This is really creepy and should be deleted

[Burton K Wheeler]

http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/female

[Fellatio Nelson]

Eerily accurate, however.

[Burton K Wheeler]

Who the fuck comes up with things like this? I am not going to look at who created/edited it, but I'm tempted to just so I can know who to hate.

[Fellatio Nelson]

Who the fuck comes up with things like this? I am not going to look at who created/edited it, but I'm tempted to just so I can know who to hate.

Left-handed Maxwell edited it.

But as to its origin... I didn't even know it was there.

[MrP]

I think I saw that last week. In order to seem normal, I shall pretend it struck me as creepy, too, rather than making almost no impression.

[Burton K Wheeler]

It gives me the same cold chill as when some creepwad posts a "WE HAVE A NEW FEMALE MEMBER" thread. I happen to know that there are female posters here who go out of their way to hide it because of shit like this.

[Fellatio Nelson]

But I'm posting this for self-promotion.

Fellatio Nelson
Fellatio Nelson is an active member (oo-er) in Chat; indeed, he is among the vanguard of the resident Gaysexualists (a.k.a. The Sinister Gay Agenda) on AH.Com.

The Gaysexualists are currently engaged a remorseless, sweaty, moonlight-dappling-their-muscular-frames tag-team wrestling match against the Heterosexual Reconquista, which is led by a drunk, horny-helmeted viking American soldier called The Bald Imposter and the Yorkshire Separatist, Thande.

Fellatio also contributes to other parts of the Forum... but I can’t quite remember what... sometimes he adds some stuff about ships and the Royal Navy.

Frequently has his “copyright infringed” by certain “unauthorised” members - see Nek - who cannot get enough of his buff physique and matinee-idol looks. They seek to download his craven image for singularly nefarious purposes.

Also creator of “Homoendo” (TM); the trademarked construct used as short-hand for “Homosexual Innuendo”.

His hobbies include exploring the ‘Welsh hinterland’: see Kit and looking at pictures of Matt Damon.

Surprisingly, thanks to a youthful encounter with an Italian lady known only as ‘Signora Whatshername’, Fell has considerably more experience with such matters than most of the American teenagers on the board.

Epithets

Ubiquitously, “Fell”; or otherwise “Sexy Bugger”.

Catchphrases

- Oo-er!

- Do you do it doggy-doggy?

- Dogs’ Cocks

- I am touched. Frequently. Right there. Yup, that’s it. There. - Having “(in a good/nice/bad/nasty way)” appended to a statement to grant greater understanding.

Claims to Fame

Inadvertently found and named the nation state of Sudanasia whilst drunk late one night, during the course of an investigation to determine whether Floid was, in fact, the television chef-cum-drinker (oo-er) Keith Floyd. It has since transpired that Floid is the Sudanases half-brother of said British chef.

Also discovered that Romulus Augustulus is actually Borat; a man famed for his boundless “Boratitude” (TM), which has yet to be fully defined.

Developed the term ‘cugly’, as shorthand for Cute/Ugly; namely, those individuals whose facial features would at first glance make them seem plain, average or downright ugly - especially if they were they to let themselves go - yet, examined together, create an extraordinarily alluring combination that makes them more sexy than ostensibly “beautiful” people.

Baldianism

Professor F(uscia) Nelson recently forwarded to his nephew Fellatio - by way of his alledged sister Felicity (or ‘Flick’) - the results of a recent academic pot-holing expedition in darkest Peru. Having entered one cave shortly after a group of schoolchildren armed with crayons had departed, Prof. Nelson discovered a crude rendering of The Bald Imposter, which he dated to prehistoric times. Hence Fellatio, who bears an uncanny similarity to Baldie in almost all respects, instigated the veneration of the said Horny Montanan Mountain Man (in a good way, not a gay way, although... - no, definitely not in a gay way - because that would border on the incestuous).

Trivia

Contrary to expections, Fellatio Nelson is married to a buxom Devonshire lass called Emma Hamilton. They have three children between the ages of 3 and 6, Full Nelson, Half Nelson and Nelson Mandela Nelson, and depend on the pittance Fell is paid by Her Britannic Majesty’s Government to keep them in Turkey Twizzlers and Ritalin.

