If for no other reason than that he’s such a compulsively quotable figure. It’s great fun to take what he actually said in real life, twist it just a little, and imagine it in a political context. For example . . .
FERGUSON, prior to the Labour leadership election of 1994 -
FERGUSON, on challenges -
FERGUSON, on media criticism of Foreign Secretary Tony Blair -
FERGUSON, after a summit meeting with Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi -
FERGUSON, making a final appeal to the public not to swap horses in midstream before the 2005 election -
FERGUSON, on Vladimir Putin -
Maybe that last one’s a bit of a stretch.
Unfortunately, I don’t know enough about British politics to plot out a plausible rise to power or the policies of the Ferguson ministry or what have you. But look! Pretty pictures!
Prime Minister Ferguson with Gordon Brown, Chancellor of the Exchequer, following a Cabinet meeting in 2005
PM Ferguson and Foreign Secretary Tony Blair at a charity football match
Giving a speech in Manchester during the run-up to the 2002 election
Ferguson issues orders to a nameless flunky
Sports and politics are best when mixed.
FERGUSON, prior to the Labour leadership election of 1994 -
"It's getting tickly now – squeaky-bum time, I call it."
FERGUSON, on challenges -
“My greatest challenge is not what's happening at the moment, my greatest challenge was knocking the Tories right off their fucking perch. And you can print that.”
FERGUSON, on media criticism of Foreign Secretary Tony Blair -
"On you go. I'm no fucking talking to you. He's a fucking great man. Yous are fucking idiots."
FERGUSON, after a summit meeting with Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi -
"When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate I check under the sauce to make sure. They are the inventors of the smokescreen."
FERGUSON, making a final appeal to the public not to swap horses in midstream before the 2005 election -
"Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field. It's a fact. Right? And it never really works out that way."
FERGUSON, on Vladimir Putin -
"I remember the first time I saw him, at the 2000 G-8 summit. He just floated over the ground like a cocker spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper in the wind."
Maybe that last one’s a bit of a stretch.
Unfortunately, I don’t know enough about British politics to plot out a plausible rise to power or the policies of the Ferguson ministry or what have you. But look! Pretty pictures!
Prime Minister Ferguson with Gordon Brown, Chancellor of the Exchequer, following a Cabinet meeting in 2005
PM Ferguson and Foreign Secretary Tony Blair at a charity football match
Giving a speech in Manchester during the run-up to the 2002 election
Ferguson issues orders to a nameless flunky
Sports and politics are best when mixed.