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View Full Version : The African Milk War!


Diamond
February 3rd, 2005, 08:22 PM
Here's a really bizarre thread from the old board, originally posted by someone named 'GodofWI' who I have a sneaking suspicion is my brother:

If I understand evolution (which I think I do), populations that exhibit higher degrees of lactose intolerance have a shorter history of domesticating animals. Since these people have not consumed milk for as many generations they have not been selecting for the enzyme that digests lactose for as long as populations that have had domestication longer.

My educated what if is as follows: South and central Africans began domesticating animals sooner and Europeans remained hunter gatherers longer. The result is that Euro populations have a much higher incidence of lactose intolerance than do Africans. The Europeans would not have been able to conquer so much of the world if they had been plagued with the runs. It is an African power that would have explored and colonized, and had an iron grip on the dairy trade.

This would have resulted in a Libertarian takeover of America because they would not have stood for the mammoth government subsidies it would have taken to offset the dent the cereal industry would have sustained due to Americans not being able to digest milk with wheaties, fruit loops, etc.
Finally, the African Milk Dominion would have sought to expand their dairy influence into North America. Yes, you guessed it: Libertarians would have fought to keep the homeland free of cheese...and so the African Milk War begins.

fortyseven
February 4th, 2005, 03:42 AM
Neat. I remember this.Who wrote it? Maybe i'll repost the one about Soviet paranormal experiemnts. Oh and remember the thread "Everything Goes Crazy" or something. That was really messed up.

Matt
February 4th, 2005, 03:57 AM
I thought rates of lactose intolerance was higher amongst africans and asians?

Diamond
February 4th, 2005, 04:44 AM
Neat. I remember this.Who wrote it? Maybe i'll repost the one about Soviet paranormal experiemnts. Oh and remember the thread "Everything Goes Crazy" or something. That was really messed up.
The SN of the author was GodofWI. This was back in the pre-mandatory registering days, when we had trolls galore. I'm almost positive my brother is the author. :D

Remember 'Blood Moon'? :rolleyes:

fortyseven
February 4th, 2005, 05:23 AM
Ya, I looked thru the archives a while back. Blood Moon is a classic.

Linkwerk
February 4th, 2005, 07:38 AM
hey, I thought blood moon was cool