God Appears! However...

[Imajin]

The one, true God comes down to earth. However, here's the thing: He is a giant three headed polka-dotted crab, carried by an array of half-dolphin half-persons. Also, he performs several impossible thigns, to prove that he is God.

He announces to the world that, long ago, he attempted to make known his truth upon the world, but as it were, his prophet got himself stabbed by pagans from a nearby tribe who were later massacred by some crusading knights.

As it were, he's not one of the nice gods either. He announces he requires two hundred humans of various races set of fire and left burning until death each day. He also says that each day that this does not happen he will wipe out the population of one nation, starting with the nation with the most...

What does the world do?

[Hermanubis]

The one, true God comes down to earth. However, here's the thing: He is a giant three headed polka-dotted crab, carried by an array of half-dolphin half-persons. Also, he performs several impossible thigns, to prove that he is God.

He announces to the world that, long ago, he attempted to make known his truth upon the world, but as it were, his prophet got himself stabbed by pagans from a nearby tribe who were later massacred by some crusading knights.

As it were, he's not one of the nice gods either. He announces he requires two hundred humans of various races set of fire and left burning until death each day. He also says that each day that this does not happen he will wipe out the population of one nation, starting with the nation with the most...

What does the world do?
Prey to Mighty Apophis For deliverance…

[Glen]

The one, true God comes down to earth. However, here's the thing: He is a giant three headed polka-dotted crab, carried by an array of half-dolphin half-persons. Also, he performs several impossible thigns, to prove that he is God.

He announces to the world that, long ago, he attempted to make known his truth upon the world, but as it were, his prophet got himself stabbed by pagans from a nearby tribe who were later massacred by some crusading knights.

As it were, he's not one of the nice gods either. He announces he requires two hundred humans of various races set of fire and left burning until death each day. He also says that each day that this does not happen he will wipe out the population of one nation, starting with the nation with the most...

What does the world do?

Okay, I had this long reply that got eaten.

Points in summary:

- Appearance doesn't matter
- Not much of a God can't get his message through for this long.
- Doing the 'impossible' means its possible and doesn't prove you're God
- Takes more than power to be God, takes Goodness also. Just like donating genetic material alone does not make you a parent.

Course of the world in light of Crab God's demands:
- China complies reluctantly, but doesn't have a lot of those races handy, go 'poof' when they run out.
- India even more reluctant, but has to do the same. Lasts longer than China, but 'poof'.
- USA's turn. They say F* You!, launch all their Nukes, and hope for the best; results in fastest 'poof' yet.
- Brazil is next, has more diversity, goes back to placation (if the US couldn't stop him, how can anyone expect us to?). Longest lasting nation to date, but then, 'poof' like all the rest.
- Pakistan's turn. They don't have much diversity, so decide to launch their few Nukes in a fatalistic show of defiance. Poof goes the Pakistanis.
- Russia is on the block next. They decide we are all in this together and tell the world they will either provide the requisite sacrifice with 12 hours to spare each day, or they launch all their Nukes and take the rest of the world down with them. The world complies. Situation stabilizes. Russia is the World's Superpower and all are under the Oppression of the Evil Crab God. No one is happy about it, not even the Russians really.
- World continues to give the sacrifices, but also continues to search for ways to defeat the Evil Crab God, for centuries and maybe even millenia. People still continue to pray to a God who offered another way....

[Count Dearborn]

Garuda swoops out of the heavens, and has raw crab for lunch, with a dolphin chaser. He then turns to the population and says, "Nothing to see here, go on about your business." He then takes flight, and returns to the heavens.

[rewster]

Er, shouldn't Indonesia go instead of Russia and Pakistan?

1 China 1,306,313,812
2 India 1,080,264,388
3 United States 295,734,134
4 Indonesia 241,973,879
5 Brazil 186,112,794

http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/ipc/idbrank.pl

[Romulus Augustulus]

Meh. Nukes. The Russians and the Americans lob a few multi-megaton devices his way, and voila! no more mutant freakazoid.

[Glen]

Er, shouldn't Indonesia go instead of Russia and Pakistan?

1 China 1,306,313,812
2 India 1,080,264,388
3 United States 295,734,134
4 Indonesia 241,973,879
5 Brazil 186,112,794

http://www.census.gov/cgi-bin/ipc/idbrank.pl

Oops. Yeah, Indonesia does the same shuck and jive as India and goes poof. It was in the original that got eaten.

