You wake up as Darth Vader...

[unsunghero]

After a night of partying and scarfing down cheese and jalapeno smokies, you wake up in a strange place and realize that you are Darth Vader, aboard the Executor. What do you do?!?

[edvader]

Make a light Saber.I assume I have the Force-Darkside of course.Then start conquering the galaxy.First -A.H. site, then the Star Wars site and "correct their lies about me and the Emperor.Appoint Dr What as Grand Moff and Straha as emperor! Get some good looking RED-headed women to be my entourage.Today-A.H.-tomorrow -the World!Look out Sheep!You are NEXT!Bwahaha! :p ;) :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :p :cool:

[Thande]

Download the instructions for how to make Ventolin.

And choke the person who thought it was a good idea to have fighters with no shields, ejection system or missile weapons.

[DominusNovus]

First of all, curse being Leia's father, as that seriously ruins my chances of scoring with her. :cool:

Second, I'd pretty much just keep doing the Vader thing, until the battle of Endor, at which point I'd team up with Luke against the Emperor earlier, and hopefully not get killed.

[unsunghero]

Kill the Emperor - make it look like the Rebels, and take over the joint.
Build the Death Star in total secrecy.
Convert Luke to the dark side.
Destroy the Rebel Alliance (w/said Death Star).
:D :D :D

[MerryPrankster]

Find some healer-type to restore my pre-falling-into-lava-pit good looks and ability to fight/do other active things without artificial aid. The armor will still be kept around, perhaps for ceremonial occasions, but I'd want to look and fight like the pre-falling-into-Lava-Pit-dark-side-Anakin you see in the publicity shots for "Revenge of the Sith."

Then see if Natalie Portman is still alive somewhere. Surely everyone deserves a second chance?

Once my health and personal life are ironed out, tag-team the Emperor with Luke. Once in power, create a more benign Sith Order--the actual Sith Code doesn't seem so bad when you think about it:

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me."

Sounds more passionate than evil.

[DocOrlando]

They can build a ship that can travel faster than light, they can clone one guy by the millions, they can build a city that floats in the clouds...but there aren't any decent plastic surgeons or pulmonary specialists? I find your lack of medical knowledge...disturbing.

[Sargon]

OK, let's see....

This is how things will go if I'm in charge...

Things'll go more or less the same up until ROJ. Ozzel still gets it coz he's crap.

First things first...blow up that shuttle containing the rebel strike team before it lands on Endor.

With Luke, Leia, Chewi, Han, R2D2 and C3PO out of the way, the shield does not fall.

That means I stay on the command ship as the Emperor ordered me to do. Next, when the Rebels arrive, I command the battle instead of Piett. I like Piett, but I just want to get things done my way, using my knowledge of things.

First off, place Interdictors to prevent any chance of the Rebels hypering out. Next...launch loads of TIE Interceptors/TIE Fighters to keep the Rebels occupied, whilst I launch waves of TIE Advanced armed with heavy rockets/space bombs to take out the capital ships. TIE Defenders sent out to escort them, and provide backup. They are armed with advanced missiles. Assault Gunboatds would be sent out to cause as much havoc as possible. IIRC, there is only 1 of the missile boats left...I'll keep it in reserve should it be needed...it'll be heavily escorted by TIE Defenders if it does sortie.

Since I have hundreds of star destroyers...I should guess I have at least a couple of Sector fleets under my control...I'll have thousands of fighters. I will assign 20 Squadrons each (each is 12 fighters) whose sole purpose is to take out the Falcon and Wedge. There's no way realistically speaking (!) that they'll be able to survive 120 fighters each. Just in case, I have other squadrons in reseve. Lando MUST be nailed since he convinces Akbar to fight on.

Assuming Akbar fights on anyway, whilst the Death Star superlaser is vapourising capitals inexorably one after another, I'll have my heavy rockets etc heading towards Akbar's flaghip. I'll assume that Jerjerrod doesn't bother to blow it up right away, so I want it nailed, should affect morale somewhat, and cause some confusion for the Rebels. As a bonus, since Mon Mothma and that traitorous Madine are most likely all on board, I bag quite a few important Rebel leaders including Akbar and others of the command staff.

I order my capital ships not to allow the Rebels to come too close, since I know that is Lando's plan. Manouver away from them if possible...this lets the superlaser do its work, and keeps my ships out of the battle. I have enough fighters to do the job anyway I should guess.

Without the shield going down, even if that A-wing crashes into Executor (and I simply cannot believe that could actually happen, a warship that size must have auxiliary control centers.... it was done just as a 'wow' for the audience it seems), it won't be pulled down by the gravity of the DS since I am nowhere near it. Just to be sure, I'll make sure Piett and myself are located in auxiliary bridges near lifepods.

Rebels pinned between the energy shield and the interdictors, superlaser disintegrating their major assets.

'Break off, the shield is still up!'

You bet it is, and it ain't comin' down.

'That thing's operational!'

Yeah, and it'll toast a lot more of you than in the movie.

'I said, move closer to those star destroyers...we might just take a few of them with us'

Nope you won't..I'm not gonna let you come close...I'll move away instead.

'Han will have the shield down, we have to give him more time'

Bad news mate, it won't be, because he's dead. (well that's what Harrison Ford wanted after all!)

'Come on old buddy, don't let me down'

Not his fault, you can't blame him, I just said he's dead.

