The Time Television

[thecreeper]

I got the colbert report, stephen is faux crying cause fox news was bought out by some liberal company

[the_lyniezian]

And coming up next on BBC1...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LhJ3_VD2K0&feature=related

EDIT: Pity they could put some different programmes on in this ATL.

[Chris Oakley]

Yeah, he is.................

Wait, is that.............................................. ................TONY BLAIR!?!?!?!?!:eek:

By gum, it is! :eek:

[EvolvedLupine]

He said the Dutch in Quebec have invaded Maine.....and he said it in Portugese!:eek::eek:

Huh, what a TL that must be:eek:

[the_lyniezian]

Isn't there anything more interesting than war on?

Hmmm, what's this? Stockton playing in the FA Cup final? And beating Man U?

(turns frequency dial to BBC2)

The London Viola Sound, live in concert.

(turns dial to...ITV1?)

Nope, just BBC3. With ads. Can't I ever find a TL where the BBC has no ads as our own does?

More sport. Apparently the korfball results.

(turns dial to...?)

Tyne Tees, also showing the FA Cup.

(loses signal, and switches off)

[the_lyniezian]

And coming up next on BBC1...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LhJ3_VD2K0&feature=related

EDIT: Pity they could put some different programmes on in this ATL.

Should read "couldn't" not "could" BTW.

[Puget Sound]

"This is PBS, the Public Broadcasting System. And now, the PBS Evening News with Jon Stewart...

"Hello, I'm Jon Stewart. Today's headlines: The Republic of Ethiopia denounced the growing Rastafari cult movement today in a press conference of top ministers. The government sees the cult as a growing threat to stability in the nation, as the Rastafari movement advocates the overthrow of what many see as a overly corrupt government. And U.S President Thande is facing ever-growing support for his impeachment as crowds of protesters against the war in New Zealand equipped with signs saying 'Blame Thande' grow outside the White House..."

[Puget Sound]

Isn't there anything more interesting than war on?

Hmmm, what's this? Stockton playing in the FA Cup final? And beating Man U?

(turns frequency dial to BBC2)

The London Viola Sound, live in concert.

(turns dial to...ITV1?)

Nope, just BBC3. With ads. Can't I ever find a TL where the BBC has no ads as our own does?

More sport. Apparently the korfball results.

(turns dial to...?)

Tyne Tees, also showing the FA Cup.

(loses signal, and switches off)

I've see plenty of TLs where the BBC has no ads like our own does. You just have to know where to look. ;)

[EvolvedLupine]

Hmmm, looks like a CNN shot from Atlanta, but there a big ass fire in the city, lot and lots of smoke.................


WTF is that?

Some sort of machine, on four legs, with tentacles coming out the bottom!!!!!!!!


It looks like it's carrying a raygun!

It's rasing it!!!

Oh, Jesus Christ, CNN just went dark!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::(:(

[Georgepatton]

Hmmm, looks like a CNN shot from Atlanta, but there a big ass fire in the city, lot and lots of smoke.................


WTF is that?

Some sort of machine, on four legs, with tentacles coming out the bottom!!!!!!!!


It looks like it's carrying a raygun!

It's rasing it!!!

Oh, Jesus Christ, CNN just went dark!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::(:(
That's probably some kinda movie. If it were real, there'd be more screaming and swearing.

[Chris Oakley]

Speaking of CNN, I've tuned in to a timeline where their lead anchor is--believe it or not--Art Bell.

[edvader]

Looking at what seem to be the Beatles at the opening of a Wal-mart in Russia!They are starting to sing "I am the Wal Rus.......that's all the scene is gone!:eek:

[the_lyniezian]

BBC Two*: Performance of Fanny Mendelssohn's Viola Concerto No. 2 by some Japanese lady soloist whose name I forget, and the BBC Symphony Orchestra.

Then goes into an ad break :mad:, showing ads for Traidcraft coffee (Fairtrade on TV!), some musical instrument manufacturer advertising violin and violas (apt!) the latest Baird HD-ready TVs (with built in V-CD or Ultra-Betamax VCR???) and the dreaded hair products. Nice touch being the little cartoons in between each ad like the German public TV stations do.

(adjusts tuning knob...)

Tyne Tees covering the Blaydon Race.

(adjusts tuning again...)

BBC1- end credits of Eastenders :mad::confused: going into ads. Coming up next is a prog called The Arena, some sort of videogame-based game show. Should be interesting, but back over to BBC2 for now...

