Prime Minister Francis Urquhart and 9/11

[MarkWhittington]

“Here’s what we know so far,” said Sean Hannity. “Three days ago the Prime Minister of Great Britain, Sir Francis Urquhart, was taken from his official plane at Heathrow Air Port to a nearby hospital. Urquhart had just concluded a successful summit in Ireland in which a security agreement was signed that it is hoped to once and for all end the IRA’s reign of terror. A massive news blackout has been imposed around the hospital. There is no news about the Prime Minister’s health or what is ailing him. For further information we have Sarah Brady, Fox News correspondent in London.”

“Hello, Sean, so far we have not had any more news,” said Sarah Brady, standing at her post in front of the hospital where Urquhart had been taken. “But we have received word in the past few minutes that British Armed Forces world-wide have been placed on alert.”

“That sounds ominous,” said Hannity.

“Sarah, Alan Colmes here. What is the mood of the British people on the street?”

“There is a mood of great solemnity. You have to remember that Sir Francis Urquhart has been British Prime Minister for fifteen years. He has become, to people of all political stripes in this country, like a force of nature. A Britain without Urquhart would be a strange, unfamiliar place indeed. There are people spontaneously leaving messages of support, flowers, and whatnot both at Number 10 and here at the hospital.”

“But Prime Minister Urquhart is not universally loved,” suggested Colmes.

“No. In fact there is a small group of protestors, nearby, cordoned off by law enforcement, who are in a positively celebratory mood.” She touched her ear piece. “Just a moment.”

“Alan, I don’t know about you, but if Prime Minister Urquhart is dead, he will be missed by most Americans. He has been our country’s strongest allies in the war on terror.”

“At the cost of many civil liberties in Britain,” Colmes added.

“My producer has just informed me that an announcement is forthcoming from Castle Urquhart, which is the Prime Minister’s private residence in Scotland,” Sarah said.

“We’re switching to it now,” muttered the New York producer in Sean Hannity’s ear piece.

“We’re going to cut to a special announcement from Castle Urquhart,” said Sean Hannity. “We’ll be back after the announcement is concluded.”

Hannity and Colmes glanced at the monitor. When they saw who was on it, they both gasped. Hannity, a devout Catholic, crossed himself.

[PMN1]

I have a very bad feeling about this.....

:cool:

[LordKalvan]

I have a very bad feeling about this.....

:cool:


You're not the only one. The old hoary chestnut of the impersonator would be too much....even for FU

[whatisinaname]

FU still alive, that would cheer me up no end :cool::D

[MarkWhittington]

After having finished the video confession, his guards tossed the Professional back into the dungeon at Castle Urquhart. He lay on a flea infested cot for a while, and then heard the door clang open and a familiar looking man appear in the doorway. A light switched on. The Professional sat up “Aren’t you dead?” he asked.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” said Prime Minister Sir Francis Urquhart.

“Before you dispose of me, care to tell me where I went wrong?”

Urquhart smiled. “First mistake you made is that you took the job.”

“Quoting B movies?”

“Second mistake was relying on the Provos for help. We have so many of our people inside that we all but run the IRA.”

The Professional nodded. “So who did I kill? Obviously it was not you.”

“From time to time it suits my purposes to appear to be in one place while actually being in another. In this case I had to conduct some rather delicate talks here at the Castle with opponents of your employer. The man who took my place was an actor named Ian Richardson.”

“Not the fellow who—“

“Yes, the fellow who played the part of Professor Dumbledore in the last three Harry Potter movies. I’m told that my niece was inconsolable at the news. It was quite possibly the worse thing Vladimir Putin could have done. There are demonstrations taking place at every Russian embassy in the civilized world as we speak.”

“So convenient that I would almost think you had arranged it.”

Urquhart smiled wolfishly. “You might very well say that. I couldn’t possibly comment.” The Professional gave out a snort. “In any case, Sir Ian will receive a lavish funeral at state expense at which I shall give the eulogy.”

“So now the only loose end is me. What is it to be? A bullet to the back of the head or am I just to disappear?”

“I thought about that. But a man of your talents is no someone to be wasted on petty revenge. I think I shall keep you around for a while. Eventually you will be transferred to more comfortable surroundings. Occasionally it might suit me to send you on a job. You will be richly rewarded, of course.”

“Of course. And how will you be assured of my loyalty?”

“My dear fellow, you are at heart a mercenary. Your loyalty is to whoever pays you. And I can pay quite handsomely.” He turned to the door, then looked back. “We’ll start by enhancing the quality of your meal service. Something a little more appetizing than gaol swill. Good day.”

Urquhart left the cell and the door clanged shut behind him.

[PMN1]

Putin has also pissed off Terry Pratchett fans as Ian Richardson provided the voice of Death in the TV version of Hogfather and probably would have done so in future TV adaptations.

[David bar Elias]

I'd hate to be Vladimir Putin right now...:eek:

Speaking of which, what's up with Iran and Darfur at the moment? Both would provide opportunities for F.U. to orchestrate invasions of even more oil-rich areas of the globe...

[DAv]

Holy crap. Who else but FU could cheat death like that? A great twist, shame about Ian Richardson though...

[Sgt Detritus]

Putin has also pissed off Terry Pratchett fans as Ian Richardson provided the voice of Death in the TV version of Hogfather and probably would have done so in future TV adaptations.