His Works

- Some stuff about Pirates; “Fellatio’s Rough Riders”; something about Sherlock Homo, but can’t quite recall; and the adventures of “HMS Gimp Throttler”. Latterly embarked upon a massively immensely huge story called "Dial M for Elastic", featuring loads of people and includes both an airship and crude racial stereotyping.

[Burton K Wheeler]

How does one go about deleting a wiki article?

[Fellatio Nelson]

How does one go about deleting a wiki article?

I assume you login, edit it by deleting it (the contents, if not the thread).

[MrP]

It gives me the same cold chill as when some creepwad posts a "WE HAVE A NEW FEMALE MEMBER" thread. I happen to know that there are female posters here who go out of their way to hide it because of shit like this.

Aw, poor chaps! :(

Then, yes, to the delete button!

[Ran Exilis]

Who the fuck comes up with things like this? I am not going to look at who created/edited it, but I'm tempted to just so I can know who to hate.

I swear, I had nothing to do with it!
Honestly!

(Baxter's female? hee....)

[MrP]

Right, went back and deleted it. For future reference - all that seems to be necessary it to select all the text, delete it and save the change. Hope people are less nervy now. :)

[Thande]

I don't see why that was any different to the articles listing say the German members or the members who are veterans. OK, maybe the prelude paragraph was a bit creepy, but it sounded like it was the concept Baldie was objecting to.

[Burton K Wheeler]

I don't see why that was any different to the articles listing say the German members or the members who are veterans. OK, maybe the prelude paragraph was a bit creepy, but it sounded like it was the concept Baldie was objecting to.

It's odd that it focused on people with only a couple (or no) posts, not well-known posters whose identity is common knowledge. If someone were to go through lots the profiles looking for clues that people with only 5 posts from 2004 were, say, German, or military veterans, that would be wierd.

[fortyseven]

There was nothing wrong with it. You could have at least edited it/PM'd Ian rather than deleting my page.

[Thande]

It gives me the same cold chill as when some creepwad posts a "WE HAVE A NEW FEMALE MEMBER" thread. I happen to know that there are female posters here who go out of their way to hide it because of shit like this.

Hmm. As a response, I would point this out: do you know who started the tradition of WE HAVE A NEW FEMALE MEMBER threads?

The answer may surprise you. (http://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=23045&)

[Burton K Wheeler]

Hmm. As a response, I would point this out: do you know who started the tradition of WE HAVE A NEW FEMALE MEMBER threads?

The answer may surprise you. (http://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=23045&)

I dunno, the only ones I've seen are from male virgins.

[MrP]

There was nothing wrong with it. You could have at least edited it/PM'd Ian rather than deleting my page.

Hey, I'm sorry, old man. But from what Baldie said about it freaking out some of our female members, it seemed a prime case for drastic action. I both stand by what I did and am very sorry to have upset you.

[fortyseven]

Hey, I'm sorry, old man. But from what Baldie said about it freaking out some of our female members, it seemed a prime case for drastic action. I both stand by what I did and am very sorry to have upset you.

No, Baldie said some female members hide the fact they are female. Baldie or anyone doesn't get to decide unequivocally what should or shouldn't be in the wiki.

[Fellatio Nelson]

If someone were to go through lots the profiles looking for clues that people with only 5 posts from 2004 were, say, German, or military veterans, that would be wierd.

I'm not a veterinarian. I don't stick my hand up cows' bottoms.

[Michael]

I'm not a veterinarian. I don't stick my hand up cows' bottoms.

Well not in a professional capacity.

[Fellatio Nelson]

Well not in a professional capacity.

The capacity of a cow's bottom?

I don't know. I'll just stick my arm up one and find out. Might even get a pat on the head.

[Calgacus]

No, Baldie said some female members hide the fact they are female. Baldie or anyone doesn't get to decide unequivocally what should or shouldn't be in the wiki.

I presume Ian gets to decide that - why not ask him?

[MrP]

I presume Ian gets to decide that - why not ask him?

I should think he can restore even a deleted article, too.

[Wanderlust]

The link just shows a blank page now. What did it say?