Hang on, let's see what else is on...

Channel 4 News, top story being the achievement of independence for Tibet, some missing kid called Lyra Banks and more on the credit crunch, obviously in this TL as well...

(retunes again...)

Channel 5- temporary fault.

(retunes again)

Channel 6 :confused:, temporary fault as well :confused::confused::confused::confused:...

(tunes back to BBC2...)

Some dreadful sounding piece being played by the same Japanese lady violist, sounds atonal.

(tunes back to BBC1)
(loses signal- shame!)


*From the logo in the corner.

[the_lyniezian]

Whilst waiting for page to load, fitted new quantum signal disentangler- usually does the trick.

(switches on and tunes in...)


Mastermind, some guy answering questions on the History of the CSA, 1861-1941.

(switches over...)

University Challenge, faint signal, Caedmon College, Durham :confused: playing University of Northumbria apparently. Can't hear the questions.

(switches over...)

Tyne Tees, Dales Diary (nein danke...)

(switches over again...)

Adverts again. Lipstick, hair dyes (all in weird and wonderful colurs), Marconi digital radios and redbush tea, seemingly. And some korfball game, Northumbria vs. Cornwall.

Now a programme trailer for a production of As You Like It, on the RSC channel next Tuesday at 9pm. Then another for some unrecognisable American sitcom on Channel 4. Then Tyne Tees ident, and signal goes bust again...

I really must avoid getting cheap rubbishy parts for this thing. Anybody reccomend a good make, and where to find it?

[EvolvedLupine]

That's probably some kinda movie. If it were real, there'd be more screaming and swearing.
Nope, it's real.

[Chris Oakley]

Whilst waiting for page to load, fitted new quantum signal disentangler- usually does the trick.

(switches on and tunes in...)


Mastermind, some guy answering questions on the History of the CSA, 1861-1941.

(switches over...)

University Challenge, faint signal, Caedmon College, Durham :confused: playing University of Northumbria apparently. Can't hear the questions.

(switches over...)

Tyne Tees, Dales Diary (nein danke...)

(switches over again...)

Adverts again. Lipstick, hair dyes (all in weird and wonderful colurs), Marconi digital radios and redbush tea, seemingly. And some korfball game, Northumbria vs. Cornwall.

Now a programme trailer for a production of As You Like It, on the RSC channel next Tuesday at 9pm. Then another for some unrecognisable American sitcom on Channel 4. Then Tyne Tees ident, and signal goes bust again...

I really must avoid getting cheap rubbishy parts for this thing. Anybody reccomend a good make, and where to find it?

Have you tried Circuit City? :D

[the_lyniezian]

Have you tried Circuit City? :D

Do they do imports?

I guess I could always try Maplin.

Or somewhere online...

[Puget Sound]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=X2N56Kwy4PE

It appears that the BBC has a hamster indent in this timeline... :D

[Chris Oakley]

Do they do imports?

I'm not sure, but if you want to find out you could visit the "Help" section at Circuitcity.com.

[Puget Sound]

I'm getting something here...

"...(said by a claymation cow with a sign waving to people driving by saying "Eat More Chickin!"): Chick-fil-a is the BESZ! Eat more chickin!"

(The cow then runs away from a farmer with what appears to be a black, scary-looking peice of equipment marked "Mobile Slaughterhouse".)

Voiceover: "Help save Bessy! It's time to stop eating those boring burgers (a picture of a 'boring' burger appears on the screen) and start going to Chick-fil-a! (picture of a absolutely delicious chicken sandwich appears)

"And now, you can get any of our sandwiches for just one dollar! But hurry up, (the cow appears again, running away from the farmer and into a Chick-fil-a) before this offer disappears!"


http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c276/Cascadian_Patriot/Debbie_Shlussel_Hijab.jpg

It's CBS, but the evening news is being presented by Debbie Shlussel in a hijab!

"And welcome back to the CBS Evening News. Today, Israelis and Arabs alike gather to remember the day when the first war ever to use WMDs by both sides occurred in 1979. Today, marches for peace and the cause to ensure it will never happen again and going on throughout the world. We now go live to our reporter Robert oakley in Tel Aviv. Bob?"