That's no problem, in this world Christopher Lee gets the Death gig right from the start

[Sgt Detritus]

“From time to time it suits my purposes to appear to be in one place while actually being in another. In this case I had to conduct some rather delicate talks here at the Castle with opponents of your employer. The man who took my place was an actor named Ian Richardson.”



Your name is Jack Higgins and I claim my £10!!!

[whatisinaname]

FU still alive YES :D:D:D:D:D:D

I am happy :cool::D

[MarkWhittington]

Vladimir Putin sat at his desk, poured another drink of vodka, and down it all in one gulp. He could not hear the sounds of the protest in Red Square, but he knew it was there. He did not waste any time in sentimental recriminations. Obviously there had been a leak somewhere. Obviously Francis Urquhart, a man he was beginning to understand only too well, had the ruthlessness to allow a world renowned actor to be killed in his place and then place the blame on the Russian State.

The most absurd part was that many of the people who were howling for his blood before dozens of Russian embassies around the world were behaving as if he had ordered killed the fantasy wizard Ian Richardson had played rather than the actor. That was almost insulting.

Still, the damage was not irreversible. If he could—

The door to his office opened without a preliminary knock. A General he recognized appared with a dozen soldiers, heavily armed. No, it was too late after all.

“Vladimir Vladimirovitch, you must come with us,” the General said.
Putin rose up and allowed himself to be escorted out.

It was only after they emerged into an isolated court yard in the Kremlin that Putin realized what exactly was going to happen.

“I suppose it is too late to ask for a priest?” he asked.

“Be serious, Vladimir Vladimirovitch. You were KGB in the old days.”

Putin nodded. He never seriously adopted a belief in God and his saints that a lot of people in Russia had acquired when the hammer and sickle fell.

“On your knees,” the General added.

Putin complied. He felt something cold and metallic at the back of his head. The roar of the pistol filled his entire universe. Then the darkness took him.

[G.Bone]

It is surprising that Putin should be off'd so easily.

[Mr J]

Exellent I love this story, it is Brillent.:D:D:D

[qdemn7]

Holy Frag-a-Moly!! Woo-hoo! Keep it up Mark. :eek: ;):D

[whatisinaname]

Exellent I love this story, it is Brillent.:D:D:D

Holy Frag-a-Moly!! Woo-hoo! Keep it up Mark. :eek: ;):D


I second this :D

[Jack_Straw]

Poor Vladimir...all because he wasted Dumbledore! Boy, the Screen Actor's Guild isn't to be trifled with!:rolleyes:

Another excellent installment!

[Sargon]

Nicely done. Shame about Sir Ian. Still, one way to piss off people is to kill off their film idols. Putin really got it in the neck...

Awaiting the next part. It's a guilty plesasure reading this, and a very delicious one at that.


Sargon

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

Just to keep it in the public eye.

[Boom22]

I have alot in common with a certain Prime Minster.

[katanbuilder3]

Excellent!!:D

[Will Ritson]

For those of you with access to BBC4, "House of Cards" is being repeated every evening this week.

[MarkWhittington]

“The trial of Osama bin Laden is in its two hundredth with no end in sight,” said the news reader. “Bin Laden’s lead attorney, Alan Shore, tied up the court once again with a flurry of motions, much to the distress of both the prosecuting attorney and the judge.”
It was clearly a mistake to give him up to the Americans, Sir Francis Urquhart, Prime Minister of Great Britain, mused. I should have put him down the place of forgetting and forgotten about him.
“The American Presidential election heated up today in Iowa when the front runner for the Democratic Party, former Vice President Al Gore, proposed a twenty percent carbon tax in order to reduce pollution that he said caused global warming. Republican candidates, including former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, Senator George Allen, and Senator John McCain denounced the proposal as a jobs and economy killer.
“In news from Russia, rival army units clashed near the city of Volgograd. Casualties were said to be heavy and—“
A discrete knock at the door caused Urquhart to shut off the TV and said, “Come in.”
As expected, the young diplomat he had asked the foreign ministry to send over came into his office. Urquhart rose and shook the young man’s hand warmly. “Ah, Caruthers, a please to make you acquaintance.
“Prime Minister, to what do I owe this honor.”
“Do sit down. Tea? Anyway, you are a rising star on the China desk over at the Ministry. Som to cut to the chase, I need you to go over to Beijing as my personal representative and give the Chinese President some proposals.”
“Is this about the Hong Kong situation?”
“Very perceptive.”
“Well, with respect, Prime Minister, I’m not sure that the Chinese will be too keen on hearing anything you have to say about that subject. They have gotten the place from us and they intend to keep it.”
“One of the Iron Lady’s few mistakes, in my opinion. In any case I think our Chinese friends will hear this proposal. I have something to offer them.”
“And that is, Prime Minister?”
“Siberia.”
The young diplomat blinked in surprise.”Don’t the Russians own that?”
“Considering the chaos that now reigns in Russia, do you imagine that the Russians would hold the place if the Chinese proposed to take it? Especially if we offered to help? Discretely, of course.”
“The Russians have nuclear weapons.”
“And we have a working anti ballistic missile system. Now do you understand?”
The young diplomat mused for a second.
“Do you?”
The young diplomat said, “Yes, Prime Minister.”

[ImperialVienna]

Obviously Mr. Shore is no longer an employee of Crane, Poole, & Schmidt. DENNY CRANE!!!

[MarkWhittington]

Obviously Mr. Shore is no longer an employee of Crane, Poole, & Schmidt. DENNY CRANE!!!

