Human-sized cats

[Max Sinister]

ASBs decide that the world needs another human-like species, so they change all cats in the world into what we could call "cat humans". They're human-sized, can walk on both two and four legs, have a brain with equal abilities as the human's ones, are able to speak human languages and, as a special bonus, have human hands (but still with retractable claws in their fingertips). they also still have a coat (same color as they had before, too), a cat's eyes, sharp teeth, a tail, cat-like senses, and are strict carnivores. Oh, and if you want, they've still got their cat-typical character.

What would happen? How would society change?

[Straha]

expect intra-human racism to vanish. The US government will suddenly decide that maybe te drugs of choice of inner city blacks don't need to be illeglized. Expect the cat-humans to be enslaved with moralizing laws aimed at social control vanishing. The KKK and Nazi party would become anti cat-human. Expect black and jewish members of the KKK and NSDAP to be inducted. Imagine inner city gangstas cooperating iwth the KKK and police in a brutal campaign of genocide.

[tom]

Hmmmm..."Top Cat" anyone?

[Max Sinister]

Oh, that's all? Come on, folks...

@tom: I don't get it. Top Gun? Cat on top? Or what?
@Straha: Naah, old grudges don't die that fast. Maybe a new anti-cat org would be founded, where white, black, Xian and Jewish cat-haters would meet, but I can't imagine a Jew joining NSDAP...

Here are my ideas:

The new cat humans would have to find their place in the human society. I can easily imagine that there would be internal struggles (sooner or later - but I guess sooner, since cats tend to be individualist) between what we could call Moderates and the cat humans who don't want to forget their predator nature...

Predator: "Cooperate with humans? Ha! What's up with you? Oh, let me guess: They neutered you, didn't they? No way we cooperate with them! We want our own cat state in North America! And another one in Europe! And on every other continent! And we'll sue China for all the cats they've eaten!"

"The predators"... sounds quite cool. Maybe such a community would actually come into existence. In the states where humans hunt cat people, they'd be the underground army, in other societies they could form something like the NOACP (National Organization for the Advancement of Cat People).

States which are against people bearing arms (European countries, or more possible Singapore or so) could try to impose laws for the cat people: "You can live here, but only if you agree to remove your fangs and claws!" Subsequently forming the NCA (National Claws' Association): "You want our claws? Only from our cold dead paws!"

In other states with harsher laws, the government actually could hunt the cat humans. And little old ladies would hide the one or other, like Germans hid Jews during the Nazi Reich...

But in other states, the cats could successfully be integrated into society. There are some job possibilities: cat humans could serve in special units of the military (except navy, maybe) and police (making the cat burglars' life definitely harder), as athletes and artists, as bodyguards for little old ladies (they can sleep 18 hours per day, but with their special senses, they'll hear any intruder immediately), as athletes (ok, you'd have to invent new sports for them) and artists. Of course, the not-so-well off cats will have to do other jobs... rat catcher, f.e. ("Yes Mam, we don't use poison. Everything purely ecological!" - "Er, yes... but what do you actually do with the rats?") And if they're really unlucky... well, read this dialog (if you're old enough):
Pimp: "I've got something special for you, sir... a Siamese..."
"Sir": "A Siamese? But that's not that special..."
Pimp: "No, Sir not a Siamese woman... a Siamese!"

What else would happen?
- Hollywood would remake "cat people". And do the Catwoman movie (without Halle Berry). And turn "Cats" into a movie, too. (If they can find cat humans who like that stuff.) And maybe a Garfield movie, too.
- There certainly would be a TV show about two cops (one human, one cat) having to work together, buddy-movie-like. And maybe a TV show about a human woman and her best friend - a cat human.
- You would see cat humans everywhere on the street relaxing. And humans grumbling: "Damn lazy cats... sleep 20 hours per day, dammit..." ("No, it's 17 hours only, honestly!")

[Leej]

Today on Jerry Springer- I had an affair with my cat.

I think the massed carnage of something like that suddenly happening would wreck the world quite enough...

[tom]

Max:
"Top Cat" was an animated cartoon from the 60s, often reshown (a few years ago on Cartoon Network and currently on Boomerang if I am correct) which was set in a world where humans and cats were both "people". Other species were smarter than their OTL equivalents, but not bipedal or talking. Top Cat was a New York City con artist who headed a gang of fellow felines in swindling and tricking the human policeman Officer Dibble.

[Landshark]

Max:
"Top Cat" was an animated cartoon from the 60s, often reshown (a few years ago on Cartoon Network and currently on Boomerang if I am correct) which was set in a world where humans and cats were both "people". Other species were smarter than their OTL equivalents, but not bipedal or talking. Top Cat was a New York City con artist who headed a gang of fellow felines in swindling and tricking the human policeman Officer Dibble.

And of course based on the Phil Silvers Show.

It was also known as Boss Cat for years in the UK as the BBC didn't want to give free advertising to a certain brand of cat food.

[tom]

Here's some info:

http://www.dfcom.freeserve.co.uk/hbw/topcat/

[Max Sinister]

Thanx folx, now I know everything I need to know about Top Cat.

Any comments about the topic, or my texts?

[tom]

Would no-weapon states make humans remove their teeth and nails? After all, humans can scratch and bite some...just not as well as cat-humans. This would be a good argument for the cat-humans to use.

[Kuralyov]

Anyone here ever read the "Known Space" or "Ringworld" series' by Larry Niven? Although it's scifi, one of the main plot points are a centuries-long series of wars between humans and cat-like aliens called the kzin. The kzin are a very martial race (think Spartans) and use 'scream and leap' strategies, ie not much planning, just depending on size and bravery of their warriors to win. Needless to say, the crafty humans get the better of them every time, and eventually teach them docility. Oh yes, and only the kzinti males are sentient, their females aren't.

Somewhat off topic I know, but when I saw cat-people, I couldn't resist.

[Straha]

the difference is that cat-people are humans with some catlike figures and humanlike cats are merely intelligent, kzin like cats.

[Landshark]

Would no-weapon states make humans remove their teeth and nails? After all, humans can scratch and bite some...just not as well as cat-humans. This would be a good argument for the cat-humans to use.

I'm not sure if declawing is legal here in Britain or whether it's regarded as animal cruelty. I remember seeing a British vet on TV a few years back decrying this barbaric American practice and saying that no British vet would carry it out.

[tom]

I would like to think that we could learn to get along, but as my stories show, we very likely would go into a genocidal jihad against the cat-humans.
Hope I am wrong, but that is my guess.

[basileus]

I have four cats in my house, Silvestro, Alba, Soraya and Johnny.
I've ever dreamed to have a girlfriend who can purr...

[ktotwf]

I think that people would assume they were a genetic experiment and there would be a huge backlash from the Religious right. Though this whole thread is hilarious.