I've decided to start this thread as a sort of place to put some of the "deleted scenes" of the original timeline. I will start with these articles that didn't make the final version of ZRE but I do plan to come back from time to time and update other ideas that I had or that have come to me since finishing the TL.
And a few of you have indicated a desire to do a spinoff of Zhirinovsky's Russian Empire. This thread will also to give some folks a place to post your spinoffs, TLIAD's and short stories. Feel free to do so, as I for one would love to read some of them...
Some new names in this update:
___________________________________________________________
DELETED SCENES- PART ONE
Benedict Cumberbatch:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_Cumberbatch
Magneto:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magneto_(comics)
Zack Snyder:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zack_Snyder
Danny Trejo:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Trejo
Stolichnaya:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stolichnaya
__________________________________________________ ___
UIS Presidential Candidate Vladimir Putin in an interview with the BBC on August 1, 2011.
Discussing the state of the UIS media during the Presidency of Vladimir Zhirinovsky
BBC: Mr. Putin, President Lebed came under fire from the West in 2003 over his nationalization of the State Media Company: VGTRK. This coupled with his partial nationalization of the Yukos Oil Company and his removal of Viktor Ivanenko as President of Yukos also won him support from the Worker’s Party as well as the Communist Party. You, however, were very critical of those decisions.
Putin: I was critical because they were lies. He didn’t nationalize them; he just made a big show for the Russian people and then backed off and put his own people to run those companies.
BBC: Lebed named Mikhail Khodorkovsky, a former deputy head of the Communist Youth League, as head of Yukos in 2003. That seemed to be a very large concession to the Communists.
Putin: If the last five years has shown us anything it is that Mikhail Khodorkovsky is no Communist. He is the richest man in the UIS now, and the man he replaced, Viktor Ivanenko, is the second richest man in the UIS. And do you know who the third richest man in the UIS is?
BBC: Who?
Putin: Andrei Zavidiya, the “CEO” of the VGTRK.
BBC: But Zavidiya was very critical of Lebed’s decision in 2003 to seize the VGTRK.
Putin: That was part of the show. That was the agreement, that way it would look good to the Russian people. Here was Lebed breaking up the big corporations. But look at the “compromise” that they worked out with Zavidiya. He is paid over eighty million dollars a year as CEO of the VGTRK. They then name him head of the State Committee on the Press and the Federal Service of Television and Radio Broadcasting. He now is the guy responsible for giving out licenses to all of the VGTRK’s competitors. If they don’t tout the party line, if they don’t pledge fealty to Tsar Alexander, he shuts them down or worse…buys them out.
BBC: Mr. Zavidiya was very critical of you, calling you a “cackling hen”.
Putin: I just asked him one question. How is this not a conflict of interest? How can he run one company and also run the agency that hands out licenses to its competitors…all while buying up every media company he can? It is worse now than under the Soviets, but the West doesn’t see it because it is all done in the name of capitalism.
_____________________
60 Minutes on CBS News - “Lebed: The man behind the mask?” from April 23, 2008
Portions of a Mike Wallace interview with Andrey Zavidiya, former Vice President of Russia.
Courtesy of CBS
Mike Wallace: Mr. Zavidiya, some have criticized your attempt to take total control of the media market in the UIS.
Andrey Zavidiya: Let them complain.
Mike Wallace: Don’t you think it’s a bit unethical for you to be buying up every free market television station when you are CEO of the State Media?
Andrey Zavidiya: I don’t know. Is it unethical for Bank of America to buy out Merrill Lynch and LaSalle Bank?
Mike Wallace: That is a considerably different situation; Bank of America doesn’t also control the Securities and Exchange Commission at the time of the merger.
Andrey Zavidiya: I never let my position as head of State Committee on the Press and the Federal Service of Television and Radio Broadcasting influence by business decisions.
Mike Wallace: What about your shutdown of Boris Berezovsky’s network? That was seen as an attempt to destroy your competition.
Andrey Zavidiya: He made a foolish decision, and I responded accordingly. He decided to run news articles that implicated President Lebed and even me in the murder of General Vyacheslav Tikhomirov, former marshal of the UIS. I told him he better be damn sure he knew what he was doing, because this was nothing short of slander.
Mike Wallace: So you took his broadcast license from him?
Andrey Zavidiya: Let me ask you something sir. If you were to broadcast tonight on your news program that President John Engler was responsible for the murder of a leading member of the Democratic Party, say former President Bob Kerrey, what would happen? What would happen tomorrow morning when Bob Kerrey appeared for the entire world to see? What would happen to your program if it came out that you lied, and not just some small lie, but a lie that was insidious and damaged the very institution of democracy in your country? Do you think this program would still be on the air tomorrow?
