At the Academy of Alternate History Arts and Sciences

[NapoleonXIV]

Good Evening, and welcome to the Academy of Alternate History Arts and Sciences, the First Annual Turtledove Awards. It seems we are in luck, ladies and gentlemen, for the first of our illustrious guests seems to be rolling up at this very moment.

I have been informed that tonight's first arrival is the famous Fellatio Nelson, who we can just see emerging from the limosine now. And he's....my god...no....he's....how could anyone wear anything so hi....oh no....the crowd is drawing back in justifiably shocked horror, women are screaming, men retching, children laughing. And now, everyone is suddenly fleeing at once, men, women, everyone running and clawing over everyone else, all running, trampling each other in their mad fear and desire to just get away....oh...the humanity......

a click and a pop, followed by snow on the screen and then

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

[DMA]

Doctor What's transmission then cuts into the international broadcast...

The Technical Difficulties message fades from view. In its place we see a sinister yet pleasent looking Canadian...

Ladies and gentlemen of planet Earth, hear me your new lord and master...

[Keenir]

Doctor What's transmission then cuts into the international broadcast...

The Technical Difficulties message fades from view. In its place we see a sinister yet pleasent looking Canadian...

Ladies and gentlemen of planet Earth, hear me your new lord and master...

*crowd starts booing*

"Hey!, where's the Overlord! We're here to pledge eternal fealty to the Overlord!"

[DMA]

Doctor What continues...

I am your Overlord! I am your Father! I am the Alpha and Omega, baby...

[sunsurf]

As Dr. What's monolog continues, he doesn't notice Straha sneaking up on him. Straha places his hands around What's neck, shoves him off his chair and sits down to say,

"I'm here to announce a new era..."

Straha doesn't notice as IronYuppie sneaks up on him and attacks him with her electric yo-yo. She sits down and begins her speech.

Just as she begins, a giant boxing glove swings down from the ceiling, knocking her off-camera, and Diamond walks onscreen in a tux and says, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen..."

Diamond is suddenly tackled by R_N_, running at him at full speed. Diamond is knocked to the floor, R_N_ stands up, stares at the camera and begins giggling nervously as Faelin walks casually by, lifts him off the floor and carries him away. R_N_ keeps giggling.

Grey Wolf comes on camera and says, "Pardon the interruptions. Revolutions are always messy. Don't worry about us, all will be well, eventually. Please continue enjoying the Turtledove Awards..."
:D

[Darkest]

Welcome again to the Turtledoves! And here comes another dark limousine... and out comes Darkest90! The little-known nominee for future history has little chance against superstar Diamond. Check out his dark tuxedo and dark sunglasses, possibly the darkest we have seen here tonight! Keep the lights on that kid, everybody!

Darkest90
Hey everybody! Yeah, I'm just glad to be here with the veterans! Its been great to work with some of these people -

CalBear
Wait a minute, why are you talking? You don't do that here! Keep on along the red carpet! Take those sunglasses off! Horrible! What tuxedo are you wearing? Change it!

Darkest90
Oh! Right ho, just a second there, sorry about that, very stupid of me.

Mr Bondoc
You might consider the considerable consideration of considering the considerment of arriving in a Lincoln instead of a 740iL, obviously the considerable choice in such a considering scenario.

Darkest90
Bondoc! I love you! Thanks for the advice, where does this guy GET this stuff?

CalBear
Move! Move! Wait, no, you tied your shoelaces all wrong! And that cologne must be less than $70! What were you thinking! That tie has to be at least three centimeters shorter!

Darkest90
Hey, I thought it was plausible...

CalBear
Might as well go get the ASBs while you are at it!

Darkest90
ASBs! No way, I'm much better than resorting to that. You know, I might as well just start this all over... See ya guys! Wait for version 2.0 of Darkest90's entrance! Thank you everybody! Good night! *jumps back in limousine*

Mr. Bondoc
Considerable.
***

Hey, two thumbs up, a steel drum and a pot of gold for my correspondants at the Earth Ascendant project! You guys are the best! Good luck to the nominees! My money's for March of the Days Yet Born! Yeah!