[Chris Oakley]

Uh, guys, I hope you're not planning to visit New Orleans anytime soon, because my latest glimpse of the Time Television shows zombies running loose near the Superdome devouring human flesh everywhere they can find it. :eek: :(

[Georgepatton]

Uh, guys, I hope you're not planning to visit New Orleans anytime soon, because my latest glimpse of the Time Television shows zombies running loose near the Superdome devouring human flesh everywhere they can find it. :eek: :(
That could just be a regular after-game riot. You know those Saints's fans.:rolleyes:
EDIT: WHOOT! 500!

[Chris Oakley]

Saints fans, huh? That would explain the Reggie Bush shirt I saw the lead zombie wearing... :D

[TheDarkServant]

Tuning in.. 30th May 2024.

Ah yes, I got a picture.

"See, as demonstrated we can get an image of the past, at the moment we seem to be watching some good looking member of society.. Why his watching us on his very how television set.. How Novel!"

*Whispered off to the side* "Get Time Corps.. We can't have them watching us like this"

"Now back to our usual programming, 'iTop of the Pops!' presented by the heads of Vernon Kay!

[Chris Oakley]

Speaking of Vernon Kay, I'm seeing a newsreel of him as head of the British Union of Fascists... :confused: :eek:

[Thande]

Speaking of Vernon Kay, I'm seeing a newsreel of him as head of the British Union of Fascists... :confused: :eek:

What is his hair length?

[the_lyniezian]

What is his hair length?

I picked up a TL where the facists had long hair once!

[Chris Oakley]

What is his hair length?

Believe it or not, he's sporting a buzzcut.

[the_lyniezian]

Managed to scoop a USB crosstime TV stick just the other day, so I can watch it on my laptop... (The software automatically loads off the device, and it's open source...:cool:)

Unfortunately I'm only getting very scratchy reception at present, teletext pages it looks like only higher resolution than OTL. No news, just silly jokes which can't be understood in OTL it seems.

[Chris Oakley]

Try this reception booster. :D

[mattep74]

I am watching a new show. Its the world cup, in videogames. The nerds own that world

[the_lyniezian]

I am watching a new show. Its the world cup, in videogames. The nerds own that world

I caught the Tetris European Championships myself recently...

[Chris Oakley]

I just saw our own Ian Montgomerie in a speed-skating competition. :D

[the_lyniezian]

I just saw our own Ian Montgomerie in a speed-skating competition. :D

You know what Ian looks like? (Not impossible- you might be a personal freind for all I know...)

[Chris Oakley]

I figured it out by the screen caption. ;)

[Puget Sound]

I have a video of the British Prime Minister making a speech about how the "British Empire has truly ensured world peace" by conquering the world. :eek:

[Chris Oakley]

I have a video of the British prime minister breakdancing. :D

[Student Geologist]

It's a news report

"Good evening, this is Brian McCleod for the BBC on the 8th of December 2023. Tonight's top story, the British 9th Fleet has engaged enemy forces in the North Sea. The invaders..."

It cuts out there, but the images on it were of several warships firing on other warships, all jet black...

[The Vet]

..and now, our new sitcom set in the newly conquered Reichterritories: "Heil Honey, I'm Home",

[Ming777]

I'm tapping to Sportnet, seems to still exist by 2067,

Sportsnet Central, April 25 2067
"Well Bob it seems that the Leafs will never, ever win the Stanley Cup."

"Yes Sarah, it's been a full century since they last won the cup in 1967. The closest they ever had was in 2035 when they miraculously reached the finals only to lose to the Vancouver Canucks in a humiliating 4-game shutout streak!"

"Right you are Bob..."

Now from the BBC, July 31, 2012

"Today, the worst air disaster in the history of the world has occurred just an hour ago. Two A380s, one British Airways and the other from Emirates, collided on the runway. I repeat two A380s, both full of Tourists and Athletes arriving for the Olympics here have crashed on the runway.
(Video of Heathrow airport covered by smoke begins to play)
Casualties are estimated at over a thousand people. One anonymous viewer and e-mailed us home video showing the collision
(Home video of two A380s crashing and bursting into flames)

CTV News, 2025
"Good evening, the Canadian forces are celebrating the commissioning of the Advanced HMCS Bonaventure, a brand new Gerald Ford Class Carrier sold for a bargain $100,000,000 Canadian after the US Navy failed to pay the expected price of US$2.2 Billion for what would have been the USS George Walker Bush....she is to be used as a mobile platform for our CF-35 Lightning II fighters..."