[Burton K Wheeler]

The link just shows a blank page now. What did it say?

It was just a long list of female posters. What was wierd was that a lot of them had never even posted, just registered and never logged on again. I think there was a little intro saying something like "THERE ARE NO WOMEN ON HERE WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN ON HERE IT CAN'T BE BECAUSE VIRGIN NERDS THROW A HUGE FIT WHENEVER ONE REGISTERS AND STALK HER UNTIL SHE FLEES"

EDIT: Something like this: http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/psychosnemesis

[Wanderlust]

Ah I see.

But I wonder how you can actually tell who is male and who is female on these things? Aside from the picture thread. And more's the point, why would you want to?

(As an odd aside, I met my first lesbian girlfriend on a forum. Or rather, she met me >.< )

[Burton K Wheeler]

Ah I see.

But I wonder how you can actually tell who is male and who is female on these things? Aside from the picture thread. And more's the point, why would you want to?

(As an odd aside, I met my first lesbian girlfriend on a forum. Or rather, she met me >.< )

Yeah, it wouldn't be too wierd if it had just listed people like ljd, IronYuppie, kilngirl, etc. But it had this strange scary stalkerish vibe.

[Locke]

Well, perhaps to even things outsomeone should create a "male" article or something.....?

That way, the ladies wont be as freaked out, since you guys are so worried about it.

[kilngirl]

To be fair, I don't think fortyseven added the list of names, only the small original blurb about there not being many women. I believe someone else did. You can still read the article if you look and compare revisions. It hasn't been completely wiped out of wiki.

I know some of the women hide their identity for other reasons than the "stalking".

[Ran Exilis]

To be fair, I don't think fortyseven added the list of names, only the small original blurb about there not being many women. I believe someone else did. You can still read the article if you look and compare revisions. It hasn't been completely wiped out of wiki.

I know some of the women hide their identity for other reasons than the "stalking".

That's true - as can be seen in the page history, it was Max who added the list.

But in his defence, the original list contained only the names of women who have actually posted here, and most of them either stayed and are fairly well known here (IY, kilny, ljd767, etc.), or got banned (crimson and gold, GirlsGoFishing).

Only two of the listed women didn't stay here for long, and I'm sure that Max just happened to remember them.

Really, if you seriously start looking through the members list for female/feminine usernames, you can easily come up with much more names.

[Ran Exilis]

It was just a long list of female posters. What was wierd was that a lot of them had never even posted, just registered and never logged on again.

That's not true, actually...

I checked the name on the list (the ones that I didn't reckognize right away, that is), and each one of them had posted, and there was only one among them who had posted less than ten times (Baxter).

There are definitely a lot of (propably) female members who never logged on again after registering, but none of them were on that list.

I think there was a little intro saying something like "THERE ARE NO WOMEN ON HERE WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN ON HERE IT CAN'T BE BECAUSE VIRGIN NERDS THROW A HUGE FIT WHENEVER ONE REGISTERS AND STALK HER UNTIL SHE FLEES"

EDIT: Something like this: http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/psychosnemesis

Actually, I put it in a much more poetic way; ;)

(...)

And after PsychosNemesis confirmed that she is indeed a real woman (and not just some random, acne-ridden, internet-addicted, male teenager with a perverted love for sick jokes), the thread soon got flooded with countless posts containing welcoming messages, poor pick-up lines, and other attempts to attract PsychosNemesis’ attention.

And suprisingly, instead of running away screaming and throwing her computer out of the window (like any sane woman would have done), she actually appreciated all the attention, and she answered the lionshare of the welcoming posts, making a lot of jokes and flirting a bit in the process.

Thus, she attracted whole swarms of the creepiest and most desperate of the male AH.commers, not unlike how syrup attracts flies, but then a lot worse.
In my defense: that description of said events was actually meant to be somewhat sarcastic.
But in retrospect, the description turns out to be eerily accurate...

..
We really are an awful bunch, aren't we? :o

[fortyseven]

It's been restored.

[Michael]

Not to open old wounds, but who put the description of laura in her wiki entry, it's a rather strange thing to do.