Actually Alan is on loan to the New York office of the firm, much to the consternation of all who believe in justice for criminals.

[David bar Elias]

Looks like we're in for a reverse Bear and the Dragon scenario...:eek:

[ImperialVienna]

Well then is Denny still alive, because obviously he'd die of a broken heart if Alan took the case.

[MarkWhittington]

Well then is Denny still alive, because obviously he'd die of a broken heart if Alan took the case.

Denny is second chair on the case and it is often remarked on Greta and Nancy that he is apparently snoozing through the court sessions.

[ImperialVienna]

Wow, just wow

Edit: So it doesn't techincally count as a loss for Denny because Alan is 1st Chair because I assume this is another of Alan's grand standing that will make its point but in the end fail.

[per mare per terram]

Mark,

I'm really enjoying your story but one small niggle in the latest chapter. I would be very surprised to hear an erudite young man from the FCO use the term "gotten" in his discourse. It would be considered a little a vulgar Americanism - distorting the English language.

[Ivan Druzhkov]

Now, I’ve been following this series fairly regularly for a couple months now, and for the most part I have been enjoying it. However, these last few installments have not been all that satisfying to me. I may be alone here, but I think that this timeline is starting to show its age.

The main problem I’ve had is that Urquhart seems to have transformed from a Richard III-esque manipulator into a nasty version of a Mary Sue. In the book and TV series, he was clever and ruthless, true, but he was always working in the confines of some system, whether it be the structures of Parliament, the traditions of government, or the need to secure his own legacy. Here, it seems that his personality has just been allowed to run amuck on the world stage, without any external restraint. What’s worse is that when someone does challenge him (Zarqawi and Putin are the only ones I remember), not only does FU escape their plots relatively unscathed, he immediately turns around and completely destroys them as people, consequences be damned. While FU’s tendency to flout the rules is part of what makes the character so compelling, after a while this lack of a credible opponent (either as a character or as a system of rules) tends to make the stories, well, boring. It also doesn’t help that FU never seems to make a mistake, or fatally misjudges anything around him.

While unavoidable on the part of the author, the delays in writing new installments aren’t helping either. I find that the story worked best when sections were coming one after another, so that we could get enough of a narrative to give the story a rollercoaster feel. When the installments come out in dribs and drabs, the story really loses a lot of its energy.

In short, it’s not that I hate the story; it’s just that I think it’s about exhausted itself. Right now, I’d prefer a decent conclusion and coda to the whole thing than any more installments. I really don’t want it to turn into one of those fanfics that just loses the thread of what it was trying to say, and just becomes a litany of uninteresting deeds thrown out into the aether.

[MarkWhittington]

Hu Jintao looked up and down the conference table. The Chinese Politburo had the usual mix of old guard and ambitious young Turks. But they all looked anxiously up at him. “I propose that we accept the British proposal that had been laid before us.”
“But Hong Kong belongs to us,” one of the younger members protested.
“Hong Kong is unimportant compared to Siberia,” an older member countered. “Besides, with the economic riches and other advantages that possessing Siberia will garner us, we can take Hong Kong back at will.”
“The man in 10 Downing is not a push over,” someone else said.
“But he will not live forever,” replied the older member. “He is aged and we have time.”
Hu nodded. That was sound wisdom. China had always prospered by being more patient than its adversaries. But he had another idea, one that would not only end the existence of a man who had been such a thorn in the side of the Middle Kingdom, but remove whatever face he had acquired. It was imperative that this part of the plan not only be kept secret, even from the gentlemen in this room, but be executed swiftly and ruthlessly. Hu did not intend to share the fate of Francis Urquhart’s other enemies, especially Vladimir Putin.
“Enough debate,” Hu said. “We vote now. All those in favor of accepting the British proposal?”
Every hand, even that of the younger man who had objected, shot up. Hu Jintao suppressed a smile.

[whatisinaname]

Hi Mark

Another great part, Britian gets Hong Kong, cool :cool::)

Thanks

[Permanganate]

Hmm. This could turn out incredibly badly. If the SDI system 'just happens' to not work (again!) then China may lose all its cities. Haven't the Chinese noticed this?

[katanbuilder3]

Great job!

[whatisinaname]

Hi Mark

Found this on the BBC web site - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7044268.stm

Sounds a bit familiar, just like your story, is there something that you are not telling us :eek::eek::D:D:D:D

[Atreus]

This is a great story. It inspired me to watch the House of Cards and sequal episodes. I just finished To Play the King. However, there is one thing I must say:

"Nothing lasts forever. Even the longest, the most glittering reign must come to an end someday."

Regards

[DuxBellorum]

I LOVE this thread too. But in an earlier installment it was stated FU was in the Black Watch, when in service. It was actually the Scots Guards, he mentions in the 1st series. Another scene in this thread has FU enjoying a dram of Glenlivet, when in the first series he drank Bruicladdich w/ Mattie, in his drawing room.

Anyway . . . just nitpicking keep going, please!

[MarkWhittington]

I LOVE this thread too. But in an earlier installment it was stated FU was in the Black Watch, when in service. It was actually the Scots Guards, he mentions in the 1st series. Another scene in this thread has FU enjoying a dram of Glenlivet, when in the first series he drank Bruicladdich w/ Mattie, in his drawing room.

Anyway . . . just nitpicking keep going, please!

This is alternate history, after all.

