The OSS wanted to inject Hitler with Estrogen to make him a woman.....
....The US Army wanted to rally Austria under a new House of Hapsburg.....
......The Germans built a tank 20 feet high and 50 feet long.......
..... The RAF had plans to bomb Germany with porno, thus making Hitler furious (Since he denied that there was any pornography in Germany)........
......The British tried to build a Aircraft Carrier of ice.....
.... Howard Hughes built the Spruce Goose.....
.... There were plans to use a "Bat-Bomb" to burn Tokyo to the ground........
.... The Germans built a gun to shoot around walls.....

So, find a way that WWII would have:
The OSS trying to turn Hitler into a woman
The US Army's "Austrian Unit" entering Austria
The "Maus" tank entering limited service by 1945
The RAF regularly bombing Germany with Porno
The Project Habakkuk carrier existing
The Spruce Gooses being in limited service by 1945
"Bat-Bombs" being used against Tokyo and Osaka
The German gun that fired around corners in wide use by 1945.

Also, find how all these developments (all of which were planned or were limited) would affect the war.
 
Gamingboy said:
World War Two had alot of strange things go on........

...The OSS wanted to inject Hitler with Estrogen to make him a woman.....
....The US Army wanted to rally Austria under a new House of Hapsburg.....
......The Germans built a tank 20 feet high and 50 feet long.......
..... The RAF had plans to bomb Germany with porno, thus making Hitler furious (Since he denied that there was any pornography in Germany)........
......The British tried to build a Aircraft Carrier of ice.....
.... Howard Hughes built the Spruce Goose.....
.... There were plans to use a "Bat-Bomb" to burn Tokyo to the ground........
.... The Germans built a gun to shoot around walls.....

So, find a way that WWII would have:
The OSS trying to turn Hitler into a woman
The US Army's "Austrian Unit" entering Austria
The "Maus" tank entering limited service by 1945
The RAF regularly bombing Germany with Porno
The Project Habakkuk carrier existing
The Spruce Gooses being in limited service by 1945
"Bat-Bombs" being used against Tokyo and Osaka
The German gun that fired around corners in wide use by 1945.

Also, find how all these developments (all of which were planned or were limited) would affect the war.

You'd have to change the laws of physics for several of these, and I believe some of the rest are not so much the case. Hitler and estrogen? Wha?
 

Grey Wolf

Gone Fishin'
Donor
Abdul Hadi Pasha said:
You'd have to change the laws of physics for several of these, and I believe some of the rest are not so much the case. Hitler and estrogen? Wha?

You don't effect a sex change by injecting someone with oestregen once...no matter how much

Grey Wolf
 

Diamond

Banned
Gamingboy said:
World War Two had alot of strange things go on........

...The OSS wanted to inject Hitler with Estrogen to make him a woman.....
....The US Army wanted to rally Austria under a new House of Hapsburg.....
......The Germans built a tank 20 feet high and 50 feet long.......
..... The RAF had plans to bomb Germany with porno, thus making Hitler furious (Since he denied that there was any pornography in Germany)........
......The British tried to build a Aircraft Carrier of ice.....
.... Howard Hughes built the Spruce Goose.....
.... There were plans to use a "Bat-Bomb" to burn Tokyo to the ground........
.... The Germans built a gun to shoot around walls.....

So, find a way that WWII would have:
The OSS trying to turn Hitler into a woman
The US Army's "Austrian Unit" entering Austria
The "Maus" tank entering limited service by 1945
The RAF regularly bombing Germany with Porno
The Project Habakkuk carrier existing
The Spruce Gooses being in limited service by 1945
"Bat-Bombs" being used against Tokyo and Osaka
The German gun that fired around corners in wide use by 1945.

Also, find how all these developments (all of which were planned or were limited) would affect the war.

Hardly worth scrolling through all of the above just to find a measly little sentence like this, is it? :rolleyes: ;)
 
Estrogen will not turn Hitler into a woman.

A tank that is 20 feet tall and 50 feet long would be a serious waste of metal.

Bombing Germany with porno would result in less frustrated German soldiers, thusly improving the German war effort.

The new British iceberg aircraft carriers are promptly melted by Hitler's magical heat ray, which of course he aquired in '42 from the Devil.

The Spruce Goose didn't fly very well.

The "bat bombs" froze solid turing testing. Plus, bats can't really be controlled. (Also, firebombing made bats obsolete late in the war.)

The German guns that fire around corners are promptly made obsolete by the American atomic bomb. :D
 
Gamingboy said:
World War Two had alot of strange things go on........