__________________________________________
Screenplay of the film “The Uncanny X-Men” (2011)
Director:
Zack Snyder
Starring:
Benedict Cumberbatch (Erik Lehnsherr)
Danny Trejo (Bartender)
5. INT. EL PATRON BAR
The setting is a very dodgy looking Mexican bar. We see three men sitting at a table with a bottle of vodka and several shot glasses in front of them. They all look Russian or Serbian and somewhat intimidating. They are conversing with each other in Serbian. The BARTENDER is behind the bar wiping down some glasses. On the wall are both the UIS flag and the Mexican flag. We see ERIK LEHNSHERR walk into the bar looking completely out of place. He is dressed like a British backpacker, with a t-shirt and a panama hat along with a large backpack. He is holding a map and staring at it with a confused look.
BARTENDER (IN SPANISH)
You lost?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Uh, si. Si. Uh…don-day…un…Hotel Pacifico?
At this time the three men look up and look amused at the clearly misplaced tourist.
FIRST MAN (SARCASTICALLY)
Hey…English man! Why are you going to Hotel Pacifico? Come! Join us!
The three men laugh.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Well, I suppose I could use a pint.
BARTENDER
No pint. Only bottle.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Uh, ok. I guess I’ll have a bottle of Guinness.
The three men start laughing again.
FIRST MAN
You won’t find Guinness here!
ERIK LEHNSHERR
OK, well, what do you have?
BARTENDER
Tequila. Tic Tack. Vodka.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Well, I’ve have my fair share of Tic Tack when I was in El Salvador, and my fair share of Tequila here in Mexico. I suppose since I’m about to cross the border a Vodka would be fine.
The BARTENDER glares at ERIK and says nothing as he grabs a bottle of Russian vodka.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Ah, Russian vodka! Quite nice!
The three men start to laugh.
FIRST MAN
You like Russian vodka?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Yes. I must admit, I do. I suppose everyone in England has a soft spot for Russian vodka. With sanctions making it so hard to get-
The THIRD MAN glares at ERIK at the mention of the word sanctions.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (EMBARRESSED)
I’m terribly sorry. I just meant to say that it was quite difficult to get good Russian vodka for quite some time in England. But I, uh, I…let me start over. Erik Lehnsherr here-
ERIK sticks his hand out as he pulls up a chair. The three men ignore his hand.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Right. Uh, well, thank you for inviting me to join you. Must say, it is nice to find other Europeans here in Mexico. I must admit, I didn’t expect to find a Russian bar here in Juarez. You are Russian, correct?
FIRST MAN (LAUGHING)
No. We are Serbs.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Serbs! Lovely! Congratulations on beating us in football last year, must say, didn’t expect to see that coming.
The three men seem to be pleased at the statement. The THIRD MAN seems to almost lower his guard as he smirks.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Of course I didn’t expect you to lose to Croatia by six goals either. I guess they just wanted it more than you did.
At the mention of Croatia, the demeanor of the three men changes once again, with the third man suddenly looking like he is about to take the vodka bottle and hit ERIK over the head with it.
FIRST MAN
Why do you come to Juarez, English man?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Ah, well, you see, I’m looking for some old acquaintances. Ironically, I met them in Bosnia, or what use to be Bosnia.
FIRST MAN
You were in Bosnia?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Yes? Have you ever been?
FIRST MAN
Yes. I’m from Sarajevo. South Sarajevo. We all are.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Ah, lovely city Sarajevo. Bloody shame what happened to it.
FIRST MAN (suspiciously)
You went to Sarajevo?
ERIK seems to ignore the statement as the BARTENDER brings over a shot glass and a bottle of vodka.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (TO THE BARTENDER)
Gracias.
The bartender pours ERIK a shot.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
I must say, I really love Russian vodka. Very well made. Even the bottle is a work of art.
ERIK holds up the shot glass
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Cheers!
The THREE MEN look suspiciously at ERIK. We can now see that the THIRD MAN has a gun in his belt which he pulls out under the table and points towards ERIK.
FIRST MAN
Ziveli.
ERIK and the three men down their shots. The three men look at each other nervously.
SECOND MAN
When did you go to Sarajevo?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Hmm? Sarajevo? Oh, I suppose the last time I was there was…hmmm. Eighteen years ago. When I was a boy.
FIRST MAN (SUSPICIOUSLY)
You were in Sarajevo…eighteen years ago?
ERIK LEHNSHERR (TAKING THE VODKA BOTTLE)
I must say, if you want something made right, you need to go to the Russians. Here-
ERIK bends over and opens up his backpack. He pulls out his passport.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Here, look at this.