[Atreus]

This is alternate history, after all.

I consider this to be more future history, especially in regards to the show itself.

Oh, and DuxBellorum, a nitpick about your nitpick. He never states he was in the military during House of Cards. It is in To Play the King. And was it actually the Scots Guards? I only heard him refer to being a Lieutenant in the Guards, but he never refered to which regiment he served in.

[DuxBellorum]

Touche, Mark!

Atreus: In House of Cards, during the Leadership crisis, before FU is actually running for the leadership, he has knobled Marcus Samuels & is being interviewed over the phone, while having breakfast with Mrs (Lady MacBeth would call her a scheming bitch) Urquhardt. The quote is, "I was far too busy as a young lieutenant in the Scots Guards for anything of that sort," or words to that effect.

HAVE AT YOU!!!!

[Atreus]

Touche, Mark!

Atreus: In House of Cards, during the Leadership crisis, before FU is actually running for the leadership, he has knobled Marcus Samuels & is being interviewed over the phone, while having breakfast with Mrs (Lady MacBeth would call her a scheming bitch) Urquhardt. The quote is, "I was far too busy as a young lieutenant in the Scots Guards for anything of that sort," or words to that effect.

HAVE AT YOU!!!!

I remember the quote, but I still think that that was in To Play the King. My first inclination would be to say it was refering to Stains, but it was earlier in the series. And for some reason, I associate the Coldstream Guards with Urquhart. However, to nitpick a debate on a nitpick, you spelled Urquhart's name wrong. :D:confused::D:confused:

On another topic, do you fence?

[DuxBellorum]

Not for a long time, now. I also used to tourney-fight in the SCA. Back when I was young, indestructible & only mildly psychotic.

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

[DeathDemon]

In Soviet-Russia, thread bumps you!

[ASH1977LAW]

* KA-BUMP *

[Caractacus]

keep-on-bumping

[MarkWhittington]

Alan Shore took a big drag on his cigar and then regarded the bottom of his glass of brandy. “You know, Denny, knowing that defeat was inevitable does not take away its sting one iota.”

“It was certainly inevitable the moment you tried to put US anti terrorism policy on trial,” Denny Crane replied.

“I thought it was a good gambit. Since we’re not Great Britain we still have the freedom to criticize our government. How would you have defended Osama?”

“Insanity defense. That was your only real option.”

“Somewhat politically incorrect, don’t you think? Claiming that a Muslim was insane.”

“Muslims are insane, Alan. No sane person gives up drinking and still straps on bombs and blows oneself up.”

“Denny, impeccable logic as always.”

A third person clearing her throat drew their attention behind them. “I’m sorry to disturb you gentlemen,” Shirley said from just inside the office.

“Oh, come and join us, Shirley,” Alan said. “We’re drowning our sorrows.”

“He’s drowning his sorrows,” Denny interjected. “I can’t wait to see that rag head swing.”

“Denny,” said Shirley, “first of all, the appeals are going to last for months. Second of all, I don’t think they’ve brought back hanging in this country.”

“Bunch of liberal wimps.”

“Shirley,” Alan said, “is there something you want?”

“There is someone in your office wanting to meet you, Alan.”

“What, at this hour? What for?”

“She didn’t say. But I think you’ll like her, Alan. She’s about my age and she’s British.”

“Does she have a name.”

“Yes, Alan. Emma Peel.”

[ImperialVienna]

Bravo Bravo

Nothing like a good BL scene to tid me over until tomorrow.

[Atreus]

A little unsure of where this is going. Good wrok, though.

The reason I truly liked to Play the King was that, in both Stamper and the King could bring Urquhart down. Here, there doesn't seem to be anyone. Just a thought.

[whatisinaname]

Keep up the great work.
Another good part to this story.

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

[MarkWhittington]

“This is all very interesting, Mrs. Peel,” Alan Shore said, “but I’m not sure I can help you in this matter. For one thing, this seems to be within the jurisdiction of the British courts.”

“But as I explained—“ started the older, but still very handsome looking woman seated opposite his desk.

“And for another thing, secret prisons have been an accepted practice since the War on Terror began. Even if they are on the coast of—where did you say?”

“Wales.”

“You and I may deplore the practice, but there it is.”

“The reason I’ve come to you, Mr. Shore, is that British courts, having been largely appointed by our current Prime Minister over the years, will not even hear such a case.”

“Nevertheless—“

“The facility at Penrhydeudraeth has been extant since the early 1950s. It does not exist so much for the internment of enemy combatants as it does for certain operatives of friendly powers whose continued liberty is judged to be detrimental to national security. These include British and American operatives who are—or were—nominally on our side.”

“American did you say? Does our government know about this?”

“Not at the highest levels, I’m told. Some officials of your CIA are in on it. There is a list of American residents of the Village there in the folder.”
Alan looked. Yes, there they were. “How did you come across this information?”

“Let us just say that I have my own sources.”

Alan considered for a moment. He glanced at Denny Crane who had been sitting comfortably in a guest chair, his eyes closed. It could either mean that he was asleep or was listening intently.. “I must admit,. Mrs. Peel, that your proposal intrigues me. We won’t have standing to help your friend, as he is a British citizen. But these Americans—first thing I’ll see if we can find their relations here in the states and see if they are interested in suing the British government for their release.”

“Thank you.”

They got up. Alan escorted her to the door and they shook hands. Old enough to be my mother, Alan thought. Still, there are possibilities.