...The OSS wanted to inject Hitler with Estrogen to make him a woman.....
....The US Army wanted to rally Austria under a new House of Hapsburg.....
......The Germans built a tank 20 feet high and 50 feet long.......
..... The RAF had plans to bomb Germany with porno, thus making Hitler furious (Since he denied that there was any pornography in Germany)........
......The British tried to build a Aircraft Carrier of ice.....
.... Howard Hughes built the Spruce Goose.....
.... There were plans to use a "Bat-Bomb" to burn Tokyo to the ground........
.... The Germans built a gun to shoot around walls.....

So, find a way that WWII would have:
The OSS trying to turn Hitler into a woman
The US Army's "Austrian Unit" entering Austria
The "Maus" tank entering limited service by 1945
The RAF regularly bombing Germany with Porno
The Project Habakkuk carrier existing
The Spruce Gooses being in limited service by 1945
"Bat-Bombs" being used against Tokyo and Osaka
The German gun that fired around corners in wide use by 1945.

Also, find how all these developments (all of which were planned or were limited) would affect the war.

Well, let's see, the results may be disappointing.......

In 1943, the estrogen plan is approved. It is decided to use a tranc gun, and, because the plan is so unlikely to work, to use the most expendible of agents. In consequence, a refugee of no great skill is parachuted into the area around the Berghof, and manages to stay uncaptured long enough to get himself into a tree somewhere near Hitler. We'll even reach the almost ASB level of improbability, and let him get a good shot in with the tranc gun. So, he shoots Hitler with a little dart. The SS bodyguard naturally open up, and kill him within seconds. Believing himself poisoned, Hitler is whisked awayto a hospital to receive treatment from Dr. Morel, and the best doctors Germany can provide, who, even under the Nazis, were among the best in the world. They quickly figure out it was estrogen, and, after feeling sick for a day or so, Hitler is fine. He later makes a speech mocking so bizarre a plan, and the Allies attempt to deny everything, wishing to avoid embarassment. Otherwise all is as in OTL.

The Austrian Plan will need to be played later in the war. We'll say sometime in January, 1945, when the war clears up for a bit. So, the commando units again parachute in, and begin roaming about the Austrian countryside, putting up pro-Allied and pro-Hapsburg propaganda. The Austrian people are bemused by this, and not sure if they should take it seriously. Given that the Gestapo do take it very seriously, as do most Austrian Nazis, the Austrian people decide to ignore it. Besides, the idea of a Hapsburg restoration strikes most Austrians as more than a bit far-fetched, given that Austria is ruled by the Third Reich, and the Russians are advancing from the east. The Hapsburgs hear about it, and, if they haven't already, now make sure to high-tail it for Switzerland. We'll say they succeed, so we don't have any massacres of Hapsburgs. And, besides, I think Otto already was in Switzerland, or some other neutral country. From abroad, they begin to negotiate with the Allies, hoping to get their throne back after the war. Meanwhile, the commandos, having discovered that their plan isn't working, go to plan B, which involves blowing stuff up. They operate for about another month, finally all being rounded up and shot by early April. After the War, Soviet opposition prevents the Hapsburgs from getting their throne back, and all goes as per OTL.

Ok, the Maus goes into production in autumn 1944. To do this has diverted resources from other areas, so the Germans will have fewer Tigers, and will get jets a week or two later. Only a very few are produced, and they first see action in the Battle of the Bulge. There, it quickly becomes obvious that the huge size of the tank has made it almost totally unmaneuverable, and that it is very much too slow. The huge fuel consumption is also a big problem, in an offensive where various units must scrounge gasoline at the expense of other German units. A few of the small Maus contingent are captured by the Allies, who discover that surrounding them with infantry works almost every time, and definitely beats trying to duel them with Shermans. The others are pulled off the line as fuel runs low. A few are re-deployed along the Eastern Front, rather more successfully, but are still not able to make any real difference. By the final Soviet drive on Berlin, the last Maus has been immobilized due to shortage of fuel. Military historians will remember them as Another of Hitler's Dumb Pet Ideas, though a few mavericks will debate if they could have made more of a difference had they been produced earlier.

The RAF began dropping porno on Germany in early 1941, when things were at their most hopeless. Because pure porno-drops would risk planes and crews for little short-term gain, the porn was dumped with the bombs on conventional night bombing runs. At first the Germans think the porn is from some private collection, but are disabused of this notion within hours, when it is found all over whatever city was bombed, and in fairly large quantities. In the more conservative culture of the '40s, the porn is a propaganda bonanza for the Germans, who are able to portray the British as degenerates who not only bomb civilians by night but also are addicted to pornography. Bomber Command decides to cancel the program, and some minor MI official is made the sacrificial lamb, fired after being blamed for the disaster.