He flicks his British passport across the table to the first man. The first man doesn’t touch it.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
I thought I’d save some money and get my passport from a Romanian. Gentleman named George Odekirk. Lovely fellow, but the quality is just not what you get with a Nabokov passport. I mean, you can take one look at that and you can tell my name isn’t Erik Lehnsherr. I might as well tell everyone my real name with that bloody thing. I might as well tell them I’m Bosnian.
The three men just up from the table. The SECOND MAN pulls a knife out while the THIRD MAN pulls out his gun. However, we see the vodka bottle fly off of the table and strike the SECOND MAN in the face, dropping him to the ground. The THIRD MAN then seems to be struggling with the gun. HE seems unable to keep the gun from turning.
THIRD MAN (IN SERBIAN)
What…are…you…doing? Please…stop!
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
I begged you too. I was just a boy and I got down on my knees and begged you for my life. For my mother’s life. Do you remember? Do you remember a boy named Rasim Oric or was he just one of many thousands? Do you remember when we last met? Because I promise you, I’ve been thinking about you ever since.
The BARTENDER reaches under the counter and pulls out a shotgun. We see the knife that was on the table fly past ERIK and hit the bartender in the forehead, killing him instantly. Suddenly the knife comes flying back to the same spot on the table.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
Do you remember me?! Do you remember Rasim Oric?!
The barrel of the gun is now at the mouth of THIRD MAN. He has his lips pressed together tightly as the gun pushes its way inside of his mouth.
THIRD MAN (IN SERBIAN)
Mercy…
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
You are the last person who should be asking me for mercy.
The gun goes off. We see the THIRD MAN crumple to the ground, dead. The FIRST MAN is standing in horror at what he has just witnessed.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
Hello Darko. It’s so good to have finally found you. Please, take a seat.
The FIRST MAN nearly falls into the chair.
FIRST MAN (SERBIAN)
Please, I was only following orders!
ERIK LEHNSHERR (SERBIAN)
I know. Which is why I’m killing you last.
FIRST MAN (SERBIAN)
Please! I never meant to hurt anyone! I don’t want to die here, like this.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
I didn’t want to watch you rape my sister and then shoot my father in a football stadium either. But, you had your orders.
ERIK bends over and picks up the broken vodka bottle off the ground.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Well, this won’t do.
We see a bottle fly off the shelf from the bar, across the room and into ERIK’S hand.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
You know, the first time I ever saw a bottle of Stolichnaya was during the Rape of Sarajevo.
We see the top unscrewing itself despite the fact that ERIK is not touching the top of the bottle.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
And do you know what I will always remember about that bottle?
We see the cap of the vodka bottle floating next to ERIK’S head.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
The bottle cap.
The bottle cap goes flying into the FIRST MAN’S forehead, killing him.
________________________________________________
Controversy over X-Men reboot’s portrayal of super villain Magneto
Entertainment Weekly
July 22, 2010
(SAN DIEGO) Well, we have to admit, Zack Snyder is off to a pretty good start. Controversy surrounding the planned 2011 release of the X-men reboot, The Uncanny X-Men, passed its first hurdle after fans at Comic-Con appeared to embrace British actor Benedict Cumberbatch, who is slated to play arch-villain Magneto in the upcoming film. After a three minute clip was played, fans in attendance stood and cheered for over two minutes over Cumberbatch’s gritty and dark portrayal of the comic book icon.
“I must admit, I know this is a risky role,” Cumberbatch admitted during a Q&A after the clip was played, “Magneto is an iconic figure in comic book history, and we are radically changing his back story. But we think it fits with what we are trying to do.”
Controversy erupted after Snyder announced that he was casting Cumberbatch as the lead in the upcoming X-Man reboot, while also admitting that he was “scrapping the origin” of Magneto and going with a more modern take on the popular anti-hero.
“We decided to go with a younger Magneto,” director Zack Snyder said, “one who didn’t grow up as a Jew in Germany during World War II. Part of this is out of necessity. Magneto would be around 80-years old today in the original story, and this gives us more options with the franchise.”
The new back story of Magneto features him as a Bosnian refugee who flees Sarajevo during the Rape of Sarajevo in 1996 as a child. Several Muslim rights groups have condemned the portrayal, citing concerns over Magneto’s implied Islamic faith in the films coupled with his desire to commit terrorist acts.
“I understand that many people are worried about Magneto coming off as some sort of mutant Islamic terrorist in this film,” Cumberbatch added, “but I assure you, the only thing we are changing is Magneto’s back story. He is not going to be portrayed as some sort of cheap terrorist caricature.”
