What an Opportunity!

[Romulus Augustulus]

After you are horribly injured in a car crash, a group of scientists working with Section 62.72624, a secret branch of the CIA, decide to use you for a good purpose. They rebuild you with cybernetic implants and give you the authority to kill as neccesary, in order to accomplish a noble goal: to rid the world of boy bands, reality shows, and their ilk. The cybernetic implants boost you to a body-builder level, and you are armed with an AK-47, an RPG-7, and lots of grenades and ammo. What do you do?

[Dave Howery]

boy bands? reality shows? Screw that... I don't want to kill any innocent people. First I kill the people who made me, and I go look for Osama....

[Doctor What]

I go on an unprecedent killing spree the likes of which have never been seen, cleansing humanity of the ultimate Evil.

Natives on small uncharted Pacific islands sing songs about me. Legends about me are carved upon the side of mountains. Statues are raised in my honor in every townsquare. Women beg to bear my children. Schoolchildren are taught my biography.

I then go on to fulfill my destiny as the ultimate ruler of all mankind.....