[Calgacus]

Not to open old wounds, but who put the description of laura in her wiki entry, it's a rather strange thing to do.

Thande, fortyseven and Cockroach. If you look at "old revisions" it lists who did what....

[Cockroach]

Thande, fortyseven and Cockroach. If you look at "old revisions" it lists who did what....
You'll notice the comment I added was in relation to her lack of activity outside the chat forums... so don't blame me for the rest.

[fortyseven]

Thande, fortyseven and Cockroach. If you look at "old revisions" it lists who did what....

I always knew that.

[MrP]

Not to open old wounds, but who put the description of laura in her wiki entry, it's a rather strange thing to do.

I mentioned it to her before she went to bed. She didn't seem bothered. I'm pretty sure she had a look, because she said her location needed updating from Ireland, then said it'd already been done.

[Thande]

I did LJD's article on a dare from her herself months ago...otherwise I would never have done anything so Creepy (tm) ;). It can go now if she wants.

[Fellatio Nelson]

I've added to the Wiki for creepy teens. I think it's fair.

http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/creepy_hetero_teens

[elle-jay]

I'm not bothered by my Wiki article, I think most people here know what I look like anyway!

[MrP]

I've added to the Wiki for creepy teens. I think it's fair.

http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/creepy_hetero_teens

:D :D :D

I love it. :D

[DominusNovus]

Well, to stay on topic, apparently I'm the creepiest member of the forum.

And its not even for a creepy reason.

[Ran Exilis]

Well, to stay on topic, apparently I'm the creepiest member of the forum.

And its not even for a creepy reason.

Hey!

I'm supposed to be the number one creep around here! :mad:

..
Seriously though; how so?

[Thande]

Hey!

I'm supposed to be the number one creep around here! :mad:

..
Seriously though; how so?

Dom is creepy for posting pictures of random women he's met without asking them.

[Ran Exilis]

Dom is creepy for posting pictures of random women he's met without asking them.

Ah, that.

Yes, that does out-creep me...

[Fellatio Nelson]

Well, to stay on topic, apparently I'm the creepiest member of the forum.

And its not even for a creepy reason.

Creepy, yet sexy.

There! That makes me far creepier than you.

[Ran Exilis]

I've added to the Wiki for creepy teens. I think it's fair.

http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/creepy_hetero_teens

I like the article, except for the little detail that the cathegory "creepy hetero teens" excludes certain notable creeps such as myself...

[DominusNovus]

Dom is creepy for posting pictures of random women he's met without asking them.

Though according to the wiki, it was back when I posted my pictures of how scary I could look.

And besides, when someone pointed out how creepy that was, I took down the pictures, and most of the regulars have also posted similar pictures.

[DominusNovus]

Though according to the wiki, it was back when I posted my pictures of how scary I could look.

And besides, when someone pointed out how creepy that was, I took down the pictures, and most of the regulars have also posted similar pictures.

EDIT: Oh, and by the way, I was just on a red sox forum, and they have their own thread dedicated to the same topic. A 'girls next door' thread.

But I still agree with you guys now that its kinda creepy.

[Fellatio Nelson]

:D :D :D

I love it. :D

Thanks, P.

I just hope no one begins a gaysexual topic, because that could be eerily similar.

[elle-jay]

Even after I've tried, I still haven't gotten any creepy pm's. I'm rather disappointed in the creepy hetero teens!

[Fellatio Nelson]

Even after I've tried, I still haven't gotten any creepy pm's. I'm rather disappointed in the creepy hetero teens!

Do you want me to send you a creepy PM?

I'm neither a teen, hetero nor creepy (at least my mum says so :D), but I'll give it my best shot.

[Calgacus]

Do you want me to send you a creepy PM?

I'm neither a teen, hetero nor creepy (at least my mum says so :D), but I'll give it my best shot.

Just how does one type heavy breathing....?

[Fellatio Nelson]

Just how does one type heavy breathing....?

Hhhhuuuuurrrrgghhh.... huuuuuurrrgghhhh.... *fubble-fubble-fubble*.... huuuurgghh.

Pardon? Say again your last?

[elle-jay]

Do you want me to send you a creepy PM?