Upon Churchill's insistance, Project Habbakuk goes forward, and attempt are made in the winter of 1942 to build a prototype Habbakuk boat. The Habbakuk boat is, in keeping with the original idea to combine the roles of battleship and troop carrier, being made wide and with shallow draft, to support massive batteries of big guns and lots of troops. It is only intended to be used in the Channel, so maneuverability and speed are not supposed to be problems. Luckily, it never gets to the point where this can be tested. The designers of the prototype run into a big problem: ice melts. Even in winter, even in Orkney, where the work is going on, the thing still melts enough to make any structural integrity highly questionable at best. Seams come apart, fittings for non-ice components change shape, and need to be rebuilt over and over. The protoype is eventually finished in early spring, but in days it is pronounced unseaworthy, before even the first tests can be run. The project is quietly abandoned, and the world's first and only Habbakuk boat rapidly turns to slush in drydock.

Not sure about the Spruce Goose. It might have potential.......

The bat bomb is constructed by the United States in 1944, over the objections of almost every military officer who is ware of the idea. Still, one of Roosevelt's brain trust guys says it will work, so the President puts his foot down. It must be tried. Late one night in 1944, a light bomber, loaded mostly with fuel and bats, sets out, and releases the bats over Osaka. If Osaka works, then Tokyo wil be next. Each bat is fitted with a tiny vial containing two types of highly reactive acid, separated by a thin metal wall that slowly dissolves. Just under this is a small napalm bomb. The bats flutter out over Osaka. As they spread over the city chasing insects, the metal dissolves, and the acids meet. The residents of Osaka begin to notice flashes as bats burst into flame. The burning napalm falls in small globs, and ignite a few fires here and there. A few bats are resting on or near buildings, and they are more effective. Within an hour or so, a couple dozen fires are going in Osaka, and there are lots of blackened spots of ground. Some of the fires spread, giving the Osaka fire brigades a hard night, but when the sun rises, the city has only suffered light damage. This is confirmed for the Americans that day, with aerial reconaissance. The results are inconclisive enough that Tokyo is tried, but again, only suffers light damage. After this the plan is abandoned.

Work on the German corner-gun was started in late 1942, during the Battle of Stalingrad, IIRC. In this TL, some genius figures out that it can done cheaply and easily, with a screwed-on frame attached to the stock, a mirror, and a couple pulleys. The thing is not much more complex than a periscope. Best of all, they can be fitted to existing guns by soldiers in the field, and will not need a whole new gun-factory to produce. So, they are rushed to production. They don't get to the front in time to make any difference at Stalingrad, but reach the front by early 1943. They make little difference in 1943, given that most battles were fought in open country, where the things are about useless. They come into their own in 1944. The Germans use them in the bitter urban battles in parts of Normandy, and in Italy. These result in significantly higher Allied casualties in certain urban and town fights, in the +10% range. They see little use in the Ardennes, but are used in urban combat as Germany itself is invaded. Again, Allied casualties are increased about 10%. They are especially annoying in Berlin, costing the Soviets a number of men, and slowing the fall of the city by one day, as the house-to-house fighting is incrementally slowed for the entire battle. As a result, the German surrender comes four days later than in OTL. After the war, there are unpredictable changes from OTL, due to a few famous people having died in the war, who did not in our history.
 
The boats weren't made of just ice. They were made of a special ice called pykrete, which was a mix of ice and wood slurry. It made it melt resistant and stronger than concrete. So strong, in fact, that a block of the stuff deflected a bullet when fired at by an American officer. The ships were to be 2,000 feet long and 1.8 million tons. Pipes filled with coolant would run through the center of the ship to keep it cool. And the US was going to be saddled with the project because the Brits didn't have the resources at the time.

There was a prototype ship built (here is the link) and it survived a hot summer without melting. We were going to build the ships and use them when ivnading Japan, but the astronomical cost and emerging alternatives (mainly mass production of smaller carriers) meant that we know longer needed them. There were no immense technical hurdles and it worked right from the get-go.

I don't know about bat bombs, but I know we were experimenting with pigeon-guided bombs and we were having positive results. The US also had a plane design that could have gone super-sonic and had after-burners, as well as several other advanced features, in 1939... In fact, the design influenced the development of the P-80 Shooting Star.
 
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