When she was gone, Alan said, “Denny, my thanks to you.”

“For what?” he grunted, his eyes still shut.

“For not making some kind of crude sexual advance on my client.”

“I was giving you a chance at her.”

“Ah, I see. How generous of you.”

Later, Mrs. Peel returned to her Boston hotel. The portly Chinese gentleman was still there. “Well?” he asked.

“The ball is rolling,” she replied. “I think we have our insurance policy made out. Mr. Urquhart will not cause me to disappear when I inform him of my wiliness to testify about our little operation in New York.”

“It will still be dangerous.”

“I’ve probably committed numerous counts of high treason already. I have nothing to lose. All that matters is that Steed be freed from that place.”

[Atreus]

Perhaps Urquhart is about to finally meet his match.

[whatisinaname]

Another great part :)

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

[whatisinaname]

Just a little bump :D

Looking forward to the next part :)

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

[Atreus]

I'd like to see more, if that is possible.

[alt_historian]

You might comment. I couldn't possibly say that.
You might say comment. I couldn't possibly that.
You might that. I couldn't possibly say comment.
I couldn't say. You might possibly comment that.

It works in so many ways.
It also starts to look like John Prescott taking it too far...

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

[MarkWhittington]

More to come as Sir Francis decides what to do about the meddlesome Mrs. Peel. And, meanwhile, the Sino-Russian War takes an unexpected turn (unexpected by everyone, but--well, you know.)

[MarkWhittington]

Prime Minister Sir Francis Urquhart stood on the balcony of his Hong Kong hotel suite and watched the fireworks display. It had been three days since the last units of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army had departed and the people of the new Republic of Hong Kong were still celebrating. Units of Gurkhas and Highlanders had reentered Hong Kong for the first time in ten years, obstensively to provide training for the Hong Kong Defense Forces. It would be a long time, Urquhart mused, before they would leave again.

The Sino Russian War was going nicely too. Much to the shock of the world, three Chinese Armies crossed the frontier into Siberia three months before. At first they had rapidly overrun Russian positions and had even cut the Trans Siberian Railroad, isolating Vladivostok. Urquhart had kept his part of the bargain by deploying Aegis class ships of the Royal Navy and other anti ballistic missile units to prevent the war from going nuclear, which all the world, even as it condemned the Chinese aggression, was ready to accept. Urquhart had also publicly offered his good offices to both sides of the conflict to resolve the situation.

The Chinese had overrun much of Siberia. Unfortunately for them keeping Siberia was proving another matter. The Americans were busily supplying the Russian forces in Siberia with arms and other support. As a result, China was embroiled in a guerilla war in the forests and tundra of one of the most desolate places on Earth and the strain was starting to tell.

The Chinese had been enraged. Their ambassador had some choice words with Urquhart in his office at Number 10 a week ago. Urquhart had favored the man with his reptilian smile and said, “Well, you have to understand, officially Her Majesty’s Government has to oppose your expedition into Siberia. So I can hardly suggest to the American government that they should stop shipping arms to the Russian forces in Siberia.” The Chinese Ambassador had left his office fuming.

Life would be grand if it were not for that confounded Peel woman. She had dispatched her smarmy little American lawyer into his office to issue demands. “I hate to extort and run, but we really must have an answer soon.” Urquhart had almost ordered his disappearance then and there. But, Alan Shore had enough goods on Urquhart to make life very uncomfortable indeed. Discrete inquiries by MI6 were being conducted to find out where Shore had gotten them. Urquhart had his own private suspicions.

It may well be, therefore, that Mr. Steed would have to be only the second person in history to leave the Village alive. That, unfortunately, would only prove to be a temporary solution. Urquhart would not be safe so long as those damning documents were out there, ready for use at any time Something had to be done.

[birdy]

OMG Mrs Peel and Steed:D:cool:- dont kill them off!

On a more serious note, with Britain so influential all of a sudden, is the British economy the same as OTL?

[MarkWhittington]

OMG Mrs Peel and Steed:D:cool:- dont kill them off!

On a more serious note, with Britain so influential all of a sudden, is the British economy the same as OTL?

Somewhat larger.

[whatisinaname]

This is another great part, keep it up.

[Major Major]

"You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment."

[Thoren]

I joined this forum after reading part of this alternate F.U. I'm really looking forward to the next installment. As bad as he was F.U. certainly beats the pants off our politicians and makes you wish he was P.M.

[alt_historian]

I joined this forum after reading part of this alternate F.U. I'm really looking forward to the next installment. As bad as he was F.U. certainly beats the pants off our politicians and makes you wish he was P.M.

Umm... no he doesn't. Evil git. Although I would rather someone othr than Blair had been PM, but I won't go into that.

[Thoren]

Well at least F.U. didn't pretend to be a good guy. Then again I always wanted the Empire to win in Star Wars. They might not have won the politically correct prize but they had style and great uniforms! Irrelevant to this discussion I know.

[Thoren]

Well at least F.U. didn't pretend to be a good guy. Then again I always wanted the Empire to win in Star Wars. They might not have won the politically correct prize but they had style and great uniforms! Irrelevant to this discussion I know.

[Fabilius]

Just finished reading. Good stuff.

But you couldn't possibly comment on that could you?

[Trotsky]

This is a good story.

I'm starting to think FU is indestructible.

[vorkosigan]

More please! :)

[Atreus]

This is a good story.