I'm neither a teen, hetero nor creepy (at least my mum says so :D), but I'll give it my best shot.

Oooh, yes please! Ran just sent me a rather delightful one; you'll have to out-do him!

[Michael]

Though according to the wiki, it was back when I posted my pictures of how scary I could look

But they were hilarious, you looked like a recently escaped serial killer asking for change in the street.

[fortyseven]

Even after I've tried, I still haven't gotten any creepy pm's. I'm rather disappointed in the creepy hetero teens!

Generally creepy or "I think you're hot therefore..." creepy?

[Fellatio Nelson]

Oooh, yes please! Ran just sent me a rather delightful one; you'll have to out-do him!

Out-do a Dutchman when it comes to perversions?

I'll have to think about it.

Long and hard.

[NomadicSky]

The Wiki article about Kit (http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/kit) has some very personal info
"He lost his virginity at 16 in the disabled toilets of the Empire State Building in New York to a thirty year old American in short shorts while his family took pictures on the viewing platform outside.'

True or not that's TMI for me.

[Berra]

The Wiki article about Kit (http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/kit) has some very personal info
"He lost his virginity at 16 in the disabled toilets of the Empire State Building in New York to a thirty year old American in short shorts while his family took pictures on the viewing platform outside.'

True or not that's TMI for me.

It's not that personal, it doesn't state if it was Kits or the Americans family who took the pictures:p

[Fellatio Nelson]

The Wiki article about Kit (http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/offtopic/kit) has some very personal info
"He lost his virginity at 16 in the disabled toilets of the Empire State Building in New York to a thirty year old American in short shorts while his family took pictures on the viewing platform outside.'

True or not that's TMI for me.

Don't you like stories about illicit childhood meetings with pederasts?

[NomadicSky]

Don't you like stories about illicit childhood meetings with pederasts?

No I do not.

[Fellatio Nelson]

No I do not.

Oh. I thought you would.

[NomadicSky]

Oh. I thought you would.

So I guess it was you who wrote that.

[Fellatio Nelson]

So I guess it was you who wrote that.

Nope; not my style to write that sort of story.

[Michael]

It seems Kit himself put that there.

[elle-jay]

It seems Kit himself put that there.

Ha, that figures. :p:D

[NomadicSky]

It seems Kit himself put that there.

Well I hope he wasn't serious.

[MrP]

Well I hope he wasn't serious.

It's always good to have hope. :)

[elle-jay]

Well I hope he wasn't serious.

Meh, that story about Kit is common knowledge.

[NomadicSky]

Meh, that story about Kit is common knowledge.

Oh well if you can do that and it just be a funny story to you.
More power to him.

[Fellatio Nelson]

Oh well if you can do that and it just be a funny story to you.
More power to him.

And the moral of the tale is: we all agree we like ubstantiated stories about sex with minors in tourist attractions.

[Nekromans]

And the moral of the tale is: we all agree we like ubstantiated stories about sex with minors in tourist attractions.

Y'know, I went to the Eiffel Tower and I wasn't molested ONCE. I mean, what's up with that? :mad:

:D

[Berra]

And the moral of the tale is: we all agree we like ubstantiated stories about sex with minors in tourist attractions.

Well, as long as the parents take their pictures of something else. Imagine how creepy the story would have been if Kits parents took pictures of them.

[NomadicSky]

Well, as long as the parents take their pictures of something else. Imagine how creepy the story would have been if Kits parents took pictures of them.

His parents would have fliped if they'd seen that. They might have taken photo's only to press charges.

[Fellatio Nelson]

Y'know, I went to the Eiffel Tower and I wasn't molested ONCE. I mean, what's up with that? :mad:

:D

Then you should choose trips that coincide with Paedo-thon 2007.

[Umbral]

This is not getting less creepy, actually...

[Tom Veil]

I suppose I should clear up the rumors. Yes, it's true, my online persona is male. I, in fact, am also male IRL.

[Berra]

His parents would have fliped if they'd seen that. They might have taken photo's only to press charges.

Not to mention that parents with a camera is creepy in general. Just imagine her mum saying "this is a big day for you, we're just taking a few pictures."