'Concentrate all fire on that super star destroyer'

No chance. You won't be able to because a) I'm staying away from you, b) I've blown up most of your ships by now, c) you won't be alive to give that order.

End result, rebels wiped out, Imperial Fleet more or less intact, Death Star survives, Emperor alive.

Take some rebels prisoner, keep the important ones alive for interrogation, persuade Emperor to execute the rest (and give him even more bad press if possible).

Emperor very happy, a bit upset that Luke was killed, but hey, the rebels have been decimated.

Warn Emperor about threat from that reptile invasion (can't remember the name...the Bakura guys) that is coming soon, get him to bring back Grand Admiral Thrawn to command the forces against it. Send him all the assets he needs, speed up completion of DS as fast as possible.

Reptiles thingies get their butts royally kicked and are destroyed using knowledge I have about them. Thrawn proves too tough for them. DS might even arrive in time to give 'em some welly (after bowling up Endor and all those Ewoks of course).

Send DS around galaxy, blow up any planet that defies Empire. Nothing left to stop it (more bad press for Palpy).

I know all about the Maw installation...get my hands on all the goodies there.

I know about Byss. Using my knowledge, kill all the Emperor's clones there, grab the Jedi Holycron and all the Emperor's books on the Dark Side.

At the same time, cause the Emperor to have an unfortunate 'accident'. He can't transfer to a clone, so he is permanently removed from the scene. Use his dark knowldege to learn how to transfer MY essence to a clone body.

I know about the Mount Tantiss facility. Scratch Joruus C Boath. Use cloning facility to make loads of replacements for myself. When the time is right, get out of crippled body into a healthy normal one. Retain my mask and suit for scaring people now and then.

I know about the Katana fleet. Grab all ships, man them with clones loyal to me, add some of the other SSDs and ISDs to the fleet. My new flagship is Eclipse II.

Use my knowledge to wipe out all threats that are mentioned in the literature/expanded universe etc. Cultivate allies. Promote Piett and Pellaeon.

Find Mara Jade and give her a good bonking.

Go back to Earth, throw Lucas into a prison for the travesty of 'The Phantom Menace'

Invite Christopher Lee (as Lee, not as Dooku) to dinner and have a good chinwag.

Once all threats are gone, liberalise regime, and rule in a nicer way.

Since I am now immortal, I will rule forever as Emperor Vader the Great and Merciful.


Sorted.


Sargon

[Thande]

Could you say what the coordinates of the Katana fleet were to the nearest cm? :) And IIRC the only reason the Ssi-Ruuk invaded was that the Emperor died, so they won't if the Emperor is still alive.

What would you do about the coming Yuuzhan Vong?

[Sargon]

Could you say what the coordinates of the Katana fleet were to the nearest cm? :) And IIRC the only reason the Ssi-Ruuk invaded was that the Emperor died, so they won't if the Emperor is still alive.

What would you do about the coming Yuuzhan Vong?

They'll be nailed too. I have a united Empire facing them. And I've got Thrawn. Plus I'll just wheel out one of my secret weapons.....Captain Kirk, Spock and crew!

errr, maybe that's not such a good idea...since he's so invincible, I might have problems with him later....

Sargon

[DocOrlando]

*ahem*

NEEEERRRRRRDDDS!

[mattep74]

Ok so i wake up as Vader just as the DS nears Endor. When 30 Xwings and Y wings attack i might think its a good idea to send out the entire defensefleet of Tiefighters instead of just a handfull. Then maybe and just maybe there isnt any xwings left in the end

If i wake up when the fleet nears Hoth i send down tiefighters etc outside the forcefield and then they can fly in from there(now, how could the empire land outside the forcefield and walk in in the first place?)

[Thande]

You do mean Yavin rather than Endor, right? And Vader did try to send out all the TIEs, but Tarkin overruled him so only Vader's personal TIE and its two escorts went out (rather than all 7200 TIEs against 30 X- and Y-wings...what an idiot).

[Bulgaroktonos]

Well, A)I would hire Boba Fett and pay him far more than that foolish slug Jabba, so Fett can assassinate anybody I want (come on, he is one of the main instruments of the Jedi Purge, he can deal with anybody). B) do what everybody else said, kill the Emperor w/Luke, destroy the Rebel Alliance.
C)Fett then gets the Mandalorians to come back into the galaxy, so the Yuuzhan Vong are fucked in the arse, cause its Boba Fett and the Mandalorians and Luke, myself, and the Empire. We win.

[Hendryk]

I'll gladly have Darth Vader rule the SW galaxy if that can spare us the whole Yuuzhan Vong thing. So I support Sargon wholeheartedly.
And I mean, not just that they get their ass kicked. That they don't even exist in the first place. The whole concept is AFAIC a complete betrayal of the SW universe; it can only have been thought up by a Trekkie infiltrator who wanted to subvert SW from within.

[ljofa]

Go to Wayland, get myself cloned and use the force to leave the destroyed body of Skywalker and enter another.

Go to Myrkr, harvest a few Ysalamiri, bring them to the Imperial Palace on Imperial Centre and dispose of the Emperor.

Go to Hoth, litter the Hoth system with a couple dozen Interdictor cruisers and ensure NO rebel escapes.

Out and out kill Prince Xizor.

Go to Mechis 3 and incinerate the planet. Then resurrect the IG-88 programme and build an army to take on the Yuuzhan-Vong together with deployment of Alpha Red.