[Romulus Augustulus]

I don't think even a God, who is physical in nature, could survive about five hundred nukes going off in close proximity.

[Psychomeltdown]

I don't think even a God, who is physical in nature, could survive about five hundred nukes going off in close proximity.
Well he appeared to people in a physical nature. It does not mean he putters around the universe as Crab God, only when he slums it and demands goodies from his subjects. :rolleyes:

Well you can see me moving to Mexico and then living a life of a transiet for all my days.

What are the dolphin men doing? Holding up his dias as he parades about the horror struck world?

[Rex Imperator]

Meh. Nukes. The Russians and the Americans lob a few multi-megaton devices his way, and voila! no more mutant freakazoid.

Yeah and voila! No more Earth too. Do have any idea how many nukes it would take to wipe out this cruel and perverse "God"? He may even be unaffected, existing on a higher dimension.

Thank God I'm a Christian. ;)

[Romulus Augustulus]

Actually, I think that even if this thing existed in a higher dimension, nukes could do the trick. Remember, there might also be an energy release into those other dimensions. Hell, just because we only experience three doesn't really mean that's all...perhaps we, and everything around us, exist in more than three? Similarly, I think that there would be energy release into other dimensions.

[DominusNovus]

Just to be on the safe side, I declare my independence from the US. :cool:

[Valamyr]

Meh, its easy. The panicked chinese will kill 200 of their people daily. It probably already happens anyway; theyll just put em all in one place and call it a sacrifice. When theres no more chinese a couple centuries down the line, THEN, the others will kill God.

[Rex Imperator]

Actually, I think that even if this thing existed in a higher dimension, nukes could do the trick. Remember, there might also be an energy release into those other dimensions. Hell, just because we only experience three doesn't really mean that's all...perhaps we, and everything around us, exist in more than three? Similarly, I think that there would be energy release into other dimensions.

I see your point, but I stand by my statement. According to the "monobloc theory", the universe before the Big Bang (which I don't believe in, being a Creationist and all) was this huge mass of matter/energy spanning 10 dimensions. At the Big Bang, the 6 higher dimensions, proving too unstable, collapsed, leaving the 4 in which we currently exist (length, height, width, and time).

Now, if this malevolent being existed somewhere on the upper 6 dimensions, then there is no way a 4-dimensional weapon such as a nuke is going to affect him, regardless how many multi-gigaton bombs we lob at him. (a gigaton-yield explosion would be visible from the moon, by the way).

Another way you can grasp the "gravity" of this is to picture the same "god" standing inside a black hole and being unaffected by the vast gravitic energies. :cool:

[Count Dearborn]

Just as the first 200 are about to be torched, two glowing orbs appear. They are this entity's parents, and they tell it not to be so cruel in its games. The entity fades from view, throwing a tantrum. The orbs then apologize, and fade from view.

[John Carter]

I wont fear this unholy crab god :mad: If he wants sacrifices then the world leaders should trick him into a live sacrifice or meeting on his behest and then whilst China is sacrificing its people by burning 200 every day, organise the largest global military alliance the world has ever seen.Then find out where he is making his demands from and use the time to send about 50,000 tanks, 10,000,000 soldiers and 20,000 gun ships to his location and once he physically materialises in his crab evil god form ,exterminate him and his half human/half dolphin servants. Then the world is free and we go back to worshipping the Christian God :rolleyes:

[WhatIsAUserName]

I see your point, but I stand by my statement. According to the "monobloc theory", the universe before the Big Bang (which I don't believe in, being a Creationist and all) was this huge mass of matter/energy spanning 10 dimensions. At the Big Bang, the 6 higher dimensions, proving too unstable, collapsed, leaving the 4 in which we currently exist (length, height, width, and time).

Now, if this malevolent being existed somewhere on the upper 6 dimensions, then there is no way a 4-dimensional weapon such as a nuke is going to affect him, regardless how many multi-gigaton bombs we lob at him. (a gigaton-yield explosion would be visible from the moon, by the way).

Another way you can grasp the "gravity" of this is to picture the same "god" standing inside a black hole and being unaffected by the vast gravitic energies. :cool:

Isn't that string theory with all the extra dimensions? I was under the assumption that the standard Big Bang involved only like, the four dimensions that we know of. I know some multiverse theories throw in a fifth, but only string proposes ten dimensions.

We don't have anything in the gigaton range, duh, but theoretically, would they wipe out his 4-D form?