Screenplay of the film “Dr. Strangelove or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” (2005)
Director:
Tim Burton
Starring:
John Goodman (General Buck Turgidson)
Helena Bonham Carter (UIS Ambassador Raisa de Sadeski)
Stanley Tucci (President Merkin Muffley)
Johnny Depp (Dr. Strangelove)
Tim Roth (Jack Stanies)
24. INT. THE WAR ROOM.
We see AMBASSADOR DE SADESKI standing next to PRESIDENT MUFFLEY. GENERAL TURGIDSON and STANIES are standing off to the side listening to the ambassador.
DE SADESKI
I assure you Mr. President, the Elipton bomb is very, very real. When it is detonated, it will turn the entire planet into a lifeless rock. Earth will resemble the moon, and everything on the surface of this planet will be exterminated.
GENERAL TURGIDSON
Ambassador, that is just ridiculous. Even the most cynical, tree hugging liberal scientist employed by the US government doesn’t think that one bomb could do that much damage. And although I may question their judgment on pretty much everything regarding global warming, I tend to believe them when they say that the UIS can’t destroy the planet.
DE SADESKI
Well, why don’t you ask your so called expert on UIS nuclear capabilities if this is possible?
MUFFLEY
Uh, Dr. Strangelove, is this possible? Did the UIS have the capability to destroy the planet when you were employed by the, uh, Latvians?
We see DR. STRANGELOVE slowly wheel himself out of a shadow and into the light. He is wearing dark glasses and is smoking a cigarette. He is wheelchair bound and his gloved right hand is shaking ever so slightly. DE SADESKI glares at STRANGELOVE with unmistakable contempt.
STRANGELOVE
But of course my President. The technology is present and easily obtainable. All one needs is the…will to build such a bomb.
MUFFLEY (TO DE SADESKI)
But why would you build such a bomb in the first place?
DE SADESKI
I was opposed, as was our President. But as you know, former President Vladimir Zhirinovsky sometimes got rather silly ideas in his head. And unfortunately, after he saw Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, he became obsessed with the Elipton device.
TURGIDSON
You mean to tell me there is no way to prevent this bomb from going off?
DE SADESKI
Well, after Kosovo we were somewhat concerned about being hit first and being unable to respond. So it is triggered automatically in the event of a nuclear strike. We are powerless to stop it.
MUFFLEY
Dr. Strangelove, is there anything we can do to stop this bomb?
Cut away as we see TURGIDSON turn to STANIES and whispers to him
TURGIDSON (TO STANIES)
Where did we find this guy again?
STANIES
Latvia. He was a former Soviet scientist from Latvia.
TURGIDSON
Strangelove doesn’t sound like a Russian name. Or a Latvian name.
STANIES
It was the name on his passport when he came to this country.
TURGIDSON
Hmmm. Seems strange that he knows so much about Zhirinovsky’s bomb. And hell, the ambassador almost seems to recognize him…
STANIES
Trust me. He is from Latvia. He was a scientist before the fall of the Soviet Union. After that he moved to Macedonia to get an associates degree in massage therapy. I can assure you, he is not a former Marshal of the UIS wanted for war crimes by the UN Tribunal.
TURGIDSON
But I didn’t mention the UN Tribunal?
We now return to the discussion between PRESIDENT MUFFLEY, AMBASSADOR DE SADESKI, and DR. STRANGELOVE
STRANGELOVE
I can tell you that, since coming to this country I have been commissioned to study the Elipton bomb, and, ehm, duplicate it…for research purposes only of course.
DE SADESKI
Of course, after all, it isn’t like you have any loyalty to your home country anymore.
STRANGELOVE
Well maybe if my home country didn’t send me to The Skopje School of Massage Therapy as punishment for a single, totally accidental, genocide, I wouldn’t have to be here right now.
STANGELOVE looks around the room, realizing what he said.
STRANGELOVE
Did I say genocide? I sometimes get confused when I speak English. I meant…I accidently crashed the company car.
MUFFLEY
Doctor, is there anything we can do to disable the bomb?
STRANGELOVE
Yes. Don’t drop a thermal nuclear bomb on the Union of Independent States.
MUFFLEY (DISSAPOINTED)
Uh, thank you Doctor.
STRANGELOVE (GIVING A FASCIST SALUTE)
I serve the United of Independent States!
MUFFLEY
Uh, it’s just United States. They are not independent.
STRANGELOVE
Yes. They are not independent at all! Oh, they like to think they are. But they are not! Nobody thinks they are independent! Nobody says “look at Georgia, they are independent!” Ha! They are not independent…they are all part of the United of Independent States!