Dang, the thing shut down... I'll have to try again tomorrow.

[stirlingdraka]

OK Hang on I think I`m getting something here it`s some kind of news channel there`s a logo with ANN in the corner the man is saying "with the destruction of New York, London and San Francisco the Alliance for Democracy"... sounds of shooting and some people yelling "Snakes!"
the annoucer is shot.

Turn over

A man is laying on a metal wheel the woman? annoucer is saying "Fo` shooting at a Citizen this bushman along with his entire family is sentenced to death."

Close up of the American man as his broken body is lifted by men in green uniform onto a large sharp impaling stake.

[Puget Sound]

"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the Eurasian and North American Union, Albert Gore Jr.!"

[Puget Sound]

"This is BBC One, now, we go live to the State of the British Republic speech for 2008, by president Tony Blair..."

[VulcanTrekkie45]

I got what looks like the Olympic hurling final between Ireland and Carthage. Broadcast in Dutch. Map Continuation universe, perhaps?

[Chris Oakley]

"This is Monday Night Football on ESPN, and you're watching the defending Super Bowl Champion Detroit Lions take on the Los Angeles Rams..."

[Puget Sound]

"This... is Sky News."

"Retiring Prime Minister Tony Wheeler has announced that Peter Garrett will be his successor in leading Labor after the 2008 elections.

Israel and Palestine prepare for the joint 2008 World Cup, due to start today.

Senator Cindy McCain of the Democratic Party has won the primary for the Democratic Party's nominee for President of the United States.

It is 7 o'clock in Sidney and 8 o'clock in Auckland. This is Sky News for 18th July 2008."

[the_lyniezian]

"This... is Sky News."

"Retiring Prime Minister Tony Wheeler has announced that Peter Garrett will be his successor in leading Labor after the 2008 elections.

Israel and Palestine prepare for the joint 2008 World Cup, due to start today.

Senator Cindy McCain of the Democratic Party has won the primary for the Democratic Party's nominee for President of the United States.

It is 7 o'clock in Sidney and 8 o'clock in Auckland. This is Sky News for 18th July 2008."

That as well! :D

I need to get my box fixed- after the laptop costing £100 tho' I dread to think how much it will be for a crosstime TV reciever! And I'm running out of cash.

Do you know how you can get the satellite adaptor you obvously seem to have?

[Puget Sound]

That as well! :D

I need to get my box fixed- after the laptop costing £100 tho' I dread to think how much it will be for a crosstime TV reciever! And I'm running out of cash.

Do you know how you can get the satellite adaptor you obvously seem to have?

I brought my satelite adaptor on eBay for $20- there's lots of them on sale there for cheap prices! The same goes for the crosstime TV receiver.

[Chris Oakley]

Getting back to business...

"Tonight on Nightline: Vice-President Kemp reacts to the news of Chinese occupation of San Francisco..."

[Puget Sound]

"And now, on Larry King Live, America's favorite husband and wife comedy duo, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin!"

:eek:

Maybe I should try something else...

"This is BBC Breakfast, and now, an interview with the Middle East's favorite sitcom couple, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Tzipi Livni!"

:eek::eek:

This is one heck of a timeline here...

[Chris Oakley]

"This is KMOX-AM 1200, St. Louis. Time now is 12:30, and our top story at this hour: residents of Kansas City are still struggling to dig out from the wreckage left by yesterday's super-tornado...."

[Puget Sound]

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c276/Cascadian_Patriot/blair_gurdwara.jpg

"And now, we are getting a live feed of Prime Minister Tony Blair of the Glorious British Empire holding the Spear of Destiny that allowed Britain to conquer the world by the 1950s, surrounded by his stylishly dressed Sikh bodyguards. This is the Imperial Broadcasting Corporation News Network. The time now is 17:00 GST, and we have more on the liberation of the Islamic Interstellar Caliphate by the Glorious Empire, just after these messages."

:eek:

[Chris Oakley]

"Coming up next on NBC Nightly News: more fallout from the murder of longtime New York Knicks owner James Dolan...."

[e350tb]

I'm getting something.

"JOIN US OR FACE OUR WRATH, ENGLISH SCHWIEN!"

:eek::eek:

My TV just exploded.

