celtic uberwank challenge

[demonkangaroo]

Make a celtic uberwank following these guidelines:
1. the pod must be between 300 B.C. and ad 500
2. NO celtic colonies in the new world.
3.No asb.
good luck gentle men. begin.

[Ran Exilis]

No celtic colonies in the New World?

...but how could it possibly be an überwank then? :D

[EvolvedSaurian]

No celtic colonies in the New World?

...but how could it possibly be an überwank then? :D

Celtic colonies in space!

[Ran Exilis]

Celtic colonies in space!

...and EvolvedSaurian for the win!

..
Seriously though, I hadn't thought of that.

[Keenir]

No celtic colonies in the New World?

...but how could it possibly be an überwank then? :D

Celtic New Zealand.

[Keenir]

Celtic colonies in space!

nah...just crack the Skasis Code!

[Blizrun]

Celtics resist Germanic and Roman expansion and evolve into a unified state, later expands to take Iberian, Roman, Germanic and Slavic lands.

All of Europe is now ruled by the Celts.

[demonkangaroo]

CEELLLTS!! IIIIIN! SPAAAAACE!:D:D:D:D:D

[euio]

CEELLLTS!! IIIIIN! SPAAAAACE!:D:D:D:D:D
And New Zealand.

[DominusNovus]

New Zealand?

Meh, makes as much sense as some of the other things here.

NEW ZEALAND!!! IN!!! SPAAAAAACE!!

[Douglas]

I want Christmas Island in space. :cool:

[demonkangaroo]

nah. Hawi'i ISOT'd to mars when it was habitable:D

[Faeelin]

Back on topic...

1st century BC, you see some real interesting stuff in Gaul; literacy beomes more common, coinage enters use, in denominations small enough for daily transactions, unstable republics are set up, and kings are making bids for hegemony. you even see urban centers, some of which (Manching) are pretty big.

The problem is that while this is due to Roman influence and trade, it's also destroyed by it. So you need to get a Rome that isn't expansionist enough to conquer gaul.

Ideas?

[Douglas]

Back on topic...

1st century BC, you see some real interesting stuff in Gaul; literacy beomes more common, coinage enters use, in denominations small enough for daily transactions, unstable republics are set up, and kings are making bids for hegemony. you even see urban centers, some of which (Manching) are pretty big.

The problem is that while this is due to Roman influence and trade, it's also destroyed by it. So you need to get a Rome that isn't expansionist enough to conquer gaul.

Ideas?

Kill Rome with Carthage or Alexander for the stereotypical version. But you could also have the tribes that Marius beat defeat him and wipe Rome out. Or Phyrrus defeat Rome.

Hmmm...OTL seems like Rome-Wank, now that I think of it. :p

[EvolvedSaurian]

Have the Gauls win at Alesia, Vercingetorix rallying them for an attack in Italy...

Is that stereotypical?

[Wendell]

Would doing a Romanized Celtic Britain TL count?

[demonkangaroo]

Would doing a Romanized Celtic Britain TL count?
extra points If King Arthur is first emperor/hegemon/high king

[Faeelin]

Have the Gauls win at Alesia, Vercingetorix rallying them for an attack in Italy...

Is that stereotypical?

I dunno. I feel that even if they don't return to Gaul (they did to get the eagles back from the Parthians, after all), there's no way he'll take Italy.

On the other hand, sans Rome do we see the state formation we saw among the Celts?

How about this. The Romans nver invade Britain, and gradually a Celtic client-state develops; by the end of the 1st century, they have catual urban centers; by the end of the 2nd, they're about as civilized as Gaul.

Then, the 3rd century Crisis begins. Gaul lies defenseless...

And the Emperor of the Britons makes his move.

[Douglas]

I dunno. I feel that even if they don't return to Gaul (they did to get the eagles back from the Parthians, after all), there's no way he'll take Italy.

On the other hand, sans Rome do we see the state formation we saw among the Celts?

I think an Alexander-wank would actually help us.

1. Brings the Celts into contact with the rest of the civilized world.
2. Centralization.

Imagine the Celts to be an analogue of the regions conquered by Alexander in the East...Hellenized to a small extent, centralized under a Hellenistic dynasty for a couple hundred years, before that is replaced with a Celt-born dynasty that occupies Gaul, Britannia, and Spain. Now it goes off to conquer the world and establish an empire...:)

[Faeelin]

I think an Alexander-wank would actually help us.

1. Brings the Celts into contact with the rest of the civilized world.
2. Centralization.

Imagine the Celts to be an analogue of the regions conquered by Alexander in the East...Hellenized to a small extent, centralized under a Hellenistic dynasty for a couple hundred years, before that is replaced with a Celt-born dynasty that occupies Gaul, Britannia, and Spain. Now it goes off to conquer the world and establish an empire...:)

I could buy this.

Although I dislike Alexander TLs simply because they abort the spread of Buddhism. :D

[Douglas]

I could buy this.

Although I dislike Alexander TLs simply because they abort the spread of Buddhism. :D

Well...if you insist...you could have Buddhism spread from a longer-lasting Alexandrian empire. Militant Buddhist Celts...:D

Well, it's not too far-fetched. It took less than 600 years from a religion founded in Palestine to be accepted by virtually every single Irishman.

[Jason]

I dunno. I feel that even if they don't return to Gaul (they did to get the eagles back from the Parthians, after all), there's no way he'll take Italy.

On the other hand, sans Rome do we see the state formation we saw among the Celts?

How about this. The Romans nver invade Britain, and gradually a Celtic client-state develops; by the end of the 1st century, they have catual urban centers; by the end of the 2nd, they're about as civilized as Gaul.

Then, the 3rd century Crisis begins. Gaul lies defenseless...

And the Emperor of the Britons makes his move.

An interesting idea, afterall we have evidence of a pre-Conquest Roman style building at Fishbourne Palace, Sussex and even before JC attacked, a lot of the elites in Southern Britain did have access to Roman goods. I'm not sure all of Britain would become a single kingdom though, perhaps the southern part might.