And a few of you have indicated a desire to do a spinoff of Zhirinovsky's Russian Empire. This thread will also to give some folks a place to post your spinoffs, TLIAD's and short stories. Feel free to do so, as I for one would love to read some of them...
Some new names in this update:
___________________________________________________________
DELETED SCENES- PART ONE
Benedict Cumberbatch:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_Cumberbatch
Magneto:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magneto_(comics)
Zack Snyder:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zack_Snyder
Danny Trejo:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Trejo
Stolichnaya:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stolichnaya
__________________________________________________ ___
UIS Presidential Candidate Vladimir Putin in an interview with the BBC on August 1, 2011.
Discussing the state of the UIS media during the Presidency of Vladimir Zhirinovsky
BBC: Mr. Putin, President Lebed came under fire from the West in 2003 over his nationalization of the State Media Company: VGTRK. This coupled with his partial nationalization of the Yukos Oil Company and his removal of Viktor Ivanenko as President of Yukos also won him support from the Worker’s Party as well as the Communist Party. You, however, were very critical of those decisions.
Putin: I was critical because they were lies. He didn’t nationalize them; he just made a big show for the Russian people and then backed off and put his own people to run those companies.
BBC: Lebed named Mikhail Khodorkovsky, a former deputy head of the Communist Youth League, as head of Yukos in 2003. That seemed to be a very large concession to the Communists.
Putin: If the last five years has shown us anything it is that Mikhail Khodorkovsky is no Communist. He is the richest man in the UIS now, and the man he replaced, Viktor Ivanenko, is the second richest man in the UIS. And do you know who the third richest man in the UIS is?
BBC: Who?
Putin: Andrei Zavidiya, the “CEO” of the VGTRK.
BBC: But Zavidiya was very critical of Lebed’s decision in 2003 to seize the VGTRK.
Putin: That was part of the show. That was the agreement, that way it would look good to the Russian people. Here was Lebed breaking up the big corporations. But look at the “compromise” that they worked out with Zavidiya. He is paid over eighty million dollars a year as CEO of the VGTRK. They then name him head of the State Committee on the Press and the Federal Service of Television and Radio Broadcasting. He now is the guy responsible for giving out licenses to all of the VGTRK’s competitors. If they don’t tout the party line, if they don’t pledge fealty to Tsar Alexander, he shuts them down or worse…buys them out.
BBC: Mr. Zavidiya was very critical of you, calling you a “cackling hen”.
Putin: I just asked him one question. How is this not a conflict of interest? How can he run one company and also run the agency that hands out licenses to its competitors…all while buying up every media company he can? It is worse now than under the Soviets, but the West doesn’t see it because it is all done in the name of capitalism.
_____________________
60 Minutes on CBS News - “Lebed: The man behind the mask?” from April 23, 2008
Portions of a Mike Wallace interview with Andrey Zavidiya, former Vice President of Russia.
Courtesy of CBS
Mike Wallace: Mr. Zavidiya, some have criticized your attempt to take total control of the media market in the UIS.
Andrey Zavidiya: Let them complain.
Mike Wallace: Don’t you think it’s a bit unethical for you to be buying up every free market television station when you are CEO of the State Media?
Andrey Zavidiya: I don’t know. Is it unethical for Bank of America to buy out Merrill Lynch and LaSalle Bank?
Mike Wallace: That is a considerably different situation; Bank of America doesn’t also control the Securities and Exchange Commission at the time of the merger.
Andrey Zavidiya: I never let my position as head of State Committee on the Press and the Federal Service of Television and Radio Broadcasting influence by business decisions.
Mike Wallace: What about your shutdown of Boris Berezovsky’s network? That was seen as an attempt to destroy your competition.
Andrey Zavidiya: He made a foolish decision, and I responded accordingly. He decided to run news articles that implicated President Lebed and even me in the murder of General Vyacheslav Tikhomirov, former marshal of the UIS. I told him he better be damn sure he knew what he was doing, because this was nothing short of slander.
Mike Wallace: So you took his broadcast license from him?
Andrey Zavidiya: Let me ask you something sir. If you were to broadcast tonight on your news program that President John Engler was responsible for the murder of a leading member of the Democratic Party, say former President Bob Kerrey, what would happen? What would happen tomorrow morning when Bob Kerrey appeared for the entire world to see? What would happen to your program if it came out that you lied, and not just some small lie, but a lie that was insidious and damaged the very institution of democracy in your country? Do you think this program would still be on the air tomorrow?