[the_lyniezian]

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c276/Cascadian_Patriot/blair_gurdwara.jpg

"And now, we are getting a live feed of Prime Minister Tony Blair of the Glorious British Empire holding the Spear of Destiny that allowed Britain to conquer the world by the 1950s, surrounded by his stylishly dressed Sikh bodyguards. This is the Imperial Broadcasting Corporation News Network. The time now is 17:00 GST, and we have more on the liberation of the Islamic Interstellar Caliphate by the Glorious Empire, just after these messages."

:eek:

I agree it's scary. This TL's version of the BBC has adverts! :rolleyes:;)

[The History Keeper]

I see former president George W. Bush on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. He gets the first question wrong which was, "Who was the 43rd and worst president?" but is saved by the kid. The next question is, "What state is Washington DC in?" He guesses Texas and is booted out of the game. He says to the camera, "I am former president Bush, and I am not smarter than a fifth grader." Everyone laughs. :D

I see something in the year 2013 about Y3K, the second scare of the end of the world. Nothing happened that day except pure insanity. :eek:

Quote: The only good thing about politics is watching them be made fun of on Saturday Night Live.

[Puget Sound]

http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm318/dinozhivago/Rachel_leigh_cook2.jpghttp://www.paklinks.com/gsmedia/files/46341/angelina_muslim_by_alosh3.jpg

I getting a channel covering Muslim-American actress and singer Rachel Leigh Cook's appearance at Anugerah Juara Lagu 2008 in Malaysia with fellow hijabi Angelina Jolie.

[Puget Sound]

I'm getting a video feed of U.S Marines in dress uniform singing "America, our home and native land..."

[the_lyniezian]

I'm getting a video feed of U.S Marines in dress uniform singing "America, our home and native land..."

How exactly is this interesting? What location is t from? (check your x, y, z co-ordinate displacement or equivalent).

[Puget Sound]

How exactly is this interesting? What location is t from? (check your x, y, z co-ordinate displacement or equivalent).

Americans are singing a different version of a certain country's national anthem...

[the_lyniezian]

Americans are singing a different version of a certain country's national anthem...

Ah- which, tho'?

[Puget Sound]

Ah- which, tho'?

Figure it out. If you give up, highlight the sentence below:

It's Canada's!

[the_lyniezian]

Figure it out. If you give up, highlight the sentence below:

It's Canada's!

Thought so... but still needed to check.

[Chris Oakley]

Check this out... :p:rolleyes:

"This is The CBS Evening News With Pauly Shore...."

[The History Keeper]

I see something called: The Sarah Palin show on CBS...:eek:

[Chris Oakley]

"Coming up on MSNBC: more fallout from the resignation of Treasury Secretary Hugh Hefner..."

[glenn67]

All right. I've cleared the static. Wolf Blitzer is appearing on the screen.

"Now live from the Oval Office, an address from the Chancellor of the North American Union Gordon Brown."

[Chris Oakley]

"This just in to CNN: the suspected assassin of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has been reported missing..."

[Puget Sound]

"The invasion of America by Canadian forces is going well, according to Governor-General Stephen Harper..."

[Puget Sound]

"God Bless the Unified States of Earth..."

[Berra]

"The Fourthgress, the fourth house in the federal goverment elected proportionally according to income, have blocked a bill ftom the Fifthate where the members are elected by their educasional level. Speaker Hilton from the Famegress (elected by media apperance) tried to breake the deadlock."

[Puget Sound]

"The Fourthgress, the fourth house in the federal goverment elected proportionally according to income, have blocked a bill ftom the Fifthate where the members are elected by their educasional level. Speaker Hilton from the Famegress (elected by media apperance) tried to breake the deadlock."

I wish this forum had a LOL smiliey... :mad::p

And how many houses are in this ATL Congress, anyway?

[Unknown]

"Coming up next on CBS Evening News With Dan Rather: The city of Dallas was supposed to be celebrating the Cowboys's Super Bowl win over the Buffalo Bills. But now, the city is in mourning as the plane carrying the team from Los Angeles to Dallas crashed while trying to make an emergency landing at Phoenix International Airport following engine trouble...Of the 191 people on the plane, 101 are confirmed dead, including owner Jerry Jones, coach Jimmy Johnson, and many Cowboys football players and other employees of the organization. The names of the other dead are being withheld at this time pending notification of the families."

[Chris Oakley]

"Coming up later on NBC Nightly News: what the collapse of Paramount Pictures will mean for the rest of the entertainment industry...."