I'm starting to think FU is indestructible.

even when he dies, he saves himself.

I second the motion. more now.

Please?:o

[MarkWhittington]

Sir Francis Urquhart, Prime Minister of Great Britain, watched from a high tower of Castle Urquhart as the helicopter landed in the courtyard. The chilly highland air was blowing from across the glen. The two figures that emerged from the helicopter were bundled up against the cold and hurried to the main entrance to the keep.

Urquhart turned away from the window and descended down the stairs to the Great Hall where he would meet his guests. It was charming, in a way, how confident they were in their position that they agreed to meet him here instead of some more public place, like Chequers. But he had convinced them that the exchange should take place in conditions of absolute secrecy.

There was another factor. Urquhart didn’t think that Mrs. Peel was going to be very pleased with what she was about to receive. He entered the Great Hall. The fire place was crackling, sending dancing shadows across the walls covered with tapestries and weapons displays. A tea cart had already been set up, the kettle filling the air with the heady aroma. Urquhart considered for a moment ordering something stronger brought in.

But then Mrs. Peel and that odious Shore person entered the Great Hall. The door closed shut behind them.

Mrs. Peel confronted him. “Well, here we are.”

“Here we are indeed, Madam,” Urquhart replied.

There was an awkward, pregnant silence.

“Where is he?” she asked, finally.

“I’m afraid that I have some rather bad news,” Urquhart said. He noticed that Alan Shore gave an intake of breath, as if he were expecting some kind of betrayal. The irony was that there was none such this time. “Two days ago, John Steed succumbed to a coronary. I am truly sorry.”

Mrs. Peel betrayed no emotion. “Where is he?” she repeated in a voice like winter.

“In the castle chapel. I will take you there myself.”

Mrs. Peel moved through the Great Hall, getting a little closer to Urquhart. He knew that even at her age she had certain lethal skills. He wondered if he should have packed a fire arm. “How did it happen?” she asked.

“Peacefully, I’m told. He was, after all, a man in his eighties. I can assure you that the government will support any funeral arrangements you might want to make.”

“The funeral will be private.”

“Of course. But I am also asked to inform you that His Majesty the King intends to award Mr. Steed a KCB, posthumously.”

“That’s very kind.”

“Shall we go down to the chapel?”

“I should like some tea first.”

“Of course.” Mrs. Peel moved to the tea tray. “Alan, would you like some?” she asked.

“Ah, no thank you.”

“Prime Minister?”

“Two lumps, no cream please.”

Mrs. Peel poured two cups of tea and handed one to Urquhart. She sipped hers. Urquhart sipped his. She watched him with a curious look on her face. “That was very ill done, Prime Minister, what was done to Steed.”

“I can assure you—“ He suddenly felt a sharp pang in his chest. “I can assure—“ His knees started to give way. He dropped the tea cup, which spilled its contents on the carpet.

“Feeling unwell, Prime Minister?” Mrs. Peel asked.

“What—“ He suddenly found it difficult to breath.

“What you’re feeling, Prime Minister, is a coronary, induced by a drug developed for the service that employed me. In a minute or two you will be dead.”

Urquhart fell to his knees. “Why—“

“It was very ill done what was done to Steed.”

“You…won’t…get away…with—“

“Oh, but I shall. I have. Not tox screen in the world will detect the poison. You will have died in the winter of your life of a heart attack. One thing. You don’t have to worry about all of that damaging material. It will be destroyed. The bitter irony is, Prime Minister, is that I admire what you’ve done for our country. However I cannot approve of your methods. In any case, you legacy will be quite safe. You will be quite safe.”

Urquhart made some inarticulate sounds. Then he fell down and gave out one last breath.

“My God, what have you done?” asked Alan Shore.

“Justice,” replied Mrs. Peel. She paused for a second. “You better run and get someone. The longest serving Prime Minister in British history seems to have died.”

Alan Shore gave one last appalled look then he fled from the room,.

[Iamwinterborn]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :eek::eek::eek:

BUT WAIT!!! He has a clone!!! :D

[shermpotter]

What a quick and cruel end. I hope he DOES have a clone. BTW, I never liked Emma Peel....

Tom

[MarkWhittington]

Nothing lasts forever. Even the longest, the most glittering reign must come to an end someday.

But who will follow? Who indeed?

[MarkWhittington]

Sir Francis Urquhart, the longest serving British Prime Minister in history, lay in state at Westminster Abbey for three days. It was estimated that a million people filed past the casket, guarded by representatives from each of the British armed services.

After the lying in state, the casket was transported on a gun carriage drawn by a single black horse, led by an officer from Urquhart’s old regiment. The funeral procession to St. Paul’s included soldiers from many of the old regiments that Urquhart had revived during his program on military expansion. It also included heads of state from over a hundred and fifty countries, including the American President. The streets were lined with millions of people, silent, still, paying their last respects. A nineteen gun salute was fired. An over flight of RAF planes swoop overhead in a missing man formation.

After the funeral service, the casket was taken to Waterloo Station and was loaded onto a special train. The train would take a week to take Urquhart to his final resting place at Castle Urquhart, in a tomb that had been prepared for him in the Castle chapel. It would slow as it passed through several British towns as people lined the tracks to pay their respects.

In later years, Castle Urquhart would be the headquarters of the Urquhart Institute of Diplomacy and Peace. A few who had known the Prime Minister intimately appreciated the irony.