__________________________________________
Screenplay of the film “The Uncanny X-Men” (2011)
Director:
Zack Snyder
Starring:
Benedict Cumberbatch (Erik Lehnsherr)
Danny Trejo (Bartender)
5. INT. EL PATRON BAR
The setting is a very dodgy looking Mexican bar. We see three men sitting at a table with a bottle of vodka and several shot glasses in front of them. They all look Russian or Serbian and somewhat intimidating. They are conversing with each other in Serbian. The BARTENDER is behind the bar wiping down some glasses. On the wall are both the UIS flag and the Mexican flag. We see ERIK LEHNSHERR walk into the bar looking completely out of place. He is dressed like a British backpacker, with a t-shirt and a panama hat along with a large backpack. He is holding a map and staring at it with a confused look.
BARTENDER (IN SPANISH)
You lost?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Uh, si. Si. Uh…don-day…un…Hotel Pacifico?
At this time the three men look up and look amused at the clearly misplaced tourist.
FIRST MAN (SARCASTICALLY)
Hey…English man! Why are you going to Hotel Pacifico? Come! Join us!
The three men laugh.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Well, I suppose I could use a pint.
BARTENDER
No pint. Only bottle.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Uh, ok. I guess I’ll have a bottle of Guinness.
The three men start laughing again.
FIRST MAN
You won’t find Guinness here!
ERIK LEHNSHERR
OK, well, what do you have?
BARTENDER
Tequila. Tic Tack. Vodka.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Well, I’ve have my fair share of Tic Tack when I was in El Salvador, and my fair share of Tequila here in Mexico. I suppose since I’m about to cross the border a Vodka would be fine.
The BARTENDER glares at ERIK and says nothing as he grabs a bottle of Russian vodka.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Ah, Russian vodka! Quite nice!
The three men start to laugh.
FIRST MAN
You like Russian vodka?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Yes. I must admit, I do. I suppose everyone in England has a soft spot for Russian vodka. With sanctions making it so hard to get-
The THIRD MAN glares at ERIK at the mention of the word sanctions.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (EMBARRESSED)
I’m terribly sorry. I just meant to say that it was quite difficult to get good Russian vodka for quite some time in England. But I, uh, I…let me start over. Erik Lehnsherr here-
ERIK sticks his hand out as he pulls up a chair. The three men ignore his hand.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Right. Uh, well, thank you for inviting me to join you. Must say, it is nice to find other Europeans here in Mexico. I must admit, I didn’t expect to find a Russian bar here in Juarez. You are Russian, correct?
FIRST MAN (LAUGHING)
No. We are Serbs.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Serbs! Lovely! Congratulations on beating us in football last year, must say, didn’t expect to see that coming.
The three men seem to be pleased at the statement. The THIRD MAN seems to almost lower his guard as he smirks.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Of course I didn’t expect you to lose to Croatia by six goals either. I guess they just wanted it more than you did.
At the mention of Croatia, the demeanor of the three men changes once again, with the third man suddenly looking like he is about to take the vodka bottle and hit ERIK over the head with it.
FIRST MAN
Why do you come to Juarez, English man?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Ah, well, you see, I’m looking for some old acquaintances. Ironically, I met them in Bosnia, or what use to be Bosnia.
FIRST MAN
You were in Bosnia?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Yes? Have you ever been?
FIRST MAN
Yes. I’m from Sarajevo. South Sarajevo. We all are.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Ah, lovely city Sarajevo. Bloody shame what happened to it.
FIRST MAN (suspiciously)
You went to Sarajevo?
ERIK seems to ignore the statement as the BARTENDER brings over a shot glass and a bottle of vodka.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (TO THE BARTENDER)
Gracias.
The bartender pours ERIK a shot.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
I must say, I really love Russian vodka. Very well made. Even the bottle is a work of art.
ERIK holds up the shot glass
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Cheers!
The THREE MEN look suspiciously at ERIK. We can now see that the THIRD MAN has a gun in his belt which he pulls out under the table and points towards ERIK.
FIRST MAN
Ziveli.
ERIK and the three men down their shots. The three men look at each other nervously.
SECOND MAN
When did you go to Sarajevo?
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Hmm? Sarajevo? Oh, I suppose the last time I was there was…hmmm. Eighteen years ago. When I was a boy.
FIRST MAN (SUSPICIOUSLY)
You were in Sarajevo…eighteen years ago?
ERIK LEHNSHERR (TAKING THE VODKA BOTTLE)
I must say, if you want something made right, you need to go to the Russians. Here-
ERIK bends over and opens up his backpack. He pulls out his passport.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Here, look at this.