[John Carter]

Isn't that string theory with all the extra dimensions? I was under the assumption that the standard Big Bang involved only like, the four dimensions that we know of. I know some multiverse theories throw in a fifth, but only string proposes ten dimensions.

We don't have anything in the gigaton range, duh, but theoretically, would they wipe out his 4-D form?

Well if he materialises in our physical 4 dimensional form there is going to be nothing left of him if he is at the center of a tactical nuclear weapons blast. :D

[Leej]

Most of the world dies. The only survivors are a few who managed to renounce their citizenships and escape into the empty land where other nations once were.

Why? Every race. Thats quite impossible. Some races may well have less then 100 people.


Weapons hurting him- Well yes 3d weapons couldn't kill a 4d being. He probally would feel them though since he can feel our universe. He exists in all times at once so we can't destroy him but we probally can damage him slightly. Like a fly buzzing into your arm or somesuch.

[John Carter]

Most of the world dies. The only survivors are a few who managed to renounce their citizenships and escape into the empty land where other nations once were.

Why? Every race. Thats quite impossible. Some races may well have less then 100 people.


Weapons hurting him- Well yes 3d weapons couldn't kill a 4d being. He probally would feel them though since he can feel our universe. He exists in all times at once so we can't destroy him but we probally can damage him slightly. Like a fly buzzing into your arm or somesuch.

I am sure the third world countries would unite by the time it got to their turn and would send everything they have at him. :rolleyes:

[Rasputin]

Pfft. Crab God Shcrab God. All that needs to be done is to ATTACK HIS WEAK POINT for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

Or just repeat the same argument as in The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
GOD: "I refuse to prove that I exist, for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing."
MAN: "But appearing as a GIANT ENEMY CRAB is a bit of a giveaway isn't it? It proves you exist so therefore you don't."
GOD: "Oh dear, I never thought of that." *disappears in a puff of logic*
MAN: "Well that was easy." *goes on to prove that black is white and gets killed on the next zebra crossing*

[Umbral]

The one, true God comes down to earth. However, here's the thing: He is a giant three headed polka-dotted crab, carried by an array of half-dolphin half-persons. Also, he performs several impossible thigns, to prove that he is God.

He announces to the world that, long ago, he attempted to make known his truth upon the world, but as it were, his prophet got himself stabbed by pagans from a nearby tribe who were later massacred by some crusading knights.

As it were, he's not one of the nice gods either. He announces he requires two hundred humans of various races set of fire and left burning until death each day. He also says that each day that this does not happen he will wipe out the population of one nation, starting with the nation with the most...

What does the world do?

The devils advocate takes the case:

"Various races" only imply there must be several races among the days sacrifices. "Human beings" specify nothing about the condition of said beings.

We could probably get along with various braindead people for a while. Leftover blastulas from fertility treatments might also qualify, if not, embryos.

Then, we go on ignoring him like a loud drunk on the bus.

[Susano]

GOD: "I refuse to prove that I exist, for proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing."
Of course that isnt true, so alas, that doesnt work.

And if hes God (who is God no matter if good or evil - God is supposed to be the Supreme Being. Well it can be that being is evil, no?) he wont be harmed by some nukes, either. Well, looks like the world is screwed...

[Muse_Of_History]

In the event he foolishly doesn't simply destroy the nukes that are flying at him...
He's 10-dimensional according to string theory right? So, eliminating three (length, height, depth) is like destroying one on a human being correct? Then we win. His organs on the 10-dimensional theory are suddenly missing 3. Thats about a third. In effect, he's screwed.

[Stiletto]

Become his avatar lead the armys against the unbelievers and take over the world

[Imajin]

I really wonder what I was thinking when I made this thread...

[Douglas]

Be honest...you were on acid.

It's ok, we still like you just the way you are, Imajin. :p

[Hermanubis]

I really wonder what I was thinking when I made this thread...

Thats me and about half of all the threads I make...

(and 3/4 of the threads I make in ASB and chat!)

[Kidblast]

Then, we go on ignoring him like a loud drunk on the bus.

In my uncle Vinnie's case, that is tough to do.

[mihaf]

We somehow kill God

[Imperator]

We somehow kill God

To the Nietzsche-mobile!

[John Carter]

To the Nietzsche-mobile!

Behold your master ,your future, your supreme king, your Crab God ! :D

[Rasputin]

With Richard Dawkins riding shotgun!