After burying her lifelong friend in a simple grave in Shropshire, Emma Peel returned to a cottage and took out a stack of folders . The fireplace crackled hungrily.

“Are you sure about this?” the man who was with her asked.

“I made a promise. And I keep them, even when made to monsters.” With that she threw the stack in the fire. In short order the fire consumed the last record of Francis Urquhart’s misdeeds. His legacy would be safe.

Francis Urquhart, the historians agreed eventually, was not a good man. But he was indisputably a great man. He would have laughed and said, "No, a sound man." Reagrdless he had made Great Britain into a major power again, whose influence was felt across the world. Sooner than anyone thought, that influence would be felt beyond the world. The first man on Mars would be the commander of a Commonwealth expedition and would arrive a full year before the American expedition.

But the end of the twenty first century, Britain had an Empire again upon which the sun never set. And it was not because the Empire was spread across the Earth. It was spread beyond a single globe and many thought it would eventually reach the stars.

Rule Britannia.

[PMN1]

Presumably al Zarqawi is going to feel a little forgotten about....

:cool:

[Sargon]

I have a very hard time believing someone like F.U. would fall for such an obvious thing as that.....just doesn't seem plausible. Letting someone who's rather angry with you pour tea for you. I mean someone that daft pretty much deserves it.

Still, at least Hong Kong is effectively back. That's something. Next thing is to end the Republic and have a Governor again, with a First/Prime Minister.


Sargon

[MarkWhittington]

I have a very hard time believing someone like F.U. would fall for such an obvious thing as that.....just doesn't seem plausible. Letting someone who's rather angry with you pour tea for you. I mean someone that daft pretty much deserves it.

Still, at least Hong Kong is effectively back. That's something. Next thing is to end the Republic and have a Governor again, with a First/Prime Minister.


Sargon

You have to remember that in the other timeline, FU allowed himself to be shot to death at the arrangement of his own wife.

[Sargon]

You have to remember that in the other timeline, FU allowed himself to be shot to death at the arrangement of his own wife.

Yep, but that was pretty much out of his control. Here he could at least be suspicious enough to think, "Hmm, someone could slip something into my drink if I piss them off enough, even if we usually get on well enough, better not take any chances.",

Or maybe that's just me being the paranoid type. Anyway, it's what I would be thinking about. I'm often like that day to day, having suspicious thoughts about people....I'm pretty similar to the Rhinotmetos in that regard....hmmm, maybe that's why I like him somewhat..... :p

Still don't take it as a big complaint, it's not and I've thoroughly enjoyed this, and as you say nothing lasts forever and quite right too.

So, are ye going to follow it up with something else? :D


Sargon

[MarkWhittington]

Yep, but that was pretty much out of his control. Here he could at least be suspicious enough to think, "Hmm, someone could slip something into my drink if I piss them off enough, even if we usually get on well enough, better not take any chances.",

Or maybe that's just me being the paranoid type. Anyway, it's what I would be thinking about. I'm often like that day to day, having suspicious thoughts about people....I'm pretty similar to the Rhinotmetos in that regard....hmmm, maybe that's why I like him somewhat..... :p

Still don't take it as a big complaint, it's not and I've thoroughly enjoyed this, and as you say nothing lasts forever and quite right too.

So, are ye going to follow it up with something else? :D

Sargon


I'm thinking of some sort of homage to Flashman. Still working on it, though.

[Sanderford]

I have a very hard time believing someone like F.U. would fall for such an obvious thing as that.....just doesn't seem plausible. Letting someone who's rather angry with you pour tea for you. I mean someone that daft pretty much deserves it.

Still, at least Hong Kong is effectively back. That's something. Next thing is to end the Republic and have a Governor again, with a First/Prime Minister.


Sargon

Keep in mind, he was quite old at the time. Everybody makes mistakes, and he just so happened to make a terrible one.

[RPW@Cy]

You have to remember that in the other timeline, FU allowed himself to be shot to death at the arrangement of his own wife.

Okay, here's a thought. What if in some weird sort of way FU actually wanted (even if only subconciously) things to end this way? It would certainly explain the recklessness Sargon is unhappy about. After all, as has already been pointed out he must be very old by now (in his 80's?) and is probably aware of his waning powers and must be feeling increasingly tired and frail. I suspect too that he is aware of Enoch Powell's dictum (the one about all political careers ending in failure) and has quite sufficient ego to want to be seen to beat it, after all having achieved so much everything can only be downhill from here. So he arranges a meeting with someone who has the skills to do him harm, but the discretion and general "soundness" to ensure it's all done quietly and deniably and who will protect his legacy afterwards. And then at the meeting he gives her the motivation to put those skills into effect. Even his own death is then used to entrench his legacy and confirm his legend.

Is all this even remotely plausible or just a bit too far out?...

[MarkWhittington]

Okay, here's a thought. What if in some weird sort of way FU actually wanted (even if only subconciously) things to end this way? It would certainly explain the recklessness Sargon is unhappy about. After all, as has already been pointed out he must be very old by now (in his 80's?) and is probably aware of his waning powers and must be feeling increasingly tired and frail. I suspect too that he is aware of Enoch Powell's dictum (the one about all political careers ending in failure) and has quite sufficient ego to want to be seen to beat it, after all having achieved so much everything can only be downhill from here. So he arranges a meeting with someone who has the skills to do him harm, but the discretion and general "soundness" to ensure it's all done quietly and deniably and who will protect his legacy afterwards. And then at the meeting he gives her the motivation to put those skills into effect. Even his own death is then used to entrench his legacy and confirm his legend.