He flicks his British passport across the table to the first man. The first man doesn’t touch it.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
I thought I’d save some money and get my passport from a Romanian. Gentleman named George Odekirk. Lovely fellow, but the quality is just not what you get with a Nabokov passport. I mean, you can take one look at that and you can tell my name isn’t Erik Lehnsherr. I might as well tell everyone my real name with that bloody thing. I might as well tell them I’m Bosnian.
The three men just up from the table. The SECOND MAN pulls a knife out while the THIRD MAN pulls out his gun. However, we see the vodka bottle fly off of the table and strike the SECOND MAN in the face, dropping him to the ground. The THIRD MAN then seems to be struggling with the gun. HE seems unable to keep the gun from turning.
THIRD MAN (IN SERBIAN)
What…are…you…doing? Please…stop!
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
I begged you too. I was just a boy and I got down on my knees and begged you for my life. For my mother’s life. Do you remember? Do you remember a boy named Rasim Oric or was he just one of many thousands? Do you remember when we last met? Because I promise you, I’ve been thinking about you ever since.
The BARTENDER reaches under the counter and pulls out a shotgun. We see the knife that was on the table fly past ERIK and hit the bartender in the forehead, killing him instantly. Suddenly the knife comes flying back to the same spot on the table.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
Do you remember me?! Do you remember Rasim Oric?!
The barrel of the gun is now at the mouth of THIRD MAN. He has his lips pressed together tightly as the gun pushes its way inside of his mouth.
THIRD MAN (IN SERBIAN)
Mercy…
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
You are the last person who should be asking me for mercy.
The gun goes off. We see the THIRD MAN crumple to the ground, dead. The FIRST MAN is standing in horror at what he has just witnessed.
ERIK LEHNSHERR (IN SERBIAN)
Hello Darko. It’s so good to have finally found you. Please, take a seat.
The FIRST MAN nearly falls into the chair.
FIRST MAN (SERBIAN)
Please, I was only following orders!
ERIK LEHNSHERR (SERBIAN)
I know. Which is why I’m killing you last.
FIRST MAN (SERBIAN)
Please! I never meant to hurt anyone! I don’t want to die here, like this.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
I didn’t want to watch you rape my sister and then shoot my father in a football stadium either. But, you had your orders.
ERIK bends over and picks up the broken vodka bottle off the ground.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
Well, this won’t do.
We see a bottle fly off the shelf from the bar, across the room and into ERIK’S hand.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
You know, the first time I ever saw a bottle of Stolichnaya was during the Rape of Sarajevo.
We see the top unscrewing itself despite the fact that ERIK is not touching the top of the bottle.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
And do you know what I will always remember about that bottle?
We see the cap of the vodka bottle floating next to ERIK’S head.
ERIK LEHNSHERR
The bottle cap.
The bottle cap goes flying into the FIRST MAN’S forehead, killing him.
________________________________________________
Controversy over X-Men reboot’s portrayal of super villain Magneto
Entertainment Weekly
July 22, 2010
(SAN DIEGO) Well, we have to admit, Zack Snyder is off to a pretty good start. Controversy surrounding the planned 2011 release of the X-men reboot, The Uncanny X-Men, passed its first hurdle after fans at Comic-Con appeared to embrace British actor Benedict Cumberbatch, who is slated to play arch-villain Magneto in the upcoming film. After a three minute clip was played, fans in attendance stood and cheered for over two minutes over Cumberbatch’s gritty and dark portrayal of the comic book icon.
“I must admit, I know this is a risky role,” Cumberbatch admitted during a Q&A after the clip was played, “Magneto is an iconic figure in comic book history, and we are radically changing his back story. But we think it fits with what we are trying to do.”
Controversy erupted after Snyder announced that he was casting Cumberbatch as the lead in the upcoming X-Man reboot, while also admitting that he was “scrapping the origin” of Magneto and going with a more modern take on the popular anti-hero.
“We decided to go with a younger Magneto,” director Zack Snyder said, “one who didn’t grow up as a Jew in Germany during World War II. Part of this is out of necessity. Magneto would be around 80-years old today in the original story, and this gives us more options with the franchise.”
The new back story of Magneto features him as a Bosnian refugee who flees Sarajevo during the Rape of Sarajevo in 1996 as a child. Several Muslim rights groups have condemned the portrayal, citing concerns over Magneto’s implied Islamic faith in the films coupled with his desire to commit terrorist acts.
“I understand that many people are worried about Magneto coming off as some sort of mutant Islamic terrorist in this film,” Cumberbatch added, “but I assure you, the only thing we are changing is Magneto’s back story. He is not going to be portrayed as some sort of cheap terrorist caricature.”
Screenplay of the film “Dr. Strangelove or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” (2005)
Director:
Tim Burton
Starring:
John Goodman (General Buck Turgidson)
Helena Bonham Carter (UIS Ambassador Raisa de Sadeski)
Stanley Tucci (President Merkin Muffley)
Johnny Depp (Dr. Strangelove)
Tim Roth (Jack Stanies)
24. INT. THE WAR ROOM.
We see AMBASSADOR DE SADESKI standing next to PRESIDENT MUFFLEY. GENERAL TURGIDSON and STANIES are standing off to the side listening to the ambassador.
DE SADESKI
I assure you Mr. President, the Elipton bomb is very, very real. When it is detonated, it will turn the entire planet into a lifeless rock. Earth will resemble the moon, and everything on the surface of this planet will be exterminated.
GENERAL TURGIDSON
Ambassador, that is just ridiculous. Even the most cynical, tree hugging liberal scientist employed by the US government doesn’t think that one bomb could do that much damage. And although I may question their judgment on pretty much everything regarding global warming, I tend to believe them when they say that the UIS can’t destroy the planet.
DE SADESKI
Well, why don’t you ask your so called expert on UIS nuclear capabilities if this is possible?
MUFFLEY
Uh, Dr. Strangelove, is this possible? Did the UIS have the capability to destroy the planet when you were employed by the, uh, Latvians?
We see DR. STRANGELOVE slowly wheel himself out of a shadow and into the light. He is wearing dark glasses and is smoking a cigarette. He is wheelchair bound and his gloved right hand is shaking ever so slightly. DE SADESKI glares at STRANGELOVE with unmistakable contempt.
STRANGELOVE
But of course my President. The technology is present and easily obtainable. All one needs is the…will to build such a bomb.
MUFFLEY (TO DE SADESKI)
But why would you build such a bomb in the first place?
DE SADESKI
I was opposed, as was our President. But as you know, former President Vladimir Zhirinovsky sometimes got rather silly ideas in his head. And unfortunately, after he saw Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, he became obsessed with the Elipton device.
TURGIDSON
You mean to tell me there is no way to prevent this bomb from going off?
DE SADESKI
Well, after Kosovo we were somewhat concerned about being hit first and being unable to respond. So it is triggered automatically in the event of a nuclear strike. We are powerless to stop it.
MUFFLEY
Dr. Strangelove, is there anything we can do to stop this bomb?
Cut away as we see TURGIDSON turn to STANIES and whispers to him
TURGIDSON (TO STANIES)
Where did we find this guy again?
STANIES
Latvia. He was a former Soviet scientist from Latvia.
TURGIDSON
Strangelove doesn’t sound like a Russian name. Or a Latvian name.
STANIES
It was the name on his passport when he came to this country.
TURGIDSON
Hmmm. Seems strange that he knows so much about Zhirinovsky’s bomb. And hell, the ambassador almost seems to recognize him…
STANIES
Trust me. He is from Latvia. He was a scientist before the fall of the Soviet Union. After that he moved to Macedonia to get an associates degree in massage therapy. I can assure you, he is not a former Marshal of the UIS wanted for war crimes by the UN Tribunal.
TURGIDSON
But I didn’t mention the UN Tribunal?
We now return to the discussion between PRESIDENT MUFFLEY, AMBASSADOR DE SADESKI, and DR. STRANGELOVE
STRANGELOVE
I can tell you that, since coming to this country I have been commissioned to study the Elipton bomb, and, ehm, duplicate it…for research purposes only of course.
DE SADESKI
Of course, after all, it isn’t like you have any loyalty to your home country anymore.
STRANGELOVE
Well maybe if my home country didn’t send me to The Skopje School of Massage Therapy as punishment for a single, totally accidental, genocide, I wouldn’t have to be here right now.
STANGELOVE looks around the room, realizing what he said.
STRANGELOVE
Did I say genocide? I sometimes get confused when I speak English. I meant…I accidently crashed the company car.
MUFFLEY
Doctor, is there anything we can do to disable the bomb?
STRANGELOVE
Yes. Don’t drop a thermal nuclear bomb on the Union of Independent States.
MUFFLEY (DISSAPOINTED)
Uh, thank you Doctor.
STRANGELOVE (GIVING A FASCIST SALUTE)
I serve the United of Independent States!
MUFFLEY
Uh, it’s just United States. They are not independent.
STRANGELOVE
Yes. They are not independent at all! Oh, they like to think they are. But they are not! Nobody thinks they are independent! Nobody says “look at Georgia, they are independent!” Ha! They are not independent…they are all part of the United of Independent States!