Is all this even remotely plausible or just a bit too far out?...


You know what I'm tempted to say...

You do have an interesting theory. I've read of just the same one surrounding the death of Julius Caesar. Certain Urquhart is just the sort who would think of that kind of exit.

[Sanderford]

It's a possibility, and the story is yours, but I would personally think it much more likely that he was just so accustomed to succeeding in his many plots that an idea like failure had not occurred to him at all. Purely arrogance. It has done in more than one man.

Much as I like some of the things he did, his methods were too extreme even for my tastes...though not by very much.

[David bar Elias]

Very good story. Well done. :cool:

[ImperialVienna]

I must say I have enjoyed reading this a great deal, to the extent that I went out and looked for both the books and the BBC Mini Series. I actually found the Mini Series this weekend on dvd, purchased it and have gotten through House of Cards, To Play the King, and the 1st episode of Final Cut.

[Neroon]

Great story. Feels like an alternate version of Book 3. One should read it only after watching the Mini-Series though, then one can match Ian Richardsons voice into your writing.

[Basileus Giorgios]

Wow
Wow
Wow
incredible work...

[Jack_Straw]

Something involving Flashy, you say? Excellent! Can't wait!

[Caractacus]

Bumping this so that others can read and enjoy (plus it means I can find this thread more easily :p)

[Basileus Giorgios]

Bumping this so that others can read and enjoy (plus it means I can find this thread more easily :p)

I shall do that too. :D. Someone needs to do a prequel to this, featuring Francis Urquhard's career up to 2001. I for one would be fascinated to see what antics he got up to in between the first series (set in 1991ish), the second series (set in 1995ish) and this.

[Detroitman32]

I wanted to say, it was this story that got me into AH.com. I loved House of Cards. Oh, and:

[marcus_aurelius]

Great story Mark!!

A few comments regarding Hong Kong:

1. I'm a little bit (mind you, just a little bit) concerned over the Return of the Crown (I came from Hong Kong, afterall), but then again, I would prefer that over what was perceived to be Chinese Government meddling of our internal affairs

2. There's not much land in Hong Kong that can provide bases for the Hong Kong Defense Force (HKDF). Here are some possibilities:

a. Shek Kong Airfield or Kai Tak Airport for air elements (Chek Lap Kok can be turned into a military/civilian airport if needed, I guess)
b. Stonecutter's Island for naval units
c. Stanley Barracks for ground forces
d. HMS Tamar as the HQ, with commando units stationed nearby (possibly evolved from the police's SDU, Special Duties Unit)

Marc A

P.S. all installations above are currently used by the People's Liberation Army Hong Kong Garrison

[Tovarich]

Totally terrific thread, Mark, and one I would have missed had some kindly soul not bumped it after two years.

My only little gripe was this bit:
“This is all very interesting, Mrs. Peel,” Alan Shore said, “but I’m not sure I can help you in this matter. For one thing, this seems to be within the jurisdiction of the British courts.”

I was hoping Alan Shore wouldn't agree to the proposal until she brought it to him on her hands & knees, carrying the documentation in her mouth:p

[JedidiahStott]

...And it was not because the Empire was spread across the Earth. It was spread beyond a single globe and many thought it would eventually reach the stars


Sigh. I remember when once we believed that. Thought it just a matter of time. And then somewhere along the line humanity chickened out. Ichabod.

[The Other Les]

Sigh. I remember when once we believed that. Thought it just a matter of time. And then somewhere along the line humanity chickened out. Ichabod.

One of my personal projects was the creation of a home brew universe for the Classic Traveller science fiction role playing game. I thought it would be rather cool to include FU as part of the background history of the Homebrew Universe. So I started experimenting with writing background fiction.

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/03/legacy-chapter-one.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/03/legacy-chapter-two.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/04/legacy.html (chapter three)

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/04/legacy_04.html (chapter four)

Chapter five directly refers to this thread.

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/04/legacy_12.html (chapter five)

[MarkWhittington]

One of my personal projects was the creation of a home brew universe for the Classic Traveller science fiction role playing game. I thought it would be rather cool to include FU as part of the background history of the Homebrew Universe. So I started experimenting with writing background fiction.

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/03/legacy-chapter-one.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/03/legacy-chapter-two.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/04/legacy.html (chapter three)

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/04/legacy_04.html (chapter four)

Chapter five directly refers to this thread.

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/04/legacy_12.html (chapter five)

Oh, that is so choice.

[ImperialVienna]

I love it!

[The Other Les]

Oh, that is so choice.

Thank you, sir!

[The Other Les]

I love it!

There's more, but it doesn't directly involve FU.

The prologue to The Way Of Being represents a radical revision of the storyline. An alternative history, if you will.

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/08/way-of-being-prologue.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/08/way-of-being-chapter-one.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/10/way-of-being-chapter-two.html

The Keller Memoirs is a first person narrative of John March's chief henchman that starts with FU's funeral.

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2008/12/from-unpublished-memoirs-of-allen.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2009/01/from-unpublished-memoirs-of-allen.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2009/01/from-unpublished-memoirs-of-allen_21.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2009/01/alternate-history.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2009/01/keller-memoirs.html

http://mopu.blogspot.com/2009/01/keller